If you tell them the restaurant that your child has a dairy allergy don't complain when they won't serve the child dairy!

[Cwtches123]

Relative is a chef currently working at a restaurant at family resort in the UK. He is always happy to cater to allergies but is getting increasingly frustrated by those who make a huge fuss about ordering a special main and then deciding to order a dessert full of the allergen!
Last week a family made a huge fuss that everything had to be dairy free for their child, no problem, all dishes dairy free, then they said child wanted the same dessert as sibling as it looked nice. Siblings dessert was full of dairy, parents insisted this would be ok (after previously stated child had severe dairy allergy) restaurant manager refused to serve it.
People like this give genuine allergy sufferers a bad name, I'm glad the restaurant called their bluff!
Parents were furious that the restaurant would not serve dairy to the child they had said had a severe dairy allergy!!!!

Actually, my DS was allergic to cows milk protein and egg, but was able to tolerate baked egg & baked milk (basically milk/egg baked with gluten, e.g. cakes). Read about the milk ladder for more info, but it's fairly common. Thankfully he's grown out of it completely now, and can have both cows milk and egg (though he still gets a rash with loosely cooked scrambled egg).

I know someone is vegan, gluten free and ‘allergic’ to garlic and onion. She eats out very regularly and always suggests meeting at a cafe. It’s so unbelievably embarrassing to sit with her when she’s talking to restaurant staff.

My dd has coeliac disease, is vegetarian (admittedly that's a choice) and now has a lactose/dairy allergy. I've always found restaurant staff to be nice and helpful. I hope that dd never feels embarrassed about it as she gets older. She can't help the coeliac and the dairy thing. I admit the vegetarian on top infuriates me (I'm not vegi). But she was vegi before the other issues and says the thought of eating meat after so many years makes her feel sick.

SausageSimon Did you complain to the school about the dinner ladies laughing when your son said he was allergic, when they should have been well aware?

Fake allergies are becoming increasingly common ime. Working in a pub I regularly had people asking for gluten free meals while knocking back pints of beer. A friend of mine at uni was supposedly a coeliac (my GM is so I was sympathetic) a few years later and she will happily eat normal pasta/pizza and bread, but is now 'dairy intolerant' (except for when eating said pizza) and a vegan. In fact a fair few vegan converts we know have now also discovered they have multiple 'intolerances', none of them diagnosed by a doctor, it's all just an affectation to make themselves seem more important.

In fact a fair few vegan converts we know have now also discovered they have multiple 'intolerances

As if being vegan wasn't enough of an opportunity to tell everyone about their diet.

Really interesting about penicillin allergy. I'm probably one of the 90% who isn't really allergic but it's been in my notes for 30 years. I wonder if I can/should try to get that changed.

Well done that restaurant manager :)

I'll vomit if I eat fish or seafood, but it's not actually an allergy, just a psychosomatic thing going back to an unfortunate incident as a toddler involving a horrible phlegmy lurgy, pink cough mixture and fishfingers for lunch just beforehand. On the rare occasions I'm asked if I've got any food allergies, I'll explain fish or seafood will make me sick, but make it clear it's not an allergy and there's no need to worry about cross-contamination.

Try having an allergy barely any restaurants or people believe in

The family doing this are utter twats but always surprises me how badly some places handle allergies. I’m non-ige dairy. A while ago I was invited to an afternoon tea. It was a pretty special occasion so I went, Malay I’d just avoid any afternoon teas but I did order a DF tea. I even phoned up the day before to double check my in effort woukdnt have dairy in it.

When mine arrived they’d baked some DF scones and served the milk with double cream. I’m not anaphylactic but double cream! Probably i would have vomited all over the place If I’d eaten it and been ill for weeks.

It depends on how it’s been cooked. My DS’ allergy doesn’t flare up with butter, ice cream or yoghurt. But give him dairy as part of a white sauce or cheese then he needs his epi pen.

in effort shoukd read tea.

Dn not ds!

I imagine that the child is intolerant rather than allergic and has to have quite a bit of whatever it is to become ill. I know a child like this with dairy. A little bit of chocolate would be fine for them but a lot would make them sick. I guess it’s the parents judgement but I can understand the restaurant being cautious as if the child did get ill the parent could deny they knew the ice cream contained dairy.

mischief Having taught for over 30 years, I’d say diagnosed allergies are definitely on the increase in primary

Plus I think our changing diets - for instance when I was primary school aged (and beyond) some things just werent part of our every day diets - sesame seeds for instance. But now hummus is a regular food for tiny kids. Likewise nuts were something we had at christmas and weren't popping up in all sorts of foods and of course we cooked a lot from scratch so no "May contain traces of...."

