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AIBU?

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Original poster

If you tell them the restaurant that your child has a dairy allergy don't complain when they won't serve the child dairy!

267 replies

Cwtches123 · 31/12/2018 09:41

Relative is a chef currently working at a restaurant at family resort in the UK. He is always happy to cater to allergies but is getting increasingly frustrated by those who make a huge fuss about ordering a special main and then deciding to order a dessert full of the allergen!
Last week a family made a huge fuss that everything had to be dairy free for their child, no problem, all dishes dairy free, then they said child wanted the same dessert as sibling as it looked nice. Siblings dessert was full of dairy, parents insisted this would be ok (after previously stated child had severe dairy allergy) restaurant manager refused to serve it.
People like this give genuine allergy sufferers a bad name, I'm glad the restaurant called their bluff!
Parents were furious that the restaurant would not serve dairy to the child they had said had a severe dairy allergy!!!!

OP posts:
HammerHorror · 31/12/2018 09:44

That's madness! Why would they lie about a food allergy!!?!? It's such a bloody faff catering for a dairy allergy and it's not exactly glamorous.

I absolutely don't understand why they'd lie.

RedForShort · 31/12/2018 09:55

Weird. On a basic level you’d wonder why they wouldn't be seriously embarrassed about looking like idiots.

I’ve seen an adult do the same (about gluten). I asked why he suddenedly wasn’t allergic when it came to beer (and bread the next day, when hungover from too much beer). He had no answer; he just ignored the question. (I discover over quite quickly he was a monumental idiot.)

CarolineForbes · 31/12/2018 09:56

This gives me the rage. It means people with real allergies aren’t taken as seriously and that has genuinely resulted in death for some people!

AGHHHH · 31/12/2018 09:57

parents insisted this would be ok (after previously stated child had severe dairy allergy)

Stupid cunts.

SnuggyBuggy · 31/12/2018 09:58

People use the word allergy for all sorts of crap. I once met someone who claimed to have a nut allergy after eating a mouldy peanut and feeling a bit off colour Hmm

MyBreadIsEggy · 31/12/2018 09:59

Weird Hmm
My kid genuinely has an anaphylactic milk allergy, as well as multiple other less severe allergies. Eating out is a fucking nightmare for us, so we don’t do it often, but people who dick about like this make it harder on the rest of us in the long run.
The amount of times I’ve heard “Oh well it’s not as serious as a but allergy is it?”......YES! It’s just as fucking serious as a nut allergy Angry

CarolineForbes · 31/12/2018 09:59

Red, I had the same with one of my team at work with gluten. I used to spend extra time and money when I bought treats (paid for by me, not the company) to ensure they were nice and suitable and then one day they were giving out free bacon sandwiches and she took one. I ran over to warn her that the bread wasn’t gluten free and she said she didn’t care and liked to eat bread as a treat. Grrr

HammerHorror · 31/12/2018 10:00

I quite often resort to flashing the epipen bag/leaving it out on the table when eating out so they'll take it seriously.

Disfordarkchocolate · 31/12/2018 10:00

My FIL does similar, type 2 diabetes so insists on diet coke then has massive sugary dessert. Baffling in both cases.

Lokisglowstickofdestiny · 31/12/2018 10:00

With this type of behaviour restaurants are going to eventually stop trying to cater for allergies. These people sound like complete idiots.

MaisyPops · 31/12/2018 10:02

I hate people who do that.

Something can either be eaten or it can't.

One of my relatives likes to go through phases where they cut out gluten and lactose because they get bloated so have decided they are intolerant. Give it a month or so and they're back on their normal diet. A few months after that, they're cutting it out again.

ReflectentMonatomism · 31/12/2018 10:08

People use the word allergy for all sorts of crap.

There are people who are genuinely and severely allergic to things. They largely do not make a fuss, manage their condition and take appropriate precautions.

There are a lot of people who claim they or their children have allergies for attention, or to conceal orthorexia or other EDs, or because they are stupid, or for a whole host of reasons. They make a lot of noise about it.

It is possible to understand the former while thinking the latter are narcissistic fuckwits.

Sadly, the antics of the latter make life a lot harder for the former, because now a lot of people's reaction to allergies is simply disbelief, followed by irritated half-compliance. Being a tosser about fake allergies is not a victimless crime.

bifflediffle · 31/12/2018 10:11

TAAT?

Mischiefinthewind · 31/12/2018 10:12

As a primary teacher, I’ve come across a number of children who use the word ‘allergic’ to describe something they dislike eating, touching or seeing.

