to ask what gives you reason to live?

[letsleepingbabieslie]

Subject line sounds more depressing than it's supposed to - I'm not suicidal, just often wonder 'what the hell is the point of all this [life]?!'. I admit I'm not exactly the most happy go lucky person - if I was constantly laughing my socks off I guess I wouldn't question it. But even though I'm basically happy and very fortunate (no complaints about health, family, work etc) I do struggle to find a logical reason to live.

So I'm wondering, what do other people find gives meaning to life and makes it all worthwhile?

A sense of belonging, being part of the community, hopefully making a small impact on local issues such as homelessness. A worthwhile job which gives me huge satisfaction (& very low salary ).

I envy people who say ‘their children’, I really struggle at being a parent and find it the hardest thing in my life.

spending time with family, friends, good food, drinks, the dog, crossfit and competitions to work towards, walking and getting out in nature, seeing new things, going on holidays, learning, movies, books...etc

Shit - very little right now. I hadn't really realised.

So many things to do on this earth, so many things to experience in this life. Living is truly amazing- spoken by a true atheist!

So many things to do on this earth, so many things to experience in this life- Living is truly amazing-. Spoken by a true atheist!

I find the world amazing.
Family, friends and strangers. Forests, rivers, mountains and seas.
Sunsets, stars, run and sun
Buildings, paintings, books.

Although that’s not a reason to live, it makes life worth living.

I was going to post something v similar OP.

Once DCs have become adults, and you're financially ok, and have had your major life relationship, what possible purpose is there left? Just moments of enjoyment interwoven with boredom, or worse. Filling in the time til you die. It's all very very odd when you think about it. Personally I'd rather not have been born (not remotely suicidal) as on balance there's more shit than pleasure.

Genetically I've done my job. The bits that are left

Life is a limited time experience, grab it while it's here as it will be over all too soon and once it's gone you can't get it back.

I dunno, I quite like life. Take nowt for granted and enjoy the little things.

I am unrelentingly positive. I can see good in most situations. I think the world is mostly kind and fascinating and lovely.

My children.
The literal miracle of life - have you ever thought about how unlikely it is that you are alive? The chances of the one sperm and egg that made you - and then those that made your parents and grandparents and so on. The chance is so tiny..!

I don’t believe there’s any set purpose which has at times left me in a place of “what’s the point” but then I realised I get to choose the point of my life. I don’t have to live up to anyone else’s expectations, only mine. Liberating!

My faith
My family
My friends

My boyfriend and family♥️

My children and my dog. I am really struggling at times due to marriage breakdown at the moment, sometimes the only thing that keeps me going is the thought that the dark feelings will pass and that if it does actually become too much to bare I can opt out.

Literally the fact that if I wasn’t here it would destroy my parents. It’s the only thing currently keeping me alive.

Under different circumstances I’d have said spending time with the people you love, enjoying hobbies and everything this beautiful world has to offer, and appreciating nature, the sun, the sea etc.

This is going to sound terrible but it is the truth.

I'm only here because a close relative took their own life and seeing the devastation it leaves behind has taken that option off the table so that leaves me stuck alive until something else decides to end my life.

I do love my cat and my loved ones but I can't remember the last time I was truly happy or even just not miserable and disappointed to still be alive when I wake up in the morning. I built a (good) life thinking one day "I would be better" and il enjoy it one day so I should act like it but the reality is I built a prison where Iv got responsibilities to others (especially the ramifications of losing me) because I allowed them to know me and love me. I love them too it would be terribly unfair to then suddenly say fuck you im off Iv never ever been happy anyway!

It's weird to think that after we are gone the world will go on without us. I have been thinking about that a lot recently now that I am middle aged. I am not religious so I think we are born and die and there is no pre life or afterlife. We will be no more so all the stuff we accumulate, all goals, they are ultimately for no reason. If you have kids I guess you think that you have left something meaningful behind but you are still dead and gone. Everything has a season.

So in answer to your question, there is no reason to live to me. You just keep on putting one foot in front of the other because what's the alternative? I take pleasure in small things - travel, nature, books, art - but I don't have kids to live for. On a day to day basis I am happy enough, I am quite chipper and upbeat. I just live because unless I kill myself what else can you do. I would like an opt out, an easy way to end my life when I have had enough. But I am not there yet.

I clicked on this because my dad died and my 80 year old mother is feeling like I'm her only reason to live...which is kind of stressful....! so I'm watching with interest. Alas, she has no desire to get a cat or dog.

The fact that I'm alive full stop and making the best of it.

I've had anxiety and depression my whole life and in late teens earky 20`s attempted suicide numerous times. 7 years ago I became very depressed and just wanted to go to sleep and never wake up. I really struggled with feeling like I didn't have a sense of purpose, despite having two beautiful dc. If anything I resented the fact that they needed me otherwise I would have ended it. I carried on like this for 4 years until I finally got the medication and therapy that I needed.

So, after 18 months of DBT life is amazing. I still find it hard at times. I'm autistic, have a limited capacity for work and will always be financially dependant on benefits, but I no longer feel the need for a sense of purpose as just 'being' is reason enough. There is so much beauty in the world and I make it my purpose to notice it. Anything from the family of sparrows that live in the garden (they're hilarious, it's like watching a soap opera ) to the sound of my youngest's laugh as his brother tickles him.

Realising that I am able to change many things in life if I so choose, and accept the things I can't change has had a huge effect. I was quite 'helpless and hopeless' before I accessed the MH services.

My son and my family.

My kids. I'm blessed to have two.

My job. I love it and it gives me purpose. There are hard times but then you get little wins and you feel you have truly made a difference in someone's life. That's my purpose, to make life a little bit better for others. I never wanted it but it found me and as cheesy as it sounds it has made me a better person.

Fear of suicide going wrong
Fear of life after death and the uncertainty.

Fascinating answers here, and I wish I could send a hug to all those who have had / are having the very dark times.
I would like to say my DC give me reason, but they don't - in fact, possibly the opposite. My youngest already shows signs of inheriting my family's depressive history and I'm terrified of him being miserable. I would feel hugely guilty if it turns out I brought someone into the universe just to be unhappy for years and then die. He's saying all the usual 'wish I hadn't been born' stuff and although I want to say positive inspiring things to him, I do think 'yeah you've got a point mate'.
If my kids were happy all the time and loved life, I think that would be plenty for me. But they're serious little creatures and pained by the darkness they see in the world.
oh dear, this has got more grim than I had intended.
Anyone else with happy thoughts to share? Goddamn I wish I knew how to be one of those 'always positive' people. How the F do you do it???