If you tell them the restaurant that your child has a dairy allergy don't complain when they won't serve the child dairy!

[Cwtches123]

Relative is a chef currently working at a restaurant at family resort in the UK. He is always happy to cater to allergies but is getting increasingly frustrated by those who make a huge fuss about ordering a special main and then deciding to order a dessert full of the allergen!
Last week a family made a huge fuss that everything had to be dairy free for their child, no problem, all dishes dairy free, then they said child wanted the same dessert as sibling as it looked nice. Siblings dessert was full of dairy, parents insisted this would be ok (after previously stated child had severe dairy allergy) restaurant manager refused to serve it.
People like this give genuine allergy sufferers a bad name, I'm glad the restaurant called their bluff!
Parents were furious that the restaurant would not serve dairy to the child they had said had a severe dairy allergy!!!!

@Chouetted intolerance doesn't kill you so it's bit different.

Allergy doesn't just mean an anaphylaxis reaction so an allergy doesn't have to mean it will kill you.

The allergic reaction may be mild. In rare cases it can cause a severe reaction called anaphylaxis. Symptoms of food allergy include

Itching or swelling in your mouth
Vomiting, diarrhea, or abdominal cramps and pain
Hives or eczema
Tightening of the throat and trouble breathing
Drop in blood pressure

Just to add, I don't know about any other dairy allergies but I was told by paeds that children can have 2 types of allergy when it's Cow's Milk Protein Allergy - one is delayed the other is immediate. If you are seeing an immediate swelling, reddening of the face or tongue swelling/anaphylactic shock you will obviously take it more seriously (rightfully) but in both cases eczema, sickness, digestive issues such as gas or diarrhea, reflux, bad sleep due to the reflux, not gaining weight/losing weight, constant "colds" which are actually allergy symptoms, wheezing and breathing problems, grumpiness, etc. can occur just one is immediate the other is not. Some only get one or two symptoms, others get loads and the severity will differ.

@oftenhangry Well yes, that's obvious, but some café or serving staff still freak out if I slip up and tell them, which is why I asked.

Although I'm genuinely allergic to raw potato, and that won't kill me either. I don't bother anyone with that information, because I react instantly, so I'd just stop eating and chalk it up as a bad experience.

@NicoAndTheNiners but person serving doesn't know wheter it will kill you or not. It's just safest to be cautious as it would be possible death.

@Chouetted the freak out is understandable. No one wants to make guests ill. That leads to bad reviews and press and it's a shitty thing to do to someone with intolerance so staff should be careful so customer doesn't suffer.

My FIL does similar, type 2 diabetes so insists on diet coke then has massive sugary dessert. Baffling in both cases.

Not baffling at all if you know what you're talking about. Sugary liquids are processed very, very differently by the body. I can plan for a meal of pizza, chips, and cake for dessert and keep my blood glucose levels steady with the right dose. But there's no way I can drink regular Coke without a huge spike in my blood sugars.

Don't judge things you're ignorant of.

@oftenhangry I guess I've learnt something new - I will make sure never to mention the word intolerance again.

I thought, that, since lactose intolerance is such a common problem, it would just be a simple explanation of why I'm asking them to hold the cheese or the ice cream. Especially since they can be quite pressuring sometimes - "it won't taste as nice without the cheese" was a recent encounter where I gave in and said I was intolerant. Then they freaked out when I ordered a desert with a small amount of milk in that I'd budgeted for.

Is there some other phrasing that I can use that won't cause them to worry?

I’m anaphylactic to Quorn.... it’s very easy to avoid though (unless you have my nightmare of an evangelist veggie doing the whole “You thought that was normal spaghetti Bol.....” thing).

I also have idiopathic anaphylaxis which is triggered more by “me being me” (stress, tiredness... perfect storm of weird things) so to be honest it can also be triggered by nothing.

Idiopathic Anaphylaxis is weird - for 25 years I thought I was allergic to penicillin because of a bad reaction - Immunology have tested me and i’m NOT allergic to penicillin (however I do react very badly to being stressed, tired and other things. Which can often happen after surgery. Which is when I had the reaction to the post surgery penicillin).

I work in a school - we have a few kids listed as allergic to things - as it’s something i’m Very involved with I have various bits of training and certificates- and i’m Positive they had a minor reaction once.....

My own daughter has reacted to some nuts before but not at other times.... I think she is just like me - it’s far more about her emotional and physical state than anything she is eating

@Chouetted I am not sure. Probably just that you can have a little bit so they don't have to worry.
Some will freak out, some will say "Ah! That's all right, here you go."

My DF roped me into cooking his vegetarian friend a meal at the dinner party he was putting on as he's not that confident with veggie dishes. I made a beautiful meal for him, took it through then went back to fetch his separate portion of cabbage as the cabbage DF had made the guests had fried bacon in it. When I came back with the cabbage the vegetarian was tucking in to the cabbage and bacon "because I thought it would just be more straightforward". Livid I was. I live two hours away!!

I often usually drink dairy substitutes doesn't mean I don't eat any dairy, reduction is still good. Or maybe someone else was going to have an extra dessert. I don't see how it's the chefs place to judge.

Also some people that are intolerant to some foods can have some if small amount but if eating too much it can flare up.

Can you get Lactate her in the UK (sorry, UK based but never had a dairy allergy issue). Some people who are lactose intolerant can take lactate 30 mins before a meal and then can handle some dairy

willitbe and others taking about people not knowing the difference between allergies and intolerance etc.

