Newly vegan and fed up of ridicule from others

[townandcountrygirl]

I have been vegan for 7 months now and have really grown tired of OH's family / friends making irritating / derogatory comments about veganism and my healthy lifestyle. I have seen only positive changes since going vegan - I am in good shape, I am waking up earlier, my eye sight has improved and my energy levels have shot up considerably. I had been vegetarian for 12+ years and this is something I have always wanted to do.

My own friends and family are supportive. I have grown up in a household where I was encouraged to make my own decisions and stand up for what I believe in. My mother is a gluten-free nutritionist who grows her own veg and is very active / health conscious. My sister is also a vegetarian. I have meat-eating family members, but they treat my decisions with love and respect, even if they think I am a little 'different' because of it.

OH and I have been together for 6 years and have been friends for over 10 years (we grew up around the same home town). We are living together and have been spending a fair amount of time with his friends and family. I have received many negative comments about my diet, which I am not banging on about every 2 mins, I am merely ordering vegan options from restaurant menus or have been caught in the act juicing veggies.

OH's family are generally unhealthy, choosing convenient foods, alcohol, sugary treats and high-fat meals over anything remotely healthy. I often feel like the 'weird' one for having vegetables on my plate at all. My thought is that they are irritated by my healthy lifestyle because they are unable to stop their own poor lifestyle choices.

Has anyone else come up against criticism from people in this way? I bite my tongue and smile, knowing my diet does not affect them at all, but I am tired and disheartened by their constant snipes. I am a nice, loving person so keep telling myself that we are all entitled to our own decisions. It is just sad, because i'd never put another person down for their food choices, even if I didn't personally agree with it.

[edited by MNHQ at OP's request]

"Maybe this makes me the target as people want to get a rise out of me? They won't, but maybe some people (generally speaking) like to see the quiet, sensible person bite back once in a while?"

You genuinely think you're targeted because you're quiet and sensible? I'd get some new friends tbh.

I have no problem with those who make the choice of a vegan lifestyle.

I do, however, have a major issue with those who think that in an ideal world we'd all be doing it and get preachy. Vegans need protein and currently it comes from sources that aren't always sustainable - clearing rainforests to make way for soya for instance. Vegans, instead of eating grass-reared meat and produce, importing many foods which are actually staples in poor countries, which hikes up the cost to locals.

In the UK much meat comes from upland grasslands where it isn't possible to grow crops for human consumption - livestock convert grass into nutritious protein. If we all went vegan we'd effectively restrict the area of the planet available for food production at a point where we already have a global challenge feeding people but in the UK we wouldn't be the ones left starving.

I was vegan in the past and it turned me into a sanctimonious twat. I have no idea what happened to me, it really was like I’d joined a weird cult.

The only other vegans I’ve ever met have been the same as that. They all wear vegan T-shirt’s/hats and preach to anyone that will listen about it. I realise you think you don’t do the same but everyone knows you’re vegan so 🤷🏻‍♀️.

the orthorexia thing baffles me

I'm actually not vegan, but several friends and family members are, and the family goes back ages for being vegan and living till 90 (frankly that's enough to make me eat cheese, the idea of living till 90 fills me with horror).

I run and have weights at home now rather than use a gym, but the healthiest folks at the gym always seemed to be vegan, long before it was fashionable. Maybe that's what went wrong - I've never known a vegan lecturing but perhaps there's a current thing of talking about it a lot and instagramming food etc (something that also baffles me).

clearing rainforests to make way for soya for instance

Most soya is grown for animal feed.

eyesight changes could be linked to vitamin A changes?
You just don't see vitamin A mentioned enough when vegan diet is discussed, research seems to demonstrate that a significant part of the population cannot convert the orange and yellow fruit and veg to vitamin A efficiently.
Some people meanwhile are super efficient converters and maybe by removing direct A sources from the diet the op has reduced an A excess, who knows.....
gtr.ukri.org/projects?ref=BB%2FG004056%2F1 "Do genetic polymorphisms in a beta-carotene metabolising key enzyme influence dietary Vitamin A requirements?"

