Bit too harsh... I'm gutted.

[HarleyQuinnxx]

So me n DH have had a great few weeks I do have a few health issues and yes I have gained about 1.5 stone in weight but after my surgeries I can and will lose the weight I have gained. I've decided last couple of days to eat a bit less and cut out the crappy bits and snacks. Anyway messing about usual evening routine I say just general "oh I'd love a nobbly bobbly or mini magnum" and hubby looks at me up n down and says "look if I have to do dry January you can try and stop being a fat mess" I am really hurt he has never said something like this he knows the problems I'm having. So I had a silent huff about and he has said sorry but now I'm so hurt inside as it must be how he sees me.

That's a fucking awful thing to say, I couldn't forgive that

That’s really mean because it’s personal and so rude.

He really needs to make amends.

He’s an arsehole - that was a shitty thing to say!

That is a horrible, horrible thing to say. :(

Sorry but that's unforgivable op in any circumstances, but particularly as you have had health issues.

Dh called me lazy the other day.
Haven't quite decided how to handle it yet so watching with interest...

I would be devastated if my husband had said that.
But I think it might depend on the context of your relationship- do you usually joke about appearances etc? If so, he might have misjudged it, but if not, that is really pretty unpleasant and I would find it hard to forgive and forget, personally.

I would be gutted too, your partner should never speak to you like that. I would make it clear to him that he's upset you. Don't let this one go, he doesn't need to think it's acceptable to say things like that.

I’d be heartbroken 😞

That’s terrible. I think you should talk to him about how his words have meaning, and he really hurt you with that comment.

So he's he pin-up is he?

Arse

Dreadful thing to say. My dh is overweight but i would never say anything so horrid. I just try and be supportive.

Fucking hell that's a terrible thing to say to someone.
If DP said that to me it would take a long, long time until I forgave him- if I could at all.

I’m extremely overweight. My husband has NEVER called me fat or insulted my weight, even when I put myself down.

I’d be devastated and not sure how I’d move past it to be honest.

That is fucking horrible. My DP once told me I should go to the gym because my body “could look better”. I thought that was bad! I barely spoke to him for a day or two and was so hurt I didn’t get naked in front of him for ages.
I told him he should never comment on my body unless it was to say something positive.
Your DP has been plain nasty. I’m not sure what he can do or say to salvage this.

That's a horrible thing to say.

I’m sorry Op no wonder your feeling upset this would totally devastate me as I’m super sensitive about my weight. Nothing helpful to say but instead

What a cunt.

I'm going to go and find my boyfriend where ever he is in the house and tell him what a lovely partner he is.

Every time I come on Mumsnet I'm appalled at the bastards some women are married to.

"I can lose the weight but you can't grow a bigger penis or a heart you cruel bastard!!!"

YANBU that's a really hurtful thing to say and a nasty way to say it.

He called you FAT and a MESS, that’s ugly cruel and PERSONAL, not anything or remotely on a level with DRY fucking January?! WTF

Damn that was a cruel thing to say. No wonder your hurt, anyone would be.

What does he mean by he has to do dry January?

We do mess about and joke. Nd he did say sorry when he realised I was an genuinely upset at the comment. It's just the thought that he must think it deep down sub consciencely. Like I said I am awaiting 3 surgeries 5 of my 8 medications say weight gain. Why look me up and down and say fat mess why mess I still try with my appearance nice make up etc. I don't think I'm huge I've gone from a 12 to a 16/18

So cruel. I would honestly consider if I wanted to be with someone like that.