If you tell them the restaurant that your child has a dairy allergy don't complain when they won't serve the child dairy!

[Cwtches123]

Relative is a chef currently working at a restaurant at family resort in the UK. He is always happy to cater to allergies but is getting increasingly frustrated by those who make a huge fuss about ordering a special main and then deciding to order a dessert full of the allergen!
Last week a family made a huge fuss that everything had to be dairy free for their child, no problem, all dishes dairy free, then they said child wanted the same dessert as sibling as it looked nice. Siblings dessert was full of dairy, parents insisted this would be ok (after previously stated child had severe dairy allergy) restaurant manager refused to serve it.
People like this give genuine allergy sufferers a bad name, I'm glad the restaurant called their bluff!
Parents were furious that the restaurant would not serve dairy to the child they had said had a severe dairy allergy!!!!

And to think I feel bad when I'm given a drink with a lime wedge in it and am forced to hand it back, lest my tongue swell up...

I have oral allergy syndrome and there is a list of foods I can't eat as long as my arm, and politely enquiring if a certain item on the menu contains it is enough, don't have to make a huge fuss over it.

I'm not exactly sure what mine are classed as. I have an intolerance of uncooked onion but am perfectly fine with cooked; even the juice where it has been picked off something will give me massive stomach cramps within half an hour.

I say that I am allergic to metronidazole so the dentist can only give me penicillin. One course had me feeling like the worst flu ever, shivering, purple blotches, vomiting, increased asthma, etc. A week later my ankles swelled up like balloons which after investigation was determined to be part of the same thing. Between anti-emetics, steroids for my lungs, replacement antibiotics, and some others I can't remember, I rattled. Is that allergy or intolerance? It was vile and I really don't want to feel that bad again.

Ohhh don’t get me started. I work in a early years nursery and we had a little boy who from baby room wasn’t allowed dairy, gluten or soya I believe. Our poor chef for years catered to his needs. Then one year when he was 3 at our summer sports day. Mum and dad we’re feeding him EVERYTHING! not even in moderation either. We had a plate especially for him containing all his free from foods and after that dad just walked around taking food from the table and giving it to him! We couldn’t believe it. But mum still insisted on him keeping his allergies at nursery. She even admitted to us that they don’t bother with the allergy stuff at home or on holiday as it too much of a faff.
In all honesty I felt sorry for him, as he didn’t have the allergy and his food was never as nice tasting as the others, due to the limitations.

I don't blame the restaurant ! If they are told the person has a severe allergy and provide an allergy free meal then the person eats by choice , a dessert that contains allergens and has a reaction ? The restaurant could be leaving themselves open to being sued !

That's insane and incredibly irresponsible of the parents, would even class it as neglect. With my children they have severe eczema outbreaks as do I, in my case it also flairs up my asthma. I would never dream in a million years to knowingly exposing them to a dairy allergy reaction. When they are adults they can choose themselves to have something they aren't supposed to and deal with the reaction. I have on many occasions thought about risking it myself (I really miss chocolate) and then taking pirititon to combat the reaction, which tends to make me very sleepy but I would never even dream of doing this with my kids and inflicting all that suffering.

I haven't actually risked it on me though as I soon realize it's just not worth feeling ill

As a primary teacher, I’ve come across a number of children who use the word ‘allergic’ to describe something they dislike eating, touching or seeing.

I experienced this as a secondary school teacher in charge of residential trips. Several students would claim allergies, but then, later on, would happily help themselves to something containing the allergen when it suited them, with a sheepish grin. GGGGRRRRRR!

I think some people just enjoy making others jump through hoops on their say-so.

I've been this mum kind of. My son has multiple anaphylactic and IgE allergies his first ana reaction was to milk at 6 months it was extremely scary and he's had epi pens ever since. When milk or even egg is cooked the proteins change so a lot of people can handle the allergen in baked form. My son was trialled with baked milk at the hospital and passed he can now tolerate cakes and pancakes and has to eat them at least 3 times a week to keep up his tolerance, we're trialling it in potato products like croquettes. If eating out we need to check for multiple allergens and if asked we will explain his main meal must be dairy free (we usually just ask for the allergy book rather than expecting the server to arrange the meal to make it easier for everyone) although I may order him a cake for dessert as I know he's safe for that stage of the milk ladder it doesn't make less cooked milk any less life threatening for him!

