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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask what gives you reason to live?

203 replies

letsleepingbabieslie · 04/01/2019 17:46

Subject line sounds more depressing than it's supposed to - I'm not suicidal, just often wonder 'what the hell is the point of all this [life]?!'. I admit I'm not exactly the most happy go lucky person - if I was constantly laughing my socks off I guess I wouldn't question it. But even though I'm basically happy and very fortunate (no complaints about health, family, work etc) I do struggle to find a logical reason to live.

So I'm wondering, what do other people find gives meaning to life and makes it all worthwhile?

OP posts:
PlatypusPie · 04/01/2019 22:22

Curiosity about what turn life will take next, what new experiences I will have that I can’t imagine yet. My ( adult) children and seeing how their lives are developing.

I did nearly die about 10 years ago, after which I treasure every moment - makes me not sweat the small stuff.

IndianaMoleWoman · 04/01/2019 22:27

I’m so nosy, I can’t stand the idea of not finding out what happens next in life. That’s what most worries me about death; never finding out what happens next in the lives of my children/family/friends.

It also concerns me that I might never find out how I die, eg if I died instantly in a bomb without knowing whether it was a bomb or just an explosion, or if it was a bomb who planted it, why etc., or if it was an accidental explosion what caused it etc. So basically, nosiness.

IndianaMoleWoman · 04/01/2019 22:29

Cross post with PlatypusPie, but I like that you used the word curiosity instead of nosiness, sounds so much better!

Bumblebee39 · 04/01/2019 22:36

Kids. Other moments of joy and happiness (a good book, good music, tasty food, exercise "highs", achieving a goal, laughing with friends)

-And an overarching belief that I would not have lived such a depressing life if I wasn't going to make some truly fabulous contribution to the arts, science or the literary world because if one is not a tortured artist one is just tortured??-

AnnaNimmity · 04/01/2019 22:38

claire I love my puppy so much. I am so surprised (as not a dog lover at all) how much I adore him.

FreshlyWashed · 04/01/2019 22:38

NorthernKnickers we need to know more about this amazing mattress!

U2HasTheEdge · 04/01/2019 22:39

Children, husband, family, friends, dogs, my job, reading, nice food, hot baths, music, love, kindness, nature, human connection, the fact that there is still so much to learn and experience. I could go on.

I have had times where my mental health has been very poor and every day was a massive struggle living in fear. During that time it was my family that kept me going.

DrunkUnicorn · 04/01/2019 22:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Tobythecat · 04/01/2019 22:56

I knew before opening the thread most of the replies would be 'my kids' and i cant help but feel really sad. Its like having kids is the main reason people feel their life is worth living :(

Greenglassteacup · 04/01/2019 22:57

My child

BlueJag · 04/01/2019 23:48

People say life is too short but it also can be very long.
I enjoy mine but it is puzzling why are we all here?

PutYourShirtOnMartin · 04/01/2019 23:57

My kids ( they are now adults) and my husband.

I had post natal psychosis after DD2 was born. Dd1 was four years old. The only thing that stopped me from killing myself was the thought of leaving DD1. I wasn't bothered about DD2.

Lilsquish · 04/01/2019 23:59

at the moment the only thing keeping me here is my daughter.
Sad

ichifanny · 05/01/2019 00:00

My children , so much love and wonder in them I look forward to every little stage they have and just can’t imagine anything could be bad in a world that brings such love in the form of babies and children .
Beyond that the love for my husband , my friendship with my parents , nice food , feeling safe I’m well aware I’m lucky to have all these things and it could be different . I work in High dependency so I see the real shit side of life and nightmares families go through health wise so I’m thankful to just be able to get up and make a bowl of cereal some days .

Flusteredwintertime · 05/01/2019 00:01

My child. If I didnt have him I'd still just be coasting through life without much thought of my worth or potential. He's my miracle baby and incompasses my whole world. Honestly, I'd I didn't have him, I'd probably be in a ditch somewhere, I had no regard for my own life until I became responsible for another.

ShatnersWig · 05/01/2019 00:05

Well I have no kids, been single over 8 years, my only family are my parents whom I'm not close to. It's existence as far as I'm concerned and I wouldn't be at all upset to be told tomorrow "you've only got six months left"

MiniMum97 · 05/01/2019 00:07

I know exactly what you mean. I often look around and think "why the fuck is everyone bothering". I don't get it. The ups in life don't seem a trade off to me for the many bad and difficult things. Life is generally fucking hard and exhausting. And not many people seem massively overjoyed by the "good things" - I often wondered if others feel more joy than me but no one I know seems particularly full of joy! I thought I always the only one who felt like this so good to "meet" you OP!

I don't connect with people properly and suspect that this is what crates a "point" for people - deep connection with others? Something that seems to elude me.

MarcieBluebell · 05/01/2019 00:08

people say life is too short but it also can be very long.

Agree. They say you only live once. But I think you live every day. You only die once.

I've learned physical health and love is probably the most important thing.

VanGoghsDog · 05/01/2019 00:10

Nothing really, I generally find it quite dull. The thought of living to 80+ fills me with horror.

Just have to keep on doing though.

NoCanoe · 05/01/2019 00:11

My cats.
I have a DH, siblings, friends, but at end of day, it's my cats who have kept me here in my darkest hours.

mrcharlie · 05/01/2019 00:31

I don't have any suicidal thoughts at all.
But having just turned 50 this week, all debt gone including mortgage. I'm constantly now asking myself what the hell I should do.
Partner and child (11yrs)
I just think...give up. Just go with the flow, try to eat healthy and exercise. But just remember you're no longer a thirty something.....it's all down hill from here on.

Absolutely everything just seems completely pointless.
Even a lottery win wouldn't turn back the clock!! utter shit!!

nicoala1 · 05/01/2019 00:32

I live every day just as I want to.

NO rules, nothing. That is the ultimate freedom really. Kids gone, DH still here but he knows what I am like, and he does his own thing also.

There will never be perfection, but there may be enjoyment of the moment which we share a lot of the time, but not always. That is the key I think.

zcsagsa · 05/01/2019 00:46

My family's dog. He is so pure and filled with joy. Csn also be a dick at times, but I really don't care because he makes me feel loved/special. (I'm recently single and childless).

I'm also on the brink of a promising career which simultaneously gives me both reason to live and the most intense fear

zcsagsa · 05/01/2019 00:48

I used my dog as motivation whilst at university, I'm 80% certain he's the reason I got a first.

Schmoobarb · 05/01/2019 00:53

So I'm wondering, what do other people find gives meaning to life and makes it all worthwhile?

Obviously the big things, children, spouse, family. But there are lots of other things from work to friends to Tv to nice dinners lol...I get enjoyment from all of these things. I guess a “what’s the meaning of life” pondering might be normal but I don’t have any desire to not be here, and even if I felt ambivalent that wouldn’t be enough to take an active step to end it all.