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Original poster

To think my neighbours are rude and inconsiderate

114 replies

chipsnmayo · 30/12/2018 07:33

Background: my neighbours has a holiday house across the road from us, at weekends in the summer they often throw loud and large parties that go on to 1-2am in the morning, and she has an extremely loud voice that I can hear from my house. This is over a period of about 15 years.

Said neighbours have a DD about my DD's age that use to play together when they were young, so I would sort of friendly to them, and sometimes I would babysit their DD when they threw their parties Hmm but bit my tongue for the sake of their friendship. Their friendship fizzled out in the early 2010s about when they both started secondary school as their DD came out to the house less.

DD and I have barely talked to them since then, and have since rang noise control a few times since the friendship ended if their music if its still going after midnight. Maybe its because I have got older and my tolerance of their music keeps decreasing as the years have gone on.

Just bumped into them in the street and they told me that they are hosting their DD's 21st on NYE (she is born on the 1st), they said we (i.e DD and I) can either complain or join us Shock I thought that was fucking cheeky, she then said their parties are no longer as loud because they have got older Hmm Which I dispute, but its beside the point as its their DD's 21st.

Wtaf, so she knows that they been inconsiderate to myself and other neighbours for the past