If you tell them the restaurant that your child has a dairy allergy don't complain when they won't serve the child dairy!

[Cwtches123]

Relative is a chef currently working at a restaurant at family resort in the UK. He is always happy to cater to allergies but is getting increasingly frustrated by those who make a huge fuss about ordering a special main and then deciding to order a dessert full of the allergen!
Last week a family made a huge fuss that everything had to be dairy free for their child, no problem, all dishes dairy free, then they said child wanted the same dessert as sibling as it looked nice. Siblings dessert was full of dairy, parents insisted this would be ok (after previously stated child had severe dairy allergy) restaurant manager refused to serve it.
People like this give genuine allergy sufferers a bad name, I'm glad the restaurant called their bluff!
Parents were furious that the restaurant would not serve dairy to the child they had said had a severe dairy allergy!!!!

My dd nearly 5 is currently growing out of an egg allergy. She is being tested with small amounts of well cooked egg. This is being done at home but under careful management with her consultant.

I have had a few snarky comments at birthday party’s where I have allowed her a very small piece of birthday cake after talking to birthday child’s mum about how the cake was made etc.

I completely agree with the restaurant for refusing to serve her.

The best place I have found for allergy’s was the Lego hotel. They asked every person on entrance about allergy’s and had an allergy menu ready. The head chef came out before ordering and spoke about how serious the allergy was and what precautions he would be taking.
Couldnt fault them. It’s the first place I feel truly comfortable eating out with dd.

Argh threads like this stress me out.

I am on a low FODMAP diet due to IBS. This is an inability to fully digest certain sugars, including those found in milk, wheat, onion, garlic, certain fruits, most beans and some pulses (and other things).

So whilst a small amount of any of those things wouldn't cause too much issue, the cumulative effect leads me to look 9 months pregnant, diarrhoea, nausea, and generally feeling like shit. So whilst I won't suffer any terrible life threatening effects, I generally avoid as much as I can to not lead a miserable life.

This obviously is confusing though as generally I will go gluten free as I need to avoid fructan (wheat sugar) but a tiny amount in eg gravy would probably be ok. Or the fact I avoid milk, but a bit of cheese is ok (due to the higher fat content and therefore lower sugar content).

I'm sure there are people that think I'm faddy and attention seeking, but it's so bloody difficult to explain!

Most people and places wouldn’t have a problem with someone declaring they had an allergy, whether they did or not. But once you have declared, FFS stick to it and don’t arse around half way through. Go home, go somewhere else and pig out on cheese, nuts or pizza. Just not in front of the people who have listened, accommodated, and now think you were taking the piss. It devalues the description dangerously in the eyes of those who don’t have close experience. So next time, they may not bother taking all the precautions.

"Well, fuck off. The chef had to scrub everything, change untentsils etc just because you are a prick." Is what I dream about answering...

I didn't realise until I read something similar on a previous thread about allergies, because I'd never thought about it - I can't eat shellfish but they're usually easy to avoid.

Recently I was out for dinner with my fussy-eater daughter who asked me to tell the waiter she was allergic to an ingredient that she actually doesn't like because she was embarrassed about just not liking stuff. So I was able to give her a version of the answer above. But I don't know why it seems less embarrassing to say "I don't egg" than "I'm allergic to egg."

• "I don't like egg" That thing where you see the error just as you press post...

My DS has a non-IgE mediated milk allergy, which means he gets intestinal issues if he has any cows milk protein. However, some kids with this allergy are on the milk ladder and can tolerate certain products with milk protein in. It’s not always straightforward.

That said, ice cream is pretty much at the top of the milk ladder!

I know someone is vegan, gluten free and ‘allergic’ to garlic and onion. She eats out very regularly and always suggests meeting at a cafe. It’s so unbelievably embarrassing to sit with her when she’s talking to restaurant staff. I always tip very generously when with her.

I know it must be an eating disorder but it doesn’t make it any easier to listen to. Every conversation has a 30min babble about some new food which makes her bloated/tired/have a rash (which no-one but she can see). Or some new wonder herb from the health food shop that makes her feel alive again.

It’s probably eating so little food that’s making her tired and bloated, but if you suggest that she will unleash holy hell. I am as low contact as I can be, it’s sad.

I know it must be an eating disorder but it doesn’t make it any easier to listen to

Orthorexia.

I'm allergic to quote. Eating it is quickly followed by nausea, abdominal cramping then hours of vomiting. Every time I have a reaction it's worse than the time before 😞 I hate asking restaurants about it as i feel like such an awkward bugger and it's one if those things people seem really surprised you can be allergic too!

Quorn not quote! So unusual it even autocorrects!

The people who say their lifestyle choices are ‘allergies’ are responsible for many restaurants not taking my DCs life threatening allergies seriously.

I have experienced eye rolling from restaurant staff and ‘we have nothing they can eat except steamed vegetables’ and it is really tough socially on the kids as they hate being different and having to explain it.

We only eat out rarely and normally I call in advance. But sometimes we want to join a group who have invited us out for a celebration. It’s awful when people act like we/they are attention seeking (first world problems, I know). We have had 4 trips to emergency this year for anaphylaxis.....

My 12yo Dd worries about people not believing her. She is terribly anxious about experiencing anaphylaxis again. I’ve had other parents act like I’m being over dramatic. Even my own act like it’s a real inconvenience - makes me sad for my DC who do not appear to be outgrowing their allergies.