Something can either be eaten or it can't.

Not quite as easy as that.
A Friend's ds is allergic to dairy, egg and various other allergens, and is anaphylactic, and needs to carry an Epipen everywhere, to some products.
However he can now tolerate some dairy in some forms, with minimal reaction. So actually he will sometimes have a small ice cream or some chocolate, which he can generally tolerate these days and, as a teen, can recognise his own beginning symptoms quickly and stop if he feels it's too much. He can't tolerate the same dairy in other foods though. It really isn't a case of can't be eaten or can all the time.
His is all being worked through with the allergy clinics and there are times when he is trying some items in small doses, as allergies aren't always a static thing. It does vary.

Years ago my DMum decided (no medical tests were done to prove otherwise) that she couldn't have dairy.
She asked me to make her a birthday cake (sponge) which I did with dairy free spread(It's 'ok' but not as nice as butter , crumbly and doesnt last as well) usually I would do carrot cake with no frosting (uses oil)

So we go for a meal, she has pudding with ice-cream , I asked about the milk content , she says "Oh, I just eat a cooking apple raw , it helps"

So why not let me do the cake without the palaver and eat the bloody cooking apple

It is an interesting one, there are definitely some who do a weird faking it thing - no idea why!! But there are some weird variances with intolerances. I'm intolerant to raw tomatoes, Always have been, bizarrely they give me a rotten stomach. Think 24 hour stomach bug symptoms. I never say I'm allergic in a restaurant, but will say I don't like them so any chance I can have the salad without tomatoes. If I can't, I will order something else. Ketchup has no affect on me at all.

I am finding I am becoming more intolerant to more foods as I'm getting older.... under investigation at the moment.. but I'm definitely not allergic.

@2019yet I'm exactly the same! I have had people telling me for years that I must be lying or imagining things when I tell them that raw or very lightly cooked tomatoes mean projectile vomiting near enough immediately, well cooked tomato or decent quality puree etc gives me a gyp tummy for a few days, but ketchup is fine. My father tried to tell me I was trying it on when I was a child & made me eat lightly fried tomatoes once at a B&B - took him hours to clean the dining room up .

Apparently I'm the only person in the world with a problem with tomatoes, and that ALL allergies are black & white .

Omg even on this thread there are people who don't understbabd the difference between allergy and intolerant!

I'm intolerant to ginger, I won't put it in my cooking nor will my family. However my favourite food is Asian so I will always check ingredients as I'll shit myseld/ throw up/ be generally unwell.

I witnessed this on a cruise. Woman made a huge fuss about being gluten free and complained very loudly that there was never enough choice. Then had cheese and regular digestive biscuits after every meal

I have known someone for years who has a 7 year old and an 8 year old. She has insisted from birth that they were dairy allergic. The gps provided special milk costing the nhs hundreds of pounds, now this would be totally acceptable but as soon as she started weaning she gave the younger one foods that contained dairy, as the child got older a massive fuss was made with the pre school and then reception etc how important it was to make sure the little girl was completely dairy free. On several occasions the little girl was seen By close family and friends to be eating foods high in dairy products with no ill effects at all. Several years later, her mother realised that she was claiming that her child was severely allergic and was claiming DLA for her. I found this really upsetting doing something like that to get extra money.

I do wish the allergy book was more comprehensive - as soneone who's lactose intolerant, it's absolutely frustrating to have to refuse lots of really nice looking things that probably don't even have lactose in, because the only information I can get is "it's not dairy-free". I would have thought that, someone, somewhere, would know the ingredients to a dish, and be able to note them down, but apparently this is beyond the wit of man. Presumably it just materialised in the kitchen with a list of allergens and no other information.

I am confused surely a non-IgE allergy is not an allergy but just an intolerance. Does a non-IgE allergy ever lead to anaphylactic shock?

My children all had severe intolerance when they were young, causing bleeding from the acid pooped out, screaming in pain (too young for them to know what was going on, being managed by a dietitian to work out their intolerance.) It meant that going out for a family meal was a nightmare, but I would never say they had an allergy as it blatantly was not true. They had severe intolerance and I would never give them a "treat" of what they were intolerant to as it would be no treat later for them.

