To cancel the first date?

[onlinedating123]

I’ve been chatting to a man on OLD for over a week, we have a date arranged for this evening.

He seems like a lovely man, he has had one long standing relationship that last for 7 years. We have a lot of similar interests and outlooks on life, wanting to settle down, both enjoy the same hobbies.

He has a good career - used to be a paramedic, now works as a carpenter - but he left school at age 11. I didn’t pry and ask why. Then he told me he has no contact with his parents. Again, I didn’t pry and ask why. I suspect the two might be connected though.

AIBU to see these as red flags? Especially the leaving school at 11. We are both early 30s so not really of a generation that could/would leave education at that age. I also have 2 DC. I am not sure whether to cancel or just to ask him about it tonight and see what he says.

Exactly. A few things he said on the date rang alarm bells too such as:

• He was banned from seeing his exes mother as she hated him for ‘no reason’.

• The first sibling that was taken into care reached out to him, then when NC for ‘no reason’.

• Nit picky and will make me sound like a pretentious dick, but I mentioned I wanted to go to the Deep South of Ameria, and he asked where that was.

back to swiping...

America

Sounds like you dodged a bullet there!

OLD is great in my opinion, I met my husband online. You do need your BS detector on high though!

Dodged a bullet, doesn’t sound compatible.

Always remember you have zero obligation towards potential dates. You don’t ever have to ‘give them a chance’ because they had something shit happen to them.

With you all the way OP - onwards and upwards! (And I did ask for surnames when I was on OLD - meant I could check they at least have a correct name, and if God forbid the worst had happened my date mate would have only had a first name to have given to the police - not much hope there then!).

You went, you saw and clearly dodged a bullet.

Onwards and upwards OP

Well done op, good luck with your search

Not pretentious at all... although me and DH just had a debate if you meant deep South America like Peru or deep south of America like Alabama

I remember one date where the guy ordered himself a hot chocolate and cream.... he got a break moustache... so embarrassing... he was generally odd so I did a sly text to my get out person so ring with an emergency.

- He was banned from seeing his exes mother as she hated him for ‘no reason’.

Red flag.

- The first sibling that was taken into care reached out to him, then when NC for ‘no reason’.

Red flag. And worrying that at least two unrelated people would dislike him 'for no reason'.

- Nit picky and will make me sound like a pretentious dick, but I mentioned I wanted to go to the Deep South of Ameria, and he asked where that was.

The unfortunate consequences of leaving school at 11.

And yes, the lie about his work history is a red flag too. Nothing wrong with carpentry so why tell lies?

back to swiping...

I hope the next one is a catch - and shares your dream of seeing the American South!

I'm always wary of men who have many people who don't like them / have gone NC for no reason or because they (the other person) is at fault

Imalittleelf

I meant the southern states of America

Yes a big warning sign that all these people have gone NC with him for ‘no reason’. I have a very colourful and unbelievable past, but this just didn’t sit right with me

Oh well! Onwards and upwards, Hopefully!