I have a confession... When I was 12 I told my science teacher I was allergic to peanuts so I didn't have to do the experiment because she put me in a pair with a boy at school who made me feel really uncomfortable.

I still feel bad now (14 years later) and promise I haven't done it since!

I know someone in RL who has a list as long as your arm of their daughters "severe allergies" but conveniently forgets them to suit. See also strict vegetarian family who are always eating mcdonalds and ikea meatballs ( yes the meat versions) when there is no drama to be made. Drives me crazy!

*Which of your cakes are dairy free?

• X and Y, though they do contain eggs in case you're clueless *I bet they're not gluten free, though *Yes, they're gluten and dairy free but they are made in a kitchen where we use gluten and dairy *Hmm, but are they free of soya? *I'm not sure, I'll have another look at the allergens sheet and check with chef *Yes, cakes X and Y are gluten, dairy, soya and nut free *I'll have cake Z *OK but that does contain dairy, gluten, nuts, soya, sesame and probably mustard, celery and fucking shellfish *I want cake Z! *Very well, madam and thanks for wasting 15 minutes of my day

Food allergies often aren't straightforward, and it can be easier (and safer) for a parernt to say 'She/he is allergic to..." than to go into details. My daughter has anaphalactic reactions to sesame, but eating whole sesame seeds is fine as they pass through the body undigested. It's only if they are ground or pressed that she reacts as that releases the oil. With dairy, she's slowly outgrowing her severe allergy. She can now eat baked dairy goods so is ok with something like cheese straws, or even lasagne, but if she were to have cheese and onion crisps (uncooked powdered milk) or a sprinkle of parmesan on top of the lasagne she'd have a bad reaction. So I could easily quiz the waiter about a main course but decide that she could have the baked cheesecake for pudding, as long as there was no cream on it. With the epi-pens and piriton within easy reach, of course.

I hate this. I have an unusual intolerance (nightshades) and half of people refer to it as an allergy which I correct them on because I feel that stops people taking allergies seriously. And then the other half don't believe me because they've seen me eat chips or a pizza with sauce on at some point, back when I was suffering constant migraines and upset stomach.

Part of my work is making coffees and I've had people get non-dairy drinks with whipped cream, which is totally fine- some people just like soya/almond milk, but one particular girl said it was "because I've heard humans shouldn't really have cows milk"

People use the word allergy for all sorts of crap.

This is true. There is a huge problem in the NHS with large numbers of patients saying they are allergic to penicillin (approx 10% of the population), when only 1% or fewer actually have an allergy. This results in patients' being prescribed sub-optimal antibiotics and running a greater risk of pathological overgrowth of multidrug-resistant bacteria such as meticillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus (MRSA) and Clostridium difficile.

www.nice.org.uk/news/article/double-check-patients-with-penicillin-allergy-to-avoid-increased-mrsa-risk

Has the number of people allergic / intolerant gone up as the years go by or are we just better informed of it? As a teacher who regularly takes school trips away the list of kids with food related issues seems to be getting longer and longer the more my career goes on. Better informed or more allergies?

Better informed or more allergies?

More allergies, probably. For example, but there are plenty more where it came from (this appears to be open access):

Tang, M. L. and Mullins, R. J. (2017), Food allergy: is prevalence increasing?. Intern Med J, 47: 256-261. doi:10.1111/imj.13362

onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/imj.13362

Having taught for over 30 years, I’d say diagnosed allergies are definitely on the increase in primary.

It is possible I believe to be allergic to some dairy and not others if it's a lactose allergy. Hard cheese for instance has less lactose than milk/cream.

Dd has a lactose allergy/intolerance and last night I let her have a tiny bit of sunflower spread even though I knew there was milk in the ingredients. She was vomiting an hour later. So not good, but at least I know she doesn't have anaphylaxis to dairy.

40 years ago I had a brief relationship with a chap wh had a severe shellfish allergy. It was sever enough that he could put a tiny bit of a dish on his lip and if it tingled then he knew he couldn't eat that dish. Useful back in the day when allergies were not catered for at all.

AlpacaLypse Thank you for the tip, I will try it out! My daughter loves ice cream but I thin it has the highest lactose content of any food out there. I have tried making ice cream but it has been a bit of a disaster.

My daughter has fructose intolerance. It is mild so it took a couple of years to diagnose.

I guess that may be more common now due to inclusion of high fructose corn syrup in things. It's that that she is intolerant too - naturally occurring fructose does not seem to affect her.

Her symptoms are constipation and leaking. So on occasion if she knows she is at home for a few days she might risk something she cannot usually eat because she knows that at home she can change underwear as needed and no one will know.

It pisses me off no end. My DD (4) is allergic to penicillin, peanuts, tree nuts, beans, seeds and eggs. Including things like nutmeg and pea flakes that you wouldn’t necessarily think of as allergens. She has so far experienced two anaphylactic reactions and we have Epipens that we carry wherever we go. I also work in catering and take allergen controls VERY seriously so when one woman made a huge fuss of not having ANY TOMATOES ANYWHERE NEAR THE PLATE BECAUSE I AM SEVERELY ALLERGIC I made sure this happened (I didn’t care for her condescending tone like but whatever). Imagine my surprise when she got her food and dumped half a ton of TOMATO SAUCE ALL OVER IT.

Luckily whenever we eat out and I explain to the server that my DD has severe allergies they take it very seriously and she is well catered for but people like that really piss me off. It’s not a fad for some people it’s a life threatening allergy