Each of the children reacted at different timescales and severity to MSG, so we have always been very careful with avoiding foods with added MSG. The oldest child reacts within 15 minutes with stomach pain and depending on the amount consumed either vomiting or acidic diarrhea or both...., the next child does not react til the next day, and gets stomach pain and diarrhea, the youngest child does not react til two days after eating it and just gets a mild stomach discomfort and diarrhea. All three will vomit within hours if they consume a significant amount of MSG.

So one family meal out where we have been inadvertently given added MSG and we have three days of fun, it did help us eliminate restaurants from possible places to go! It got to the point where we knew that the only "safe" place we could eat out as a family was McDonald's, as their allergy lists were most accurate, not the most healthy option.

When I was in primary school I remember the school dinner ladies getting fed up with children being fussy and not eating the rice pudding option when other options ran out. I told them I could not eat the milk (never drank the milk bottles!), they did not believe me and stood over me while making me eat it. The result was inevitable, I threw up all over the table. !!! The only time my whole life I have ever been able to drink milk is while pregnant, otherwise it rebounds nicely. I wish I could "treat" myself to a cool glass of milk sometimes, but would never inflict it on myself.

As much as I understand that some allergies are not as straightforward and one can eat something cooked certain way but not the other, people should understand that if you tell restaurant you have an allergy and later order something with an allergen in it, the restaurant owner actually risks a prison by giving it to you. Giving someone an allergen when knowing about the allergy can amount to fines, closure of business and actual manslaughter charges.

Unfortunately some people are idiots, no other way to say it, and we can't risk guessing game of "Do they really know or are they the type which is surprised at cheese in mozzarella sticks?".

@oftenhangry I didn't know that. Is it still the same if I tell them I have an intolerance and then order dairy?

(eg, butter, which doesn't contain any significant amount of the thing I'm intolerant to)

There are people with genuine allergies to things but there are also people who say they can't eat this that whatever when there's no need for it. All of a sudden so many people can't eat this or that. It's like the latest diet craze. I work in a restaurant and get people asking for certain things just for the sake of it. Or people who moan that there isn't much choice when places do their best to cater for people. How did people manage before? Annoys the hell out of me when there are people who actually are allergic

I think the reason some people use the terms intolerant and allergic almost interchangeably is that if you say intolerant many people don't understand what you mean - at least if you say allergic then they are less likely to assume you mean dislike, or "can make me feel vaguely off colour for a bit".

Then of course there's the question of where do you draw the line between an allergy and an intolerance? I THINK I have an intolerance to tomato rather than an allergy, but the fact that depending on the state of the tomato I may react immediately does muddy the assessment. I have an intolerance to artificial sweeteners, but as well as bowel problems I also get headaches and joint pain with sometimes dizziness as well, so its affecting other organs. You can't really say it is the severity that determines the difference, as various non-food allergies like hayfever can be comparatively mild.

Perhaps they are doing the dairy ladder? We had a meal out recently and my DC can have a small amount of cheese with a meal or on its own as a step of the dairy ladder. I went to a chain Italian restaurant and ordered DC everything dairy free from looking at the allergen menu apart from a child's pasta, tomato and mozzarella and rationed the cheese. Through the dairy ladder, my DC isn't hugely sensitive with small amounts of cross contamination but can't tolerate loads of hidden dairy in addition to what my DC is allowed (it is in a lot you would not imagine - sauces, some breads, slathered on meats, potatoes cooked in butter without your knowledge unless specifically checking). They did double check and I bet it made no sense to anyone at the table or in the restaurant because they don't know anything about DC's allergy.

However, the restaurant has a right to refuse and I would respect that over the sake of one dessert. Haven't RTFT so maybe you have said what it is. If it was a baked desert some people with bad reactions are still fine with baked dairy.

I was allergic to eggs as a child but have grown out of it. The flu jab form at work is fun when it asks if you've ever had an anaphylactic reaction to eggs
The sensible person giving the jabs agreed with me that given I had eaten eggs for breakfast, the jab was safe!

Intolerant to - I can't have diclofenac. I had one tablet, once and ended up on gas and air with the stomach pains

Weirdly I should say I'm fine with naproxen, and ibuprofen

My dad is fine with diclofenac and ibuprofen, had naproxen for the first time age 66 and had a massive anaphylactic reaction with his blood pressure crashing, giant swollen face etc 🤷🏽‍♀️ so strange

It turned out my DM was allergic to Heparin. It thickened her blood instead of thinning it.