Newly vegan and fed up of ridicule from others

[townandcountrygirl]

I have been vegan for 7 months now and have really grown tired of OH's family / friends making irritating / derogatory comments about veganism and my healthy lifestyle. I have seen only positive changes since going vegan - I am in good shape, I am waking up earlier, my eye sight has improved and my energy levels have shot up considerably. I had been vegetarian for 12+ years and this is something I have always wanted to do.

My own friends and family are supportive. I have grown up in a household where I was encouraged to make my own decisions and stand up for what I believe in. My mother is a gluten-free nutritionist who grows her own veg and is very active / health conscious. My sister is also a vegetarian. I have meat-eating family members, but they treat my decisions with love and respect, even if they think I am a little 'different' because of it.

OH and I have been together for 6 years and have been friends for over 10 years (we grew up around the same home town). We are living together and have been spending a fair amount of time with his friends and family. I have received many negative comments about my diet, which I am not banging on about every 2 mins, I am merely ordering vegan options from restaurant menus or have been caught in the act juicing veggies.

OH's family are generally unhealthy, choosing convenient foods, alcohol, sugary treats and high-fat meals over anything remotely healthy. I often feel like the 'weird' one for having vegetables on my plate at all. My thought is that they are irritated by my healthy lifestyle because they are unable to stop their own poor lifestyle choices.

Has anyone else come up against criticism from people in this way? I bite my tongue and smile, knowing my diet does not affect them at all, but I am tired and disheartened by their constant snipes. I am a nice, loving person so keep telling myself that we are all entitled to our own decisions. It is just sad, because i'd never put another person down for their food choices, even if I didn't personally agree with it.

[edited by MNHQ at OP's request]

Youmadorwhat

Vegans are aware of this you know - the official definition of veganism is a way of living which seeks to exclude, as far as is possible and practicable, all forms of exploitation of, and cruelty to, animals for food, clothing or any other purpose.

Not meaning to speak on behalf of all vegans but the majority of us do our best to live by that, though of course there are exceptions just like I know Muslim people who like to drink and a Hindu who has a burger every now and then and a gluten free friend who can't turn down freshly baked bread. I don't tell them they're a bad Muslim, Hindu, or that being gluten free is pointless.

Vegans, like everyone else, slip up sometimes.

@townandcountrygirl there's a vegan section on here somewhere where you'll not get bitchy, ignorant comments. Vegan/veggie threads in AIBU always attract the wankers.

I've been veggie since 1990 and still get stick for it now from my family. I was vegan for a couple of years too. Now I do eat dairy but eggs make me feel sick so don't eat them unless in my homemade cakes for special occasions. I love tofu, gone off quorn as makes me bloated and lots contains egg. Well done for being vegan as it's really hard to start with and the negative crap you get from others makes it more so. Even if you don't mention being vegan they'll question you mercilessly on why you aren't eating meat or fish, laugh that gemstone is a no go and generally just show a lot of ignorance. Others will be interested and respectful. For me it's a bit like religion, you don't have to agree with my diet but please respect my choices as I respect yours.

BishopBrennansArse

They are in the fact that they are not a product of an animal (either the flesh of or a product of) however it comes under the same kind of grey area as palm oil and almonds, both of which many vegans strive to avoid because they recognise the environmental implications.

But in terms of labelling on a menu, avocado on toast is accurately labelled as vegan.

Ok thanks. This stuff is handy as I often cater for vegan friends.

To be honest I think people get a bit cross/frustrated/name your adjective with vegans because it's not an allergy, it's a lifestyle choice and then they can't eat anything, catering for them is a pain and finding a restaurant that does is a pain (and restaurants are so unimaginative with vegan and veggie food though it's getting better). It's being "special" and therefore a nuisance.

I bought chocolate for work colleagues at Christmas and went off to the "free from" aisle to find something for my vegan colleague. That wasn't hard work (though more expensive). But honestly I wouldn't want to cook for her - other than veggie soup and then I'd probably find the stock I use isn't vegan (though it's gluten free). It is really difficult and you have to believe in it to put yourself through it.

I'm not judgey in the sense I understand the reasons for being a vegan but I can understand that people find it incredibly difficult to cater for. Vegetarian is easier.

BishopBrennansArse

That's really good of you, I bet they really appreciate it. I always recommend Bosh (they do a cookbook and have a website) if it's something you're doing regularly as their recipes are really delicious and not too faffy.

I'm sure you cater fabulously, I just always recommend them as when I first stopped eating meat it took me a while to find some trusty recipes!

If you are looking for a special restaurant in London, my colleague recommends this one: www.vanillablack.co.uk/

it's a lifestyle choice and then they can't eat anything

With comments like this it’s amazing that the mortality rate of vegans isn’t 100% !

I can agree catering for a vegan may be hard @Satsumaeater but I don’t think that’s why people are so pissed off/rude about it at all.