OftenHangry · 31/12/2018 10:15

You wouldn't believe how many people are allergic to onions! When they are ordering....
However, then they taste friends' food and hat's when I run out warning them about onion in it and very commonly get an answer "I am not allergic. I just don't like onion and wanted to make sure you won't put it on."
"Well, fuck off. The chef had to scrub everything, change untentsils etc just because you are a prick." Is what I dream about answering...

Waterlemon · 31/12/2018 10:16

If it wS a kids set meal with pudding included then maybe the parents were going to eat it?

We often swap deserts between us. Dc1 usually has an adult option and I have the smaller kids portion

abacucat · 31/12/2018 10:16

My FIL does similar, type 2 diabetes so insists on diet coke then has massive sugary dessert.
Not good for your health with diabetes, but many people can eat a certain amount of sugar and be fine. This is not the same as OP is saying.

KimchiLaLa · 31/12/2018 10:16

My SIL does this. Doctors told nephew to cut out dairy due to ongoing health problem. Makes a big deal about him not having cheese. But no of course he can have ice cream! How could we take that away from
him?!

Slipperboots · 31/12/2018 10:18

This is exactly the kind of shit my SIL does. Makes a huge fuss through the meal about dairy or whatever it was and then let’s DN order what he wants for pudding. ‘Oh he’s okay with that’. FUCK OFF

problem is DD is coeliac so they have no respect for that. SIL also has decided she is allergic to wheat and yet continues to eat things with wheat in them, makes a huge fuss in restaurants. I won’t eat out with her, how am I meant to get restaurants to takeus seriously when she acts like this.
We had a row earlier in the year as she told me DD could have Chinese takeaway as she’s fine with it.
Piss off.

SprogletsMum · 31/12/2018 10:19

I can see how this sort of situation could come about.
My ds is non-ige allergic to milk. If he has milk he'll have the runs, maybe be sick and be up in the night screaming with tummy ache for a few days.
At the moment he's 1 so I make his food choices but if he was 7 or 8 or older and still having the same reactions I would encourage milk free as far as possible but if he truly insisted on a dessert with milk in whilst understanding what it will do to him I probably would allow it.

OliviaStabler · 31/12/2018 10:20

I met someone like this at a group meal with a set menu. Made a big song and dance of not eating dairy so the restaurant made her chosen dishes with changes for starter and main and then when we were ordering our dessert she asked for ice cream!

The waiter said to her that it contains dairy so she would need to choose something else and she simply said 'I am not allergic to dairy, I just didn't want to eat any today but I've changed my mind'.

abacucat · 31/12/2018 10:20

oftenhangry That is annoying. I have a friend who is genuinely allergic to onions, loves onions, and hates how hard it makes everything being allergic to onions.

Graffitiqueen · 31/12/2018 10:23

My SIL does this as well. Insists her DD has a milk allergy then relents when she has a tantrum about not being allowed ice cream.

Made it extremely difficult for us as our DC are anaphylactic to milk and no amount of tantrumming would allow them to eat anything with milk.

krustykittens · 31/12/2018 10:23

A lot of people don't seem to understand the difference between 'allergic' and 'intolerant' either. My youngest daughter is lactose intolerant. That means she can handle a little bit of lactose but once she reaches her threshold, which is quite low, she will have D&V and feel the equivalent of hungover for a few days. When she was little I had to watch what she ate all the time so she didn't reach her threshold and the amount of people who used to sneer at me and say, "But I thought you said she was allergic?" if they saw her having something that contained dairy. No, I didn't, I clearly used the word intolerant. But I would have to keep explaining over and over again, often to the same people. But the aforementioned people sound like dicks anyway. Unless it is an ingredient used in all foods, you just avoid the dishes that contain what you can't eat.

ladybee28 · 31/12/2018 10:23

*I hate people who do that.

Something can either be eaten or it can't.*

Not strictly true...

I'm not allergic to gluten, lactose or fructose – but I am intolerant to them all.

I CAN eat them, I won't go into anaphylaxis or anything that serious, but I'll feel pretty awful afterwards, and if I eat those things consistently I'll get ongoing, pretty severe symptoms (I was hospitalised this year, before I knew what I was dealing with, for constant nausea, exhaustion, major weight loss and fainting spells).

Having said that, I really wanted something on Christmas Eve that I shouldn't normally eat, so I balanced the desire vs the risk of how I'd feel afterwards and decided to have it.

When your diet's super restricted (and it's not a serious allergy as some PPs are posting about) sometimes you do just think "Fuck it, I want that nice taste for ten minutes once in a blue moon and I'll deal with the consequences later."

Doesn't sound like that's the case with the OP, however...

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