As far as I am aware (from information given to me by my child's specialist paediatrician as well as information on the NICE website etc) the term "intolerance" is being phased out due to updated medical knowledge now being able to explain "intolerance" in terms of allergenic pathways. Non-ige allergies tend to be delayed rather than immediate and involve e.g histamine reactions in the gut, leading to the symptoms such as cramps, bloody stools, mucus stools, acid reflux and so on (such as those described by willitbe). My child's severe gut reactions were treated with specialist antihistamine targeted at intensional cells, for example. It wouldn't have killed her immediately but she certainly experienced chronic health problems which would have become more and more debilitating and permanent had she not been diagnosed with non-ige cows milk protein allergy and put on a restricted diet accordingly.

So there is nothing wrong in describing these reactions as allergic reactions.

Ironically, some of the posters (don't know names and can't scroll up) scoffing that some people describing delayed gut symptoms don't know the meaning of the word allergy might need to educate themselves about modern medicine.

An allergy is mediated by the immune system. It does not have to result in anaphylaxis or death to be classed as such, and the symptoms can be delayed by many hours in the case of non-ige allergies.

An intolerance is generally caused by the body being unable to digest a particular food. For example, lactose intolerance arises from the individual lacking a certain enzyme needed to break down the lactose in milk.

My 21 yo daughter has just found out she lactose intolerant, it won’t kill her, but does give her bad stomach cramps. So we’ve swapped to lactose free milk and cheese. She will rarely have a little non lactose free in a dessert but says it has to be worth the pain. So there’s a big difference between allergies and intolerances. The lactose intolerance can start in early 20s so she’s still finding her feet with it.

This reminds me of a hen party I went on. My mum can't have gluton, she's not allergic but it triggers a severe asthma attack meaning she can't breath. It's quite scary.
Anyway, we were at a restuarant, the waiters came round and took everyone's order (main course was steak and a side, so they were asking how they want it and what sauce), my mum made sure to order a sauce with no gluton in and tells them she can't have gluton, nice and simple.
A while later out comes the waiters and just starts handing out steaks to everyone. Every steak looked the same, all with the same sauce. I stop the waiter and ask if the sauce has gluton, he says no so I say "Ok, I have to check because if it does and my mum eats it she won't be able to breathe and I will have to call an ambulance". Off he goes and out he comes looking sheepish. It had gluton in of course.
They had literally disregarded everyone's orders and cooked every steak the same and given everyone the same sauce.

On a funny note I have hayfever and a dust allergy, so I'm just allergic to wherever I go, worse if they have blowing heaters etc.
My eyes itch, my throat itches, I start to wheeze, it's a pain in the arse but nothing I can do but have a strong antihistamine and carry on :)
I have to take a premptive antihistamine to do the laundry lol my hubby says I'm the housewife allergic to housework lol

I think doctors can cause confusion as well. My neurologist said I was allergic to the testosterone produced by being pregnant with a boy. I had severe daily migraines meaning I was blind for at least a few hours every day, lost all feeling down one side including my face and tongue and ended up on stroke watch. I was put on bed rest to try and reduce any stress etc to try and help it. I also had to get checked for stroke a few times (lots of needle jabbing) and had an MRI after I had him just to check my brain.
It was a weird experience and confusing trying to explain to friends/family/ colleagues

I have digestivw issues and it nanoys the life ouy of me when my hubny doesnt explain properly. We usually opy for soup of some kind or a child meal and the vegetarian meal is often easier on the stomach. But he will often reffer to it as "She cant eat that cos itll make her ill" which technically is right but it wont kill me and cross contamination isnt an issue. Theres a couple of times when he has ordered food and I turn round to realise they are implementing the full "Allergy strategy" and I feel awkward then explaining "You dont have to do that, its not gonna kill me, I just struggle to digest and swallow". I try when posisble to explain that I Need a small easy to digest, easy to swaklow dish such as soup, veggie rissoto, etc and that it isnt an allergy and Im not vegetarian so dont worry about cross contamination etc. As I worked as a chef previously I full understand how hard it is to implement a full allergy policy. We used to have to rewash dishes, knives, forks, just in case they had been cross contaminated. Any kithen tools used. Use a total new fryer of oil ig it was fried. Dedicate one member of staff from cooking to table to prwvent contamination etc. So I wouldnt want someone doing it for no reason.

DD has Coeliac disease and I’m finding more and more places that ask if she is gluten free as a lifestyle choice or an allergy. Obviously if it’s a lifestyle choice fewer precautions to avoid cross contamination are required.

I’ve stopped telling restaurants about my allergy as it’s not super severe anymore and I know they have to scrub down.
I try and look up online or sensibly pick something that I know won’t contain much dairy (providing I’ve taken an antihistamine). Post pregnancy couldn’t eat any, resulted in hives, a lot of difficulty breathing and vomiting. Can have a bit more now but can’t go overboard so sometimes I will avoid it throughout the meal then have a bit of a chocolate cake. If I forget my antihistamine I soon realise though!

As a chef, this pisses me off so much. A gluten free meal means different board, knife, clean down, hands scrubbed. Last Christmas I had several people ask for the 'gluten free' option, then when their roast arrived with no pigs or stuffing, they had a hissy fit. People don't realise the implications of their order in a kitchen. Where I work now, people often ask for gluten free toast which is their prerogative, even though it can be toasted in the toaster egg. However, if we have run out, 9 times out of 10 they are happy to have normal bread.

As a primary teacher, I’ve come across a number of children who use the word ‘allergic’ to describe something they dislike eating, touching or seeing.
My son does this, did not know it was so common. He is "allergic" to unicorns, bath time and teachers, by the way