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AIBU?

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Original poster

Is it normal to fancy your BIL?

138 replies

queenqueenqueen · 01/01/2019 01:12

Just that really, sorry no drip feed here! Love my hubby and have 2 beautiful DC - perfect life really! My Brother in Law has been over from USA for the holidays and I feel like I fancy him. Its so weird, am I normal?? He's like my DH in alot of ways bit also different. Nothing will EVER happen but feel attracted to him. I'm beating myself up??!! 🤔🙈😲😔

OP posts:
Haisuli · 01/01/2019 09:43

No. Not my husband's brother nor my sister's husband. They're both like brothers to me. My fil died 10 years ago and my mil remarried his brother, so we have experience of this in our family too.

AnyFucker · 01/01/2019 10:27

It's just a daft (hopefully safe) crush. Forget it.

riotlady · 01/01/2019 10:48

My ex boyfriend had a really hot sister who I had a bit of a crush on. He was a knob though, so that relationship was always doomed

BoringSoupBeforeTheTurkeyFeast · 01/01/2019 10:55

No, just no. Don’t go there.

He goes to the loo to have a dump, just like your dh, and it won’t smell any better.

(After conjuring up an image of my dbil, my brain needs bleaching.
Bloated know it all, passive aggressive dressed up as ‘being friendly’, his preference in music superior to everybody else’s, ‘forgetting’ that it’s just his preference, not fact. Dickhead).

So, no.

UbbesPonytail · 01/01/2019 11:03

I’ve known BIL since he was 16 so no. He really is like a little brother to me.

My sister’s husband and SIL’s partner are both lovely men. I don’t fancy them but there have been occasional, wistful moments of ‘cant you be more like x or y’

Tattybear16 · 01/01/2019 11:06

No not my ex bil, not even if I’d been drunk, he’s a bigger twat than my exh.

HildaZelda · 01/01/2019 11:09

My BIL is a massive and utter cunt. DH definitely has nothing to worry about on that score.

areyoubeingserviced · 01/01/2019 12:07

Nope

Woooman · 01/01/2019 12:11

Eurgh no. My BIL is a drab, dreary, uptight control freak.

My other BIL is very attractive and funny but nope, don't fancy him either.

Butteredghost · 01/01/2019 23:27

Oh gosh no! My BIL is lovely and I couldn't have a better one but attraction wise yuck he's like my own brother. Also he seems much to old even though he's the younger brother of the family. I guess my DH is immature or something.

But Ive had plenty of other inappropriate crushes in my life so I feel you OP.

ZenNudist · 01/01/2019 23:30

Ew. Many shades of wrong. How do you feel if your DH fancied your sister ? Or your mum! Envy (not envy)

Pachyderm1 · 01/01/2019 23:32

If he’s like your DH I can understand why. He has the qualities you clearly find attractive, but because you don’t see him much there is also novelty. I can see how it would happen.

Just don’t indulge the feeling and it will go away on its own!

Lomondstripe · 01/01/2019 23:34

Not sure what’s funnier ‘fruit pastel’ or ‘Fidel Castro’. OP, if he’s similar to your husband, it’s makes sense you’d be attracted. Don’t beat yourself up - I bet if he was around all the time instead of so infrequently the shine would soon wear off!

WanderingTrolley1 · 01/01/2019 23:37

You can’t help who you fancy...

hippoherostandinghere · 01/01/2019 23:51

I only have one but seriously, never in a month of sundays. He is the biggest know it all you have ever had the bad fortune to meet.

MsTSwift · 01/01/2019 23:58

Ewww. Absolutely not but dh younger possibly brother the least sexy person I have ever met he even does a baby voice with his mother boak.

Met a woman once who had two sons one from each brother. She seemed quite normal but the mind boggled. Must have been an interesting conversation telling her mil about the second pregnancy.

Notso · 02/01/2019 00:05

I knew one of my BILs years before I met DH, and have kissed him and more Blush
It was a mistake at the time although he was good looking back then he was a bit of an egotistical prick, he hasn't aged well and his personality certainly hasn't improved. Although all considering we get on well enough.

Drogosnextwife · 02/01/2019 00:06

Erm... no. Practically incest. Ugh

Hmm no I don't think it is Hmm

Drogosnextwife · 02/01/2019 00:11

Jeezo some people on here need to take the poles out their arse. OP already said she would NEVER act on it.

I don't think it's weird at all, you can't help who you are attracted too.

MammonRouge · 02/01/2019 00:15

No he's an utter cunt and is a double of cuntish fil!

chillpizza · 02/01/2019 00:25

Yes and no. Current bil no no no. Ex’s however well that was a shag or two for the road like a goodbye I’m leaving you by the way... fuck you thing.

Lomondstripe · 02/01/2019 00:35

I know of similar but it must be outing to admit - surely not common! 2 sisters one man, 2 kids same age. One sister still with him, both sisters still friends!

DeathyMcDeathStarFace · 02/01/2019 00:47

Ha, my dh is an identical twin, so my BIL looks ... identical to him. They are also similar in other respects but so, so different in others.

I don't fancy him.

(BIL also seemed to be affected by mid-life a bit earlier than dh though. He started losing his hair and putting weight on quite a few years ago, dh only started things like that more recently (40s) so dh looks younger than BIL. Smile)

You may have just noticed some nice, appealing things about your BIL and have a bit of temporary lust feelings for him, as long as you stick to your rule about not acting on it, you should be ok.

TheDarkPassenger · 02/01/2019 00:51

I only have a SIL but she looks like my partner with a wig on so nah, I wouldn’t go there.

She’s also a massive cunt which doesn’t exactly make my legs quiver

HappyBumbleBee · 02/01/2019 00:52

Harrykanesrightsock
No. Just no. He is my FIL reincarnated. Just no
⬆️This⬆️
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