Oh god, my husband is doing 'the voice' and 'the shuffle'

[iveneversaidanything]

He told me his teeth were 'chattering' when he got changed for bed 😂

Oh I shouldn't laugh! Also hope he's not as bad as he says because I don't want it want the baby to get it

Did he take paracetamol?

Night nurse.

He's hopefully fine

Did he get the idea from the "Terry & June" tribute they played the other evening :)

Ahhh, the Dressing Gown of Doom, and the Hoody of Perpetual Misery.

Both well known in this house as barely a week goes by without dp contracting something life-threatening/permanently debilitating.

I have sympathy I'm not a monster haha. Its just the whole carry on, there's no need for it. Take the drugs and if possible take to your bed until you feel better

Damn, thought he was going on "The Voice"

I knew even from the sidebar that it was going to be the Ill Voice.

It is one reason I am glad I am divorced. XH used to do the teeth-chattering thing too. It made me want to kill him.

He had the Dressing Gown of Doom, too. And the Scarf of Sickness. I was always tempted to strangle him with it.

“I’m too ill for sex, but maybe a blow job would help?”

Just to be helpful and in the interests of science this is a piece about, Zarrintan, S "Ejaculation as a potential treatment of nasal congestion in mature males" The Journal of Medical Hypotheses, 71(2), 2008 :

It is known that sexual arousal in men is followed by penile erection and subsequent ejaculation" (unless of course you've taken too much Viagra or something). The emission phase of ejaculation is under the control of the sympathetic nervous system, which of course has lots of adrenergic receptors. The author reasons that ejaculation will stimulation adrenergic receptors in the refractory period immediately afterward, and stimulation of your adrenergic receptors will give you relief from your cold.
The author proposes that, with proper scheduling of masturbation and/or sexual intercourse a guy could keep his nose clear for the rest of his life! I wonder how the partner takes that. "Honey, come here, my nose is stuffed up..."

scicurious.scientopia.org/2008/09/19/screw-the-sudafed-when-your-nose-aint-great-masturbate/

So, if one were to take this literally, then the DH in question is opting for the least potentially effective intervention

To be fair to the dude, he was asleep by 8pm so he is probably quite poorly, even if it is only a cold. I hope he’s better tomorrow (and that you don’t catch it).

just got a cold you're a hard woman dahlietta you do realise that the entire tissue industry of the country would collapse if it weren't for brave little soldiers struggling to survive the ravages of what could be a killer disease previously unknown to mankind which if undefeated by their immune systems would probably spread to the rest of us and decimate the world's population.

DH went snow camping for 2 days and came back yesterday with a 'fatal' lower back ache. No shit, Sherlock! What the fuck do you expect to happen after sleeping on frozen ground? You're not 20 anymore, bub, we're both retirees! He got out the very loud vibrating 'heating pad of doom' accompanied by grimaces, twitches, and moans. He informed me that there was no way he'd be able to help me with the boxes of Xmas decs that need to go upstairs.

Yet, today he's able to start putting away his camping gear. Idiot!

Oh ffs, not the shuffle 🙄 is he doing the belly clutch as he coughs as well?

I have one too and I think I might have to book a hotel for the weekend.

The dressing gown is out. Shuffling, sniffing and forcing out a cough every 2 minutes.

Sometimes the cough turns into a weird choke to which he’ll then follow loudly with ‘UGH I FEEL SO AWFUL’.

Really??? I hadn’t noticed

You have my sympathy, I had the “goon of doom” donned last weekend.
I lost my shit after he muttered feeling “lightheaded”after a 500m walk.

He was well enough to drink beer in the evening, and apart from some admittedly long sneezing episodes, had yet to see any evidence of nose blowing. The sighs and concern over itgetting worse only transpired when jobs/chores presented themselves.

Hopefully you can enjoy your night with full control over the remote, fully reclined sofa surfing and not having a wind tunnel of snoring in your left ear later 😜

Mine has the Dressing Gown and The Cough. Fortunately, he has learnt that I have no sympathy if he won't help himself. He has taken paracetamol and gone to bed early.

for all those with man-flu sufferers in their midst.

My DH has been shuffling and using The Voice of Pestilence all week. He's also been making his eyes look almost closed and doing Poorly Farts

God knows my DH gets on my wick at times, but when he is ill you would never know it. He does the opposite, he tries to ignore the fact that he is ill and carries on, which can be foolish at times. Don't think I could cope with amateur dramatics.

I really don't miss this. Exh was the worst ever ill person. He did 'the sniff' when he had a cold. It reverberated around the house as he has a mahoosive nose and made me feel . He did it every 40 seconds and would ask pathetically for a lemon and honey because 'only I could make them properly'. He once took to bed for a week with a stomach upset - following my three days of norovisrus. He was never even sick or shitty but worried he might get it .... he was such a nob

Just laughing at reading this thread as my DH has just announced his “achyness” and going up to bed using the shuffle method!
I’ve not been right for days and have soldiered on so I knew this was coming as I only mentioned it yesterday...

Mine proudly asked me if I thought it was amazing that he hadn't caught anything from me a, b or c at work who were all dripping with colds this week and hadn't caught mine either. My eyes were rolling so hard I nearly fell over. I've had two days of lightheaded unable to eat cough so hard I nearly puke/pass out and he's being smug that he hasn't caught anything!

I had a bad cold there some weeks ago and had to take two days off after weeks of trying to shift it on my own. Looking forward to a day in bed to myself, despite him teasing me that I was on the doss and the eejit came home at lunchtime claiming his eye was twitchy in a pathetic Voice of Pestilence.

His eye was twitchy.

Lots of fake coughs and pathetic sighs and being sent to the chemist for Exputex. He over egged it though. It was quite amusing dropping hints I would have been up for a ride only he was too ill for it. Aw.

doing Poorly Farts

Oh God that's a new one 😂

Mine dons a hoody, pulls up the hood and lies on the sofa with his back turned away from us. He also adopts his ‘’ill walk’’ where he squares his shoulders and sort of hangs his arms behind him and waddles about like a new born penguin with Rickets.

🐧

"He's wearing his thermal skiing under trouser things 😂 and a massive hoody."

Obviously all the special effects are annoying, but last night I slept in a vest & pjs with 2 fleece blankets on the duvet & was still cold!!

And I'm not even ill!

Mine used to breathe on my hand and say in a "weak and shaky" voice "seeee?....cough cough.....My breath is so hot....". Ie, means he's dying.