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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my neighbours are rude and inconsiderate

114 replies

chipsnmayo · 30/12/2018 07:33

Background: my neighbours has a holiday house across the road from us, at weekends in the summer they often throw loud and large parties that go on to 1-2am in the morning, and she has an extremely loud voice that I can hear from my house. This is over a period of about 15 years.

Said neighbours have a DD about my DD's age that use to play together when they were young, so I would sort of friendly to them, and sometimes I would babysit their DD when they threw their parties Hmm but bit my tongue for the sake of their friendship. Their friendship fizzled out in the early 2010s about when they both started secondary school as their DD came out to the house less.

DD and I have barely talked to them since then, and have since rang noise control a few times since the friendship ended if their music if its still going after midnight. Maybe its because I have got older and my tolerance of their music keeps decreasing as the years have gone on.

Just bumped into them in the street and they told me that they are hosting their DD's 21st on NYE (she is born on the 1st), they said we (i.e DD and I) can either complain or join us Shock I thought that was fucking cheeky, she then said their parties are no longer as loud because they have got older Hmm Which I dispute, but its beside the point as its their DD's 21st.

Wtaf, so she knows that they been inconsiderate to myself and other neighbours for the past 15 years, yet she still does not care Angry

Fwiw I will not be calling noise control because it is her DD's 21st and NYE. But I am still fucking furious, like hell we are going to go her party given its been the best part of a decade since we have spoken to both them and the DD.

OP posts:
KC225 · 30/12/2018 07:48

Instead of stressing yourself over with the impending party, could you go somewhere for the night? I get you don't want to complain about the 21st as you have a history with their DD but it seems a shame to have your night ruined.

OliviaStabler · 30/12/2018 07:51

Wtaf, so she knows that they been inconsiderate to myself and other neighbours for the past 15 years, yet she still does not care

What did you expect? Of course they know they are loud, they are the type of people who simply don't give a shit about anyone else.

longwayoff · 30/12/2018 07:52

KC is right. Hotel for you. It's one night and at least she's told you about it in advance.

Onlyjoinedforthisthread · 30/12/2018 07:56

Good on them, they've told you their plans and invited you so either put up or shut up. I'd take them up on their offer off free booze and invite a few of my friends too.

pictish · 30/12/2018 08:01

They are allowed to have a party! Go elsewhere for the night if it’s really so unbearable. I’m not sure why you feel so embittered about it.

MoreCheeseDear · 30/12/2018 08:15

YABVU. It's new year's eve. People are entitled to party.

CripsSandwiches · 30/12/2018 08:21

YANBU but you shouldn't be surprised, they must have known they were pissing off all the neighbours with their loud parties and didn't care enough to stop. They are obviously also brazen enough to admit it to your face. Like you I wouldn't complain about a nye party or a 21st birthday party but would continue to call noise control if they have future parties.

Outwards · 30/12/2018 08:23

Sorry OP while I understand, I think you're being U here. At least it's only occasionally! And they did the right thing by inviting you.

Aaaahfuck · 30/12/2018 08:29

I'll probably get flamed for this but in my experience the type of people to own second homes are also the type to be this selfish. I would be really angry and definitely call noise control. I'd also contact the council about the ongoing problem to get it sorted out properly. Your neighbors sounds like an entitled twat.

Roussette · 30/12/2018 08:31

I think you're the unreasonable one here. You call Noise Control before you even speak to them? They have parties infrequently yet you ring Noise Control if it goes on after midnight. They have asked you to the Party, which to be frank is nice of them given you're always complaining and you've chosen not to speak to them for over 10 years.

Our NDNs have the odd party here and there in the summer, usually about twice a year. I don't particularly like it and end up sleeping in a different room with earplugs but it is infrequent and I would prefer neighbourly friendliness over disputes and irritations.

LIZS · 30/12/2018 08:32

It's a one off party , you were at least invited.

Original poster
chipsnmayo · 30/12/2018 08:33

I totally understand its NYE which is why I am not complaining.

BUT, she tried to make me feel guilty that I have complained in the past because she felt hard done by. I am not a total cow and have only complained after midnight in the past. We often have early morning sports etc where we have to be up at 6, so it disrupts DD's sports training if she is not asleep by 1am.

OP posts:
Original poster
chipsnmayo · 30/12/2018 08:34

*does not get to sleep by 1am

OP posts:
Roussette · 30/12/2018 08:35

And do you go round or ring them and ask them politely to turn it down a bit.. before ringing noise control??

I would be absolutely shocked if someone did this before even contacting me personally.

TruckLoadOfSubtleGlitter · 30/12/2018 08:35

YABVU. It's new year's eve. People are entitled to party.

Eh? Talk about missing the point. It's not about NYE, it's about the neighbour admitting that she's been a PITA for 15 years and telling the OP that she has never cared and will continue to carry on regardless.

TruckLoadOfSubtleGlitter · 30/12/2018 08:37

And do you go round or ring them and ask them politely to turn it down a bit.. before ringing noise control??

Because the neighbour sounds so considerate and would turn the music down?

How is everyone trying to place blame on the OP?
Arseholes of Mumsnet, victim blaming.

Op I've been in your position. Except my arsehole neighbour lived below me and the parties were nightly. It was HELL.

NewIdeasToday · 30/12/2018 08:38

You can’t stop people having fun because your daughter does sports. If this was every weekend that would be different, but the occasional parry over many years seems perfectly reasonable.

greendale17 · 30/12/2018 08:39

There really are some dicks on MN.

Talk about missing the point. It's not about NYE, it's about the neighbour admitting that she's been a PITA for 15 years and telling the OP that she has never cared and will continue to carry on regardless.

^This

purpleelk · 30/12/2018 08:39

Hotel for one night on new year’s eve? Good luck with that.

bifflediffle · 30/12/2018 08:41

Do you drive your dd to sport? Does that annoy them ?

WHY would you not have just spoken to them instead of going straight to noise control?

CripsSandwiches · 30/12/2018 08:42

Talk about missing the point. It's not about NYE, it's about the neighbour admitting that she's been a PITA for 15 years and telling the OP that she has never cared and will continue to carry on regardless

This. Can you people seriously not realise the fact that OP isn't complaining about a one off party on NYE but about the fact the neighbours have been so brazen about the fact that their parties have been disrupting the neighbourhood for the past 15 years. People's reading comprehension must be terrible!

TruckLoadOfSubtleGlitter · 30/12/2018 08:42

Do you drive your dd to sport? Does that annoy them?

Why are you trying to find a way to make this the OP's fault?

UhUhUhDennis · 30/12/2018 08:44

"Disrupts sports training if not asleep by 1am" Grin

Roussette · 30/12/2018 08:45

Lol. Arseholes of Mumsnet because we don't all agree with you Grin

How do you know the neighbour wouldn't have turned the music down if she had been approached personally? But to call Noise Control before even trying is red rag to a bull

TruckLoadOfSubtleGlitter · 30/12/2018 08:46

Arseholes of Mumsnet because we don't all agree with you

Sure. That's what it is. Hmm