Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my neighbours are rude and inconsiderate

114 replies

chipsnmayo · 30/12/2018 07:33

Background: my neighbours has a holiday house across the road from us, at weekends in the summer they often throw loud and large parties that go on to 1-2am in the morning, and she has an extremely loud voice that I can hear from my house. This is over a period of about 15 years.

Said neighbours have a DD about my DD's age that use to play together when they were young, so I would sort of friendly to them, and sometimes I would babysit their DD when they threw their parties Hmm but bit my tongue for the sake of their friendship. Their friendship fizzled out in the early 2010s about when they both started secondary school as their DD came out to the house less.

DD and I have barely talked to them since then, and have since rang noise control a few times since the friendship ended if their music if its still going after midnight. Maybe its because I have got older and my tolerance of their music keeps decreasing as the years have gone on.

Just bumped into them in the street and they told me that they are hosting their DD's 21st on NYE (she is born on the 1st), they said we (i.e DD and I) can either complain or join us Shock I thought that was fucking cheeky, she then said their parties are no longer as loud because they have got older Hmm Which I dispute, but its beside the point as its their DD's 21st.

Wtaf, so she knows that they been inconsiderate to myself and other neighbours for the past 15 years, yet she still does not care Angry

Fwiw I will not be calling noise control because it is her DD's 21st and NYE. But I am still fucking furious, like hell we are going to go her party given its been the best part of a decade since we have spoken to both them and the DD.

OP posts:
SheWoreBlueVelvet · 30/12/2018 10:50

The "complain or come over" comment is fairly standard " what to say to your neighbours if you are having a party "advice. I don't think it's necessarily her being a dick or admitting anything..
There's no way a NYE party crossed with a 21st is going to be quiet. Just go with your DD and drink and eat as much of their booze and food as you can manage.

longwayoff · 30/12/2018 10:51

Inky, brilliant Grin

Biancadelriosback · 30/12/2018 11:06

So it's only a few parties a year? Can we have a right estimate? You've also avoided loads of questions. Why didn't you speak to her first before reporting her? You're the one who has made it antisocial

subspace · 30/12/2018 11:08

I'm a bit gobsmacked at all the people who think it's perfectly reasonable to throw parties that disturb the neighbours ever, let alone several times per year. effort

If your music is so loud that other people can hear it inside their own homes, turn it down, especially when it gets to the time of night that other people will be asleep.

ForalltheSaints · 30/12/2018 11:10

Awful way to invite, no wonder you are unhappy. Once or twice a year with warning (and not during the week) is reasonable, but it seems it could be up to 10 a year, which is not.

BeekyChitch · 30/12/2018 11:15

So you only rang noise control once the friendship ended? Although it was fine for them to make all that noise whilst you were friends. You're also annoyed that she knows you were the one complaining and has now been the bigger person and invited you to the party. YABU. She is not a CF Just being upfront.

Bluntness100 · 30/12/2018 11:24

Op, what's the back story here? Clearly you don't like her but used to be friends. You keep blaming your daughter and lumping the two of you together, but it seems your daughter is a 21 year old adult, not a child any more.

Is it simply the sound of them having fun whilst you sit alone that's irking you?

celebbully · 30/12/2018 11:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Roussette · 30/12/2018 11:41

I get what PPL are saying, maybe I should not have gone straight to noise control in hindsight and talked to them years ago, however I did not want to wreck DD's friendship

Why on earth did you think going the Noise Control complaint route would not wreck what friendship you had? Shock
As I said before, you must've fallen out about something else that we, on here, don't know.
Also agree with the PP about going round with a card and a bottle of fizz for the 21 year old and trying to patch things up

Myimaginaryreindeerhasfleas · 30/12/2018 11:51

Talk about missing the point. It's not about NYE, it's about the neighbour admitting that she's been a PITA for 15 years and telling the OP that she has never cared and will continue to carry on regardless.

No it isn’t. It’s about the neighbour saying they realise the parties were noisy but they think (wrongly, evidently) that they won’t be as noisy in future as they are older and wiser. There is absolutely no point in going to war with these people. The only way you will get them on side is with a friendly approach.

JillScarlet · 30/12/2018 12:00

Obviously NYE is a different matter, but for the rest she is being an entitled inconsiderate aresehole.

They don’t live there permanently so treat the place like a holiday camp, not as part of the community. They have no normal neighbourly respect.

Keep complaining during the summer if they have regular parties.

She was extremely rude to talk to you like that about this 21st NYE party: you owe her no loyalty.

Biancadelriosback · 30/12/2018 16:33

But do they know how loud they are? I mean, I know when I making noise, but I have no idea how far the sound travels and who can hear what. Perhaps in their first house, they make the same noise and have never had a complaint? In this house, they've had parties for years but from the sounds of it, no one has ever been round to tell them that they are being too loud. Perhaps when she mentioned the noise, she assumed you might hear the odd noise, not the full blown party.

Bluntness100 · 30/12/2018 16:42

See i don't get people having parties where they are disturbing others even if it is just one night

I think it's ok to not have parties or be invited to them, to have a different type of social life. I find it a bit odd not to understand it though, to never understand the having fun, forgetting time, with good friends, dancing, listening to music etc and having the fun go onto the wee small hours, but I get everyone has led and leads a different life.

EmeraldShamrock · 30/12/2018 17:32

Yanbu. It sounds like it was regular party's most weekend. I wouldn't expect the NDNs who do it regularly, give a shit about anyone.
After new years if they keep having loud party's, report them.
Neighbours behind me have a barbeque friday evening until Sunday morning every week in the summer. I get they work hard mon to fri. It would take a saint to not get fed up.
Your ndn is rude and entitled.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page