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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask what gives you reason to live?

203 replies

letsleepingbabieslie · 04/01/2019 17:46

Subject line sounds more depressing than it's supposed to - I'm not suicidal, just often wonder 'what the hell is the point of all this [life]?!'. I admit I'm not exactly the most happy go lucky person - if I was constantly laughing my socks off I guess I wouldn't question it. But even though I'm basically happy and very fortunate (no complaints about health, family, work etc) I do struggle to find a logical reason to live.

So I'm wondering, what do other people find gives meaning to life and makes it all worthwhile?

OP posts:
hellabellabluebell · 04/01/2019 21:01

@Wearywithteens

Oh sweet lord this sums up how I felt as a child so accurately, I thought I was the only one! I couldn't stand other kids, like "why are you so happy all the fucking time?!" Honestly I just thought their mums were putting coke on their cornflakes, that's the only reasonable explanation Hmm

AgathaRaisinsCat · 04/01/2019 21:02

This is a wonderful thread. To know that there are so many others who also question the point of it all makes me feel less alone. Like many others, I am not suicidal but do wonder 'why' - everything just seems to be an unremitting drag. However, I am resolved that this year I will seek help. It may be that there is no help but I will know that I have tried.

For those who don't question it, I am inspired by you too. I would love to feel that way and order if these is any way of switching from my inherently 'glass half empty' thoughts to your far more positive way of being.

redtulip19 · 04/01/2019 21:04

It may sound sad to some people but I live for my dad 😌 and my child 😍 I love both parents but my dad after my child is my whole life and I have no idea what I'm going to do one day once he's not here. I have always said I won't be able to carry on living but I know I will it just wouldn't be the same. My child is also so close to him too and this means the world.
I also live knowing that EVERYTHING happens for a reason and strength is found through weakness.

I also live for compassion and support giving and getting from people close or not, good wine, good food and good company 🍷

user1483646497 · 04/01/2019 21:06

I very much struggle with this thought too.

There are so many things I enjoy and get pleasure from, yet despite that when I take a step back and think about it, it is all just killing time until we die. And i don't mean that to sound like i'm wallowing in self pity as I'm actually quite a positive thinker, but really that's exactly what it is isn't it? In 100 years from now we'll all be in the same place no matter what we're doing at the moment, in fact I find the thought so overwhelming it takes my breath away.

AnnaNimmity · 04/01/2019 21:07

birdsgottofly me too - happiness is my driver too.

Do what makes you happy key imo

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 04/01/2019 21:08

The complete paralysing fear of what’s on the other side

peachgreen · 04/01/2019 21:08

My husband and my daughter. When I was in the throes of PND it was the knowledge that my husband would be bereft without me that kept me going. I think and hope he would eventually meet someone else but I know it wouldn't be the same kind of connection as we have and I don't want to deprive him of that. And now I'm so utterly besotted with my daughter that I can't imagine ever leaving her.

bobstersmum · 04/01/2019 21:10

My children, they are everything to me, my life is devoted to them basically, I didn't have any idea I could feel love like this before I had them.

bobstersmum · 04/01/2019 21:12

Mybreadseggy, I wish you the very best for your future.

CosmicCanary · 04/01/2019 21:13

Me.
I have kids and people in my life who love me but I want to live for me.
I figure when I am done doing for everyone else then I get to do the things I want to do.

Visit New York.
Win in Vegas.
See the Northern Lights
Fly 1st class
Spend 1 night in a £1000 a night hotel
Ride an elephant
Hug a orangutang
Visit the ice hotel
Tickle a koala
Hug prince Harry

So many things to do and I need to live to achieve them.

NeverTwerkNaked · 04/01/2019 21:16

My children. My family (DP, step kids, siblings, parents) and friends.
A feeling of satisfaction from my job- it is intellectually stimulating but also makes me feel like I am making a difference.
A pleasure in nature.
The adventures.
Cheese.

I have been very suicidal, but I couldn’t have done that to my children. ExH still can make me feel suicidal but all those reasons keep me going.

Jiminybikkit · 04/01/2019 21:17

There's a few days in spring, roundabout mid April or early May usually, where I can smell warmth and life flowing from the ground up. It sends me scatty, and I want to lie naked on the grass and drink the soil. I get such an animal happiness then, and feel that nothing will go wrong ever again. I would miss those days.