It’s probably improved your eyesight because your vegetarian diet was bad and lacking in vitamin A and carotene containing fresh fruit and veg. A lot of vegetarians survive on meat free and cheese / dairy products!!

Your eyesight improved? Got any proper evidence of that? Eye test examinations before and after diet changes?

You sound like an idiot to be honest if you're going round telling people that. I'd laugh at you too if I was in your OHs family.

Most soya is grown for animal feed.

Negligible quantities of soya goes into grass-based livestock systems, e.g. Welsh lamb.

OP it’s unfortunately something you have to learn to ignore and it really is frustrating. Look how riled up PPs are. I wonder if they’d have reacted the same towards you if you said you’d gone teetotal and OHs heavy drinking family were being awful about it?
I think cognitive dissonance can be a reason some people immediately react when they hear someone’s vegan. There’s often a clash of values - I love animals and I’d never see them harmed but on the other hand I fund them being hurt and killed so I can eat their bodies.

@Cherries101 - dairy has far more bioavailable Vitamin A than carotenes do. Carotenes have to be converted by the body into Vitamin A
as per my above post, individual genetics are likely important in these processes and a large piece of the puzzle as to why become so very ill as vegan and others thrive

my eye sight is better is that due to eating more carrots?

I don’t care what people do or don’t eat as long as they don’t make a issue out of it, I have vegan friends that don’t go on about it, I have others that post all sorts of rubbish all over Facebook (I unfollow them). It’s your choice if you don’t eat meat but we don’t need to hear about it, why do you need to mention it unless some one invites you over for a dinner party?

STFU about it then.

Gosh vegans are boring - the rest of us just really, REALLY don't want to know.

Sustainable meat - it’s all very well talking about grass fed meat but there isn’t enough land in the world by a long way for the current demand for meat to be coming from grass fed stock. Hence why only approx 6% of soy grown is for human consumption. The vast manjority is for animal feed so it’s extremely disengenuous to pretend soy is somehow a vegan issue

I was feeling as though you had a point, until you starting venomously castigating your OH's family's diet. If you can think that about them, then they are perfectly welcome to consider your veganism to be an eating disorder. (I mainly think that's true in some teenage girls. In more mature people I find considering it to be a religion aids in tolerance of pain in the arse demands)

How can you be caught in the act of juicing veggies, what the hell else would you juice.

Of course soy is a vegan issue. Especially if vegan for animals welfare. Regardless of how much is grown for human consumption, it's damaging the planet.

Soy is in many food products - not just vegan food. And as I said the vast majority is for animal feed to feed livestock... for meat eaters. So if anything it’s a meat eater issue?

Gosh vegans are boring - the rest of us just really, REALLY don't want to know.

Gosh, everyone's provong the OP right by queueing up to stick the boot in now

No, soy is an everyone issue. Just like palm oil.

But you can't say you are vegan for animals welfare then eat a lot of shit that damages animals.

I'm a carnivore, and I still think vegan people are better than the rest of us.

What (kind) reason could you possibly have to want animals to suffer so you can eat/exploit them?

I just wish I had it in me to follow a vegan lifestyle.

‘My thought is that they are irritated by my healthy lifestyle because they are unable to stop their own poor lifestyle choices’ is probably the issue.

Its because they are ignorant, just say I'd rather be a vegan than like Jim Royale/Vicki Pollard etc like your family.

@townandcountrygirl try just ignore them. It's one of those topics people see your choice as a criticism of themselves. The opposite end of the spectrum are those obsessed telling you they are practically vegan/vegetarian themselves....as only eat chicken and turkey hehe I think I people sometimes just feel the need to talk about it and I'll never understand why!

Notaclue - I agree it’s an everyone issue. I do however stand by my point that it was a deceptive of a PP to suggest that rainforests are being cleared for vegan food though.