Newly vegan and fed up of ridicule from others

[townandcountrygirl]

I have been vegan for 7 months now and have really grown tired of OH's family / friends making irritating / derogatory comments about veganism and my healthy lifestyle. I have seen only positive changes since going vegan - I am in good shape, I am waking up earlier, my eye sight has improved and my energy levels have shot up considerably. I had been vegetarian for 12+ years and this is something I have always wanted to do.

My own friends and family are supportive. I have grown up in a household where I was encouraged to make my own decisions and stand up for what I believe in. My mother is a gluten-free nutritionist who grows her own veg and is very active / health conscious. My sister is also a vegetarian. I have meat-eating family members, but they treat my decisions with love and respect, even if they think I am a little 'different' because of it.

OH and I have been together for 6 years and have been friends for over 10 years (we grew up around the same home town). We are living together and have been spending a fair amount of time with his friends and family. I have received many negative comments about my diet, which I am not banging on about every 2 mins, I am merely ordering vegan options from restaurant menus or have been caught in the act juicing veggies.

OH's family are generally unhealthy, choosing convenient foods, alcohol, sugary treats and high-fat meals over anything remotely healthy. I often feel like the 'weird' one for having vegetables on my plate at all. My thought is that they are irritated by my healthy lifestyle because they are unable to stop their own poor lifestyle choices.

Has anyone else come up against criticism from people in this way? I bite my tongue and smile, knowing my diet does not affect them at all, but I am tired and disheartened by their constant snipes. I am a nice, loving person so keep telling myself that we are all entitled to our own decisions. It is just sad, because i'd never put another person down for their food choices, even if I didn't personally agree with it.

[edited by MNHQ at OP's request]

Sorry, that doesn’t make much sense, bad typing. But you get the gist.

I came across someone on FB a few weeks ago who describes themselves as "Vegan, though I do eat eggs and honey". Ahem.

I think you've made his family feel bad about their own food choices do they lash out at yours. Being a vegan is hardly unusual nowadays is it?

CarolineForbes it’s all very well talking about grass fed meat but there isn’t enough land in the world by a long way for the current demand for meat to be coming from grass fed stock.

No, but taking upland grasses out of production isn't the answer, it's the only way that land can be productive.

I wouldn't call yourself a vegan in front of anyone, it seems to be a curse word in our society (sadly) - maybe a dairy intoleratant veggie?
On the plus side, I've noticed a lot more restaurants/companies jumping on the vegan bandwagon lately so I like to think that in 5-10 years it'll be more mainstream.
I married into a farming family so would be extradited if I became officially vegan but I fully support it and make vegan choices where I can, I try to focus more on "ethical" choices and locally sourced meats if I can. One day I might take the plunge!!

I think a lot of omnivores hold vegans to a higher standard than they hold themselves for some reason. I get told off for having half an avocado a month by some people that eat industrially farmed meat 3 times a day - I have to just shrug off the comments otherwise you live in a perpetual state of justifying your own dietary choices and then being accused of preaching. I used to be one of those meat eaters that scowled at vegans, was such a dick. Now I just think, what does it matter to anyone else what I eat? I do my best to live what I believe but being perfectly cruelty free is impossible for anyone.

In real life I don't talk about it unless somebody asks me but on social media I do promote plant based products, recipes and restaurants - not because I imagine everyone will go vegan or that its even right for everyone, but because advocating reductionism is more readily received, and if it's not, theres always the unfollow button. Doesn't bother me.

You do have to just develop a thick skin OP, find yourself a good vegan tribe online or in the local area and go to them when you need to moral support. A colleague really upset me earlier in the year, ridiculing me from nowhere and drove me to tears, my vegan family were there for me and it really helped.

You do you, whatever your motivator is, for the animals, for the planet for your health - you know why. And it's really nobody else's business. Next time they bring it up I would just be like, 'How come you want to talk about veganism so much, its kind of boring isnt it? What are you doing at the weekend?'

Divert the conversation, its the easiest way.

I'm surrounded by very vocal, evangelical vegans at the moment, posting almost daily stuff from Peta and other animal rights groups about veganism. I know some of them just get on with their veganism without preaching, but I haven't met a non preachy vegan yet.

I think a lot of omnivores hold vegans to a higher standard than they hold themselves for some reason
It's because so many (not all) vegans act in a holier-than-thou way so obviously their inconsistencies are picked up on.

Papaya maybe you have met them but you just don’t know it because they’re not being preachy

Just say ‘ha ha yes’ and agree with them. It’s like pushing at an open door and they get bored of the game

I’m vegan and I never talk about why, certainly don’t preach. I’m no position as I’ve got the morals of a guttersnipe - I’d shag your husband soon as look at him.