To be fair I don't mind catering for vegans at all, I'm happy to use separate prep areas, cooking surfaces etc too. Absolutely not an issue. I only object to being lectured and/or hectored about my own choices which don't include cat, dog or guinea pig but equally I respect the fact in other societies it's commonplace. I've eaten horse knowingly, though.

But again my rl friends don't do this, they live and let live.

The thing that irritates me a bit about veganism is that it's such a privileged position to take. It's a choice that only people who don't experience real food poverty can make - which is fair enough - but couple with a holier than thou attitude from some vegans is a bit annoying. It's holier than middle class thou, really....

Yeah I get that...it’s just the fact that nearly every vegetarian I have ever met never knows all of that and rants on and on about the fact that they are vegetarian with a holier than thou attitude 🙄

Although one was pondering telling someone to switch to a vegan diet instead of chemotherapy and I had to almost superglue my lips shut. But I kept my gob shut.

Satsumaeater

It's true that veggie is easier but vegan is getting easier - M and S just brought out 60 new plant based products! Haven't tried any of them yet but excited to. Most chain restaurants have options too, even places like Nandos which you would think is an absolute no no.

You might not buy for her again I know but in case anyone else has the same situation many supermarket own brand after eights are vegan and mint crisp type things plus good quality dark chocolate usually is. I like the orange flavoured one. It's often cheaper than the free from stuff which they definitely mark up a bit

You sind judgemental maybe they can sense this?

i know some of them just get on with their veganism without preaching, but I haven't met a non preachy vegan yet.

How would you know ? If it’s a vegan that doesn’t really mention it ? Lots of people I know don’t know I’m vegan. And they probably say things like this ^

I'm a vegan and I've had nothing but love ams acceptance.

However the only time it comes up is when I'm ordering dinner in restaurants, and I order a vegan option. It's mentioned, in a '' yes I'm vegan'' kinda way then move on. I don't share ethical posts on Facebook, nor moan about others foods.

I’m shocked to see so much of this ‘holier than thou vegans’ stuff... I’ve honestly never met one vegan like this. & I live in Brighton! Not suggesting they don’t exist, but you’ll get fanatics about any life choice. I have met SO many people who bash vegans though, literally loads.

Saw the other day! @kimikoglenn tried the tikka masala.. really nice!

Youmadorwhat:

Your argument being that if you can't improve everything then you shouldn't try at all? Brilliant logic. I suppose I should stop my monthly donation to the Malaria Foundation because malaria ain't cured yet.

Whenever I'm approached by friends who want to become vegan or try to live a more eco-friendly lifestyle, I always tell them to take it one step at a time.
The reality is that society is not constructed in a way that is conducive to a vegan lifestyle or an eco-friendly one. People who are making these changes are often doing so at an inconvenience to themselves, and whilst I don't necessarily think they deserve a standing ovation for doing so, I do think it's petty and small minded of you to be constantly undermining them.

I'm sure I saw a video recently about Novak Djokovic and how he's no longer vegan. His performance bombed a couple of years ago, he started eating meat again, and he's coming back on form again.

FloatingthroughSpace

Totally agree it's a privilege, I didn't used to think this, I was all like 'but beans and rice are so cheap!' and I'll be honest, sometimes when people who are well within their means tell me their reason for not being vegan is the cost I'm a bit eye roll-y but for those on the poverty line it really is a factor and I understand that now.

I follow Jack Monroe who's a really great non-preachy vegan and her whole deal is about budget saving recipes (she does omnivore stuff too), she's the one who changed my mind set on this and Im glad she did.

But honestly I wouldn't want to cook for her - other than veggie soup and then I'd probably find the stock I use isn't vegan (though it's gluten free). It is really difficult and you have to believe in it to put yourself through it.

I'm an omnivore but regularly cook vegan dinners. I never feel that I'm 'putting myself through it'. It's piss-easy; even if you stick to just 'veggie soup' there are HUNDREDS of options. And many cuisines have tons of naturally vegan dishes –Indian, lots of South-East Asian food, Turkish/Mediterranean...

Oh and you can totally get vegan stock.

Well done for just being massively offensive to Jainists. Who dont eat those things i outlined for exactly the reason that it is killing living creatures and organisms.

Oh stop being so disingenuous, Your comment had absolutely nothing to do with Janists’ beliefs. You were having a dig at vegans, who you implied should do the same as Janists. If anything you were the one being offensive to Janists by using their beliefs to have a go at vegans.

I don't even mind people sharing vegan campaigning stuff on social media - it's not my place to mind, it's something they feel passionate about and I also share stuff I'm passionate about around politics and disability. It's when I share posts about it being so lovely to spend time with friends and family at a bbq and I get posts along the lines of 'how many animals died for that?' that pisses me off. Personally targeted stuff.