Bit too harsh... I'm gutted.

[HarleyQuinnxx]

So me n DH have had a great few weeks I do have a few health issues and yes I have gained about 1.5 stone in weight but after my surgeries I can and will lose the weight I have gained. I've decided last couple of days to eat a bit less and cut out the crappy bits and snacks. Anyway messing about usual evening routine I say just general "oh I'd love a nobbly bobbly or mini magnum" and hubby looks at me up n down and says "look if I have to do dry January you can try and stop being a fat mess" I am really hurt he has never said something like this he knows the problems I'm having. So I had a silent huff about and he has said sorry but now I'm so hurt inside as it must be how he sees me.

That's so unnecessary and hurtful. Hope you're ok?

Good morning mumsnetters omg no he doesn't give away £50 every time he has a drink its not a game. It's a charity thing our family are going for Macmillan if the men fail on the dry January they are out and donate the £50 it's just something we are doing the last man standing gets to give the donation and keep their hair please don't judge when you don't know all our lives.
I'm still upset slightly by the remark I did eat my nobbly bobbly in the end you know what I had 2 DH has said sorry repeatedly. As I said before we do have a fun relationship where we do take the piss out of each other playfully but never personally I am very poorly I do have some serious health issues and serious surgeries coming up.
Oh well mums net. Let's all eat nobbly bobbly let's get them sold out haha

If you have a relationship where you tease each other, then perhaps he didn't realise his comment would hit a mark...

My DH has, in the past, started to tease me about something which he didn't have any strong feelings about but which he thought would be funny, without realising that he'd picked something I was sensitive about.

For example, like many women, I have a facial hair problem, which I was extensively bullied about at school. As a result, I was very careful to keep on top of it and in the early days of our relationship he had no idea.

Until the day he decided it would be funny to pretend he could see my mustache.

I didn't have a mustache at the time, but only because I waxed! DH didn't know women could actually grow facial hair and thought we only ever got fluff, and thought calling fluff an actual mustache was so ridiculous that I would obviously know he was joking and didn't mean it.

I didn't realise he was joking at first and was mortified - I was in floods of tears, hiding under the duvet, telling him to fuck off out of the room so I could get my waxing kit out in private and sort it out, although I didn't tell him that - just shouted "Just fuck off!" through my tears from under the covers.

He was baffled by my extreme over-reaction...

Sorry OP but nothing you've said in your last post excuses his extreme vileness. Nothing.

But, you've 'made it OK' and that is your prerogative. I'm sorry for you being married to such a spiteful man. I hope you're right and that it was a one-off because I don't think you're ever going to forget what he said.

I’d lose weight then leave him. It’s a really nasty thing to say to someone who is not happy with their weight and also has surgeries and medication issues. He’s your husband and should act in a loving and supportive way. Calling someone a “fat mess” is the opposite of that.

I reckon OP will be back with more stories of his hilarious sense of humour once she starts to go through the process of surgery and recovery when things aren't quite as he wants them

That's disgusting. I would seriously consider the future of your relationship. I m 4 stone overweight and my DH can be a complete twat at times but he has never ever called me fat. Seriously that comment is unforgivable in my eyes.

He sounds lovely.