I have had anxiety all my life (diagnosed, medicated at times) sometimes I think it's gone forever, then it comes back and overwhelms me. Sometimes the thought of living with it forever makes me feel really tired, but I'm pretty stubborn and although I'm an atheist, I do think life is very precious and fleeting.

I think if you've kids, you've no right to kill yourself. I've first hand experience of lives torn apart by suicide. Once you have kids, they are your responsibility and that's that. It's the one responsibility you never get to shirk, because it's yours alone, and you will fuck up their lives if you exit like that.

MattBerrysHair · 04/01/2019 21:19

Junkmail I love your post. Its how I feel about life, and I'm so grateful because I never used to feel like that at all.

Girlicorne · 04/01/2019 21:22

My children and all the fun stuff we do together. Work to a lesser extent when I know I be made a difference to someone but it gets harder and harder as governments continue to mess with funding (I m in adult education)

darksideofthemooncup · 04/01/2019 21:22

My daughter. If I didn't have her I don't think I would still be here in all honesty.

OakElmAsh · 04/01/2019 21:23

Being able to appreciate a warm comfortable house, cosy couch, lovely soft bed
Hear the dc playing together and giggling (rare but worth it)
Meeting and working with really interesting intelligent people in work

Abby360 · 04/01/2019 21:23

My son. Hearing his giggle and cuddling him. Seeing the world through his eyes. Everything about him basically!
Sex. That first bite of tasty food when you're starving. The moment when you're laughing your head off with friends over something stupid and can't stop. A candlelit hot bath with a glass of wine and bubbles. Making other people happy. When your house is all clean and tidy and you sit down to relax with nothing to do. Traveling and seeing the world. Human connections. Watching trash telly. So so much more but I'm beginning to sound like an annoying Facebook meme Grin

Life is wonderful , even if there is nothing at all after death, how amazing that you are here now and get to experience (hopefully) 80-100 years of it.

123drink · 04/01/2019 21:24

partner and kids.
If it wasn't for them I'd be long gone I think.

Begrateful · 04/01/2019 21:30

The priceless things in life such as spending time with my child and loved ones.🤗

MorrisZapp · 04/01/2019 21:31

I've got a kid and a great family but I live for time alone. Walking, reading, Netflix, shopping, planning stuff and enjoying the changing seasons. And I'll get more and more of it as ds grows up so it's all going in the right direction.

NorthernKnickers · 04/01/2019 21:46

Also...my new bed!! I'm not even kidding...it's THE most comfortable bed ever (well it's the mattress obviously that's comfortable...wooden frames are just wooden frames 🤷‍♀️).

Honestly, if you lot slept in my mattress, you'd want to live forever 👍

QOD · 04/01/2019 21:47

My daughter and my dog
I always used to have the thought that without DD I couldn’t live. But now I have ddog who loves ME like I love DD.
I’m not depressed, quite happy generally but yeah they are my reason

JaneJeffer · 04/01/2019 21:50

Sometimes I hate life and sometimes I love it but hope keeps me going.
www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/44325/the-darkling-thrush

Vitalogy · 04/01/2019 21:51

Purposelessness

ClaireElizabethBeauchampFraser · 04/01/2019 22:09

I get asked this quite a lot, as I am severely disabled and bedbound. Several loved ones have said that in my shoes, they would think life was not worth living (that made me 😮🙄😥).

However, despite my disability and chronic pain, (alongside chronic exhaustion),I am very happy!!!!! I am married to my soulmate, he is a fantastic husband and Father to our two dc, he is also my best friend! We have fun together and enjoy being in each other’s company! On top of that I have got the two best kids I could ever imagine! They are amazing individuals, full of love, kindness, humour and empathy. 8 couldn’t be prouder if I tried!

I also have two beautiful rescue puppies, who came to us timid, terrified after suffering extreme abuse in a foreign country. We rescued them and have shown them love, kindness and security from the first day they arrived. In return they are sweet natured, loving, vulnerable and funny! They are incredibly loving and so, so protective of our children! This has been a good thing as they have seen off bullies who have tried to attack my autistic ds .