There was a thread on here about a school who asked for a Drs letter as proof of allergies.

Yes people like this cause me no end of problems when I eat out. I have an unusual reaction to meat/poultry/fish (makes me so violently ill that I usually end up in hospital) so when going anywhere new I have to ring ahead to ask about vegetarian options and cross contamination. Went out with friends last week (was dubious and had my own stuff to take to their house after in case!) arrived to be told despite what they had said before everything was either fried together or contained animal products. I politely declined the owner huffily said "most vegetarians don't know or care". "Most vegetarians wouldn't spend Christmas in hospital on a drip" A staff member came over horrified and said look I have a brand new pan unopened (washed would have done!) what if I do you an omelette, it won't set the world on fire but at least you get fed, I'm
Sorry about xx she doesn't understand real allergies or illness!"

The key thing is be consistent in what you tell people, and don't undermine people's efforts to cater for you.

DS1 had allergies (facial swelling, eczema, explosive bowels) to milk and eggs and an intolerance to soya so was on a total exclusion diet for about 18m, then weaned up the food ladder until he could eat normally by about 4. It was easier to explain total exclusion than the can have cake, butter, cheese, but not cream, milk ice cream etc.

Through the changes in his diet, I realised that I have what I call a "low tolerance" to dairy. I can eat more processed, fatty forms of dairy in moderate quantities, but milk in less processed forms will have unfortunate consequences for the nearest toilet. In a restaurant I can usually choose something appropriate off the menu. I may have to decline dessert. I don't have to fear cross contamination like people with more serious or sensitive conditions. (DS was inadvertantly "dairied" at a wedding as a toddler by buttered vegetables with somewhat unpleasant consequences for the next week) I haven't sought an official diagnosis, it was hard enough going through the process to get DS seen even though the GP practice had seen the reaction where his face swelled beyond recognition. I've had dietician's advice on his behalf so substitute my diet appropriately. I see no point in wasting NHS time when I can recognise the patterns and self treat anyway.

I do take allergies and similar conditions seriously. I've had to cater for a friend with anphylactic nut allergies whose immune system has phases of struggling with different foods- we realised on one camp that she being made ill by washing up water, washing her plate first helped.

Falsely claiming medical conditions and effectively mocking people you have inconvenienced with them is wrong. We had a brownie (& parent) try to copycat a friend... she wasn't impressed when we rigorously stuck to the health form we were given and she got the dry gluten free bread and restricted choice of cakes etc ("but I can have that at home!"). We can only go on the information we have officially been given which said "no gluten".

It can be grey. Just be honest about it.

A friend was organising a dinner party and went to quite a lot of trouble planning a dairy-free, gluten-free, vegetarian meal to cater for everybody. Then someone else brought chocolate fudge brownies and ice cream which everyone tucked in to. I had been part of the meal challenge as a vegetarian so I was definitely a bit surprised that others would put her to that much trouble for no good reason.

Agreed Imogen. Which leads to people ignoring allergies and just saying this is what I am serving.

People also need to learn the difference between a food allergy and a food intolerance they are not the same thing!

I'm told some GPs can be just as bad at using allergy and intolerance interchangeably to be fair

As a primary teacher, I’ve come across a number of children who use the word ‘allergic’ to describe something they dislike eating, touching or seeing

This. I caught a parent giving her child a massive ice cream in the town we live. I jokingly said "I thought you were allergic x" mum said "It's a treat"...really? Stomach pains and diahorrea a treat? Unless of course there's no allergy...

Working in hospitality we will often get customers (usually ladies) say how allergic they are to certain things. We go out of our way to create suitable dishes, involving extra chef time. Delays kitchen and no additional cost.
But come dessert time they will have forgotten all about supposed allergy & tuck in to lovely Bakewell pie & clotted cream!!
And leave no tip. Happens a lot.

The FODMAP diet is literally a load of crap. I have the worst, most unpredictable IBS and I never make a food fuss. One day something may set you off, and the next day not. It is just like an irritable person - you can make an educated guess as to what may annoy them, but sometimes they can kick off for absolutely no good reason and the next day be fine about the very same thing.

Anyway, the term used to be doesn't agree with me and you just chose something else off the menu or silently parked it on the side of your plate. No demands and smug little smirks of specialness.

I agree that a school should ask for a doctor's note for allergies. People and their false claims are highly damaging to anyone who is genuinely allergic to a food.

Funny how it's largely a female trait, but I do know two males with the "condition" of food specialness. One was diagnosed by his hopi ear candle therapist (!?!) and the other by the good old internet. Both are obsessed with their own health and themselves full stop.

I agree the saying used to be "doesn't agree with me". Everyone knew this meant this meant the food might affect your stomach or bowels, but it was not an allergy.