Oh god, my husband is doing 'the voice' and 'the shuffle'

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He told me his teeth were 'chattering' when he got changed for bed 😂

Oh I shouldn't laugh! Also hope he's not as bad as he says because I don't want it want the baby to get it

Currently looking at my DP laid back on sofa, clutching a blanket to himself snivelling furiously as he has the flu. It's not flu. He has the same cold the kids and I have had. He has done the shuffle, the groaning, the clutching himself as he is coughing, the nearly shut eyes and the weak voice- witch was not a weak voice when the football was on and his team won 5-0 earlier. Funny how he could perk up for that but not help put the boys to bed- just offered him a Lemsip, he groaned back that it's ok, he will just manage. I dispaire.

Oh this thread has me howling, the thought of all these ill creatures simultaneously shuffling around their houses. I needed this today. DH has been doing this for the past 11 days and I reached the end of my patience today, it’s been awful but he still refuses to acknowledge its anything other than a near death illness and refuses to participate in family activities. He’s even preparing for not being at work at all next week. I get that he’s feeling rotten, but whilst he’s been absent our DCs have both had illnesses and I’ve also been ill. I’ve had to carry on regardless with assistance, luckily, from my mum.

I’ve had enough, it’s ruined our Christmas and New Year but mostly it’s taken the very little time I could spend with the DCs just having fun because I’ve had to do everything else too.

DH has spent 5 of the last 7 days in bed giving me little weak-voiced updates from the depths of the duvet every time I've been in to put away laundry - "The shivering seems to have stopped." "I feel sick every time I stand up." "I think I might be getting a little hungry. That's probably a good sign isn't it?"

This Christmas was the first time in a full year that I've had more than two days off work together. He asked me when I was due back earlier and made a little sad face when I said Monday - I've offered to hire some professional mourners to wail at his bedside if he's lonely.

flowers cake and gin to help us through the struggle

Told him earlier to just go to bed if he was that tired and rough feeling
I managed one pyjama day when I felt really really rough but even then I sorted the usual at home. Just pointed out that while I spent that day in and out of bed he was up and about pootling soo g what he wanted to do and gaming so why should I go to bed this evening early when it's not me feeling I'll
Think they just want us to listen to the random tongue out coughing and groaning along side the shiver effects

Loving the sympathy is between shut and syphilys comment.
I'm pretty sure my mum used to say that to my dad

I always that my dexh was the world's worst culprit of "man flu syndrome"...
Until after our divorce and it became clear all these years he had been suffering from something far far far worse...

GAY MAN FLU....

Now if I had just known I'd have been like Florence bloody nightingale when he was ill.

Ah hello to my new support group. My dh is currently dressed in his flannel pjs and hoodie of doom pulled up like ET. His overall look is homeless troll under a bridge. The sniffing and snorting has started but he is having a few wee glasses of wine to make himself feel better. It’s tough being so ill

Mine has the magicians hanky, an ever lasting roll of paper coming out from his wrists to blow his nose whilst going "oh my god, this is it, I'm dying".

DH is cross with me and DS1 because I've got the lurgy (and it's bloody awful) so on Tuesday morning I did the sickman shuffle in my dressing gown, with the hood up, and did a pathetic little moan with every step. DS1, who gave me the lurgy, thought it was really funny but DH was not amused and still has the hump. 🙄

He keeps trying to force a little sniff followed by "ooh I think I'm coming down with something." He's really not but he's gone to bed in the spare room covered in Vick and Olbas oil on a hanky hanging from the shelf.

Christ knows what he'd be like if he ever gets really ill.

Omg mine has the dressing gown of doom out
I was going to ask for a handhold but this thread is amazing; just enjoying reading it. I'm not alone!

Between shit and syphilis 😂😂😂😂😂Your Nan is awesome

My childhood was coloured by Dad’s colds. If he got one in the autumn he would still have it the following spring. He used to cough so hard he passed out, a dreadful shrill honking cough. His mother had told him to cough it all up and out when he was a child and he never stopped. Anyone who brought a cold into the house used to be near lynched by the rest of the family.

On the plus side Dad was wonderful to Us when we were ill, regular bedside visits with refreshing drinks, little snacks, soothing strokes of the forehead - could forgive him a lot for that.

Dp has been shuffling since Wednesday. He tries to do the teeth chattering but can’t quite manage it - looks like a beaver trying to gnaw some wood.