I have spent long spells with ppl who call selves vegan & I totally forget they call selves vegan. It can be done in a very low key way.

It's because so many (not all) vegans act in a holier-than-thou way so obviously their inconsistencies are picked up on.

This.

Do they eat root vegetables? Knowing this has killed the plant they are eating?

What about the bacteria and microbes and micro organisms in the soil that are killed via farming or fruit growing pesticides etc? Animals and living creatures died in the process.

Soya yogurt with probiotics that are living things?

but I haven't met a non preachy vegan yet

Erm. How do you know? I see this type of comment quite a lot. The point is, if someone is a non preachy vegan, you’re not going to know, are you? Because they aren’t going to preach to you. 🤔

I have said that in the unlikely event that I decide to cut out all animal products, I will do my best to not tell anyone. I wouldn't call myself vegan, I'd just carry on doing what I want to do and work around hurdles as I come to them.

I think it's the 'vegan, vegan, vegan' chat that makes people feel a bit wearied of vegans. One of my friends seems to do nothing unless it's specifically vegan, such as being in a vegan running club (with hi-viz bibs that say VEGAN RUNNER, which is clearly different to OMNIVORE RUNNER) and a vegan book club (I'm not sure if the books or the members have to be vegan).

My favorite quote is “I don’t eat meat because I love animals” well if you drive a car, ride a bike wash your clothes using softener, use toothpaste, shampoo and conditioner, sit on a couch, watch/use fireworks, have wooden furniture or play a musical instrument then i am afraid to tell you that you are in fact using animal products 👍🤣

I’m going vegan too OP and I’m just not going to mention it! I have lost weight and need to shift some more so I’m sure I can mask it for a good while as diet food if anyone asks

SustainableMeat

Do you know that every single meat product you consume is produced sustainably? Even when you eat out at restaurants? When you pick up a sandwich on the go? If you do, I commend you, that genuinely is really impressive and I think provenance of food is something we could all have a better understanding of. But jumping on somebody else's failings doesn't make anyone a better person. You can only do the best you can to do right.

I agree sanctimonious people in any area of life are infuriating but people get too het up about these things. You may think its hypocritical for a vegan to drink a wine that isn't vegan, I think its hypocritical when people decry Yulin but participate in our turkey equivalent every Christmas. It's just a Eurocentric value.

At the end of the day, it doesn't matter what I think about your diet. You do you, I'll do me. Thats the attitude we need to promote on both sides with greater emphasis on quality and provenance for everyone.

Oh haha thumbs up @Youmadorwhat a vegetarian/vegan can only do so much why ridicule them? Oh you don’t eat meat or dairy products? Oh but do you brush your teeth? Hahaha! It’s got animal in it! Idiot! that’s what it looks like to just hate veggies/vegans for no reason other than it doesn’t suit you.

Each to their own. As long as that works both ways - I cannot stand sanctimonious people lecturing me on what to eat. That has happened, by the way. Generally it's not omnivores that do it, either.

Oh dear god MrsAndrewEldritch, you really are getting ridiculous now! Do you eat dog or cat? If not, why not? Sure it’s only meat? It’s just an animal, put on earth for us to use as we see fit. If you don’t eat dog or cat, then you’re really not saying that eating meat is not a big deal. See I know that’s ridiculous, but no more ridiculous than your nonsense.

At the end of the day, it doesn't matter what I think about your diet. You do you, I'll do me. Thats the attitude we need to promote on both sides with greater emphasis on quality and provenance for everyone.

Yep ^

Oh and my previous comment from the top of my head I know 7 vegans and none of them preach at me. Tons online do and that's so boring.

@kimikoglenn genuinely not a snark I promise but I didn't think avocados were vegan? Along with figs iirc

Oh dear godMrsAndrewEldritch, you really are getting ridiculous now! Do you eat dog or cat? If not, why not? Sure it’s only meat? It’s just an animal, put on earth for us to use as we see fit. If you don’t eat dog or cat, then you’re really not saying that eating meat is not a big deal. See I know that’s ridiculous, but no more ridiculous than your nonsense.

Well done for just being massively offensive to Jainists. Who dont eat those things i outlined for exactly the reason that it is killing living creatures and organisms...

Person 1:
Please don’t hurt that dog, he doesn’t want to be hurt.
Person 2: That’s fair enough
Person 1: Please don’t hurt that pig/cow, he doesn’t want to be hurt.
Person 2: don’t tell me what to do, you preachy fuck!

Literally my life as a vegetarian.