He has his ‘not well’ hoody on but we also have a ‘hat of heat retention’ which is a manky old khaki beanie that I can’t remember ever being put in the wash in the past 4 years, as he read you lose heat through your head, and he’s ‘freezing to death’

He’s gone to bed with his slippers on and a 6 pack of triple velvet and I’ve been made to promise to check on him to make sure he’s not dead before I go to sleep in the spare room.

I can go one better. DH has just 'booked' an illness. He asked me what date I went on a holiday two years ago then said oh I am nearly due my pneumonia then. I always get poorly around that date.
I said 'pneumonia ? Are you sure ?' And the reply was 'well I think it is'

Am loving this thread ladies 😁😁😁
Got over his funny five mins now.
Dd8 came downstairs earlier to tell me she went in to see him and he was asleep on his back with arms crossed tightly over the chest 😂😂😂
We both sat downstairs giggling 🤭

Went up to do the obligatory wife check and he was miraculously awake and downloading a new game onto the PS4

He shuffled out of bed for the loo and a scoot round the cupboards and fridge and is now back in bed but gaming so no snivelling or shivering and even the hell hoody and dressing gown of dooms been removed "in case his temperature goes up again"

I'm sat here mumsnetting right next to him trying not to smirk while reading this thread

I had the recent lurgy that went round, like a head cold type one. Felt vile but went to work and took meds etc
Male colleague caught it. Oh my life, I'm glad I'm single we never heard the end of it for DAYS

My fiancé has a cold right now and it’s just confirmed to me that I am marrying the right man because he has just been getting on with his day in between the occasional lemsip. He asked me what the whole deal was with ‘man flu’ so I had to explain that whenever my ex had a cold he would expect me to cancel all my plans and stay by his side all weekend while making occasional comments about writing his will ‘just in case’ (I wish I was joking!)

Ex used to keep a toilet roll by his side at all times too, and then leave the used tissues ALL OVER the flat. It was vile.

I once came home while he was off sick with a cold (seriously, just a cold) and the flat was suspiciously clean. I asked him if he’d been cleaning while he was ill and he admitted that no, he’d called his mum to come round and look after him while I was at work.

When I got sick he would say it was different for women because men are so much bigger and stronger so the difference is much more dramatic for them... or some bollocks like that.

Gosh. I really miss him.

I’ve loved reading about all these poor, suffering souls. @chocolate, nearly peed myself at the picture of the homeless troll 🤣🤣🤣. I know mine is dying when he wears the divers thermals beneath my lovely fluffy dressing gown. Doesn’t quite go with the beard though. Been lucky so far, not a sneeze to be heard. To all you poor nurses out there, why don’t you switch the cough syrup with night nurse? You might get a little peace and quiet.

I remember DH reporting to his mother soon after arriving at theirs for the weekend that his stomach was a bit dodgy. She brought out a whole selection of old wives' remedies, some supposedly being of the clearing out variety, some being "binding". DP had a lovely time obediently swallowing it all. Eventually I couldn't help commenting that his system must be cast iron to accommodate that lot. It was NOT well received, by either DH or his mother, but at least DH didn't dare complain about his stomach any more in case I blamed it on his mother.

This thread makes me thank the divorce god all over again.

XH had a special facial expression i dubbed CTJ - Come To Jesus. He would tilt his head back and close his eyes in sheer exhaustion waiting silently for me to notice. I was very tempted to karate chop his exposed neck.

Come to jesus? ah stop I'm in stitches laughing!!

This thread has made me very concerned that I might actually be a man as I do all of this. In my defense I was terribly spoilt by my mother. DH just doesn’t understand the standard of care to which I am accustomed!

Oh good God, “come to Jesus”.,,,,🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I threw my dh’s dressing gown away. I just couldn’t bare it. All the best!

Why is it never just a cold? DH will not only always say he has whatever I have (only worse, of course) but at the faintest sniffle decides that he has full blown flu and must take to his sick bed - hoody and joggers on with the hood up, sad look on his face, weak voice and to top it off posting a poorly face photo on Facebook. Presumably for the memorial page in case he doesn't make it. Then I get a load of messages from my mum and his saying that he hope he's ok. Never mind that I've also had a horrible cold and am looking after our 4 month old baby whilst he can't possibly come out of his fortress of solitude.

He's up this morning and soldiering on. I've been shovelling day nurse and water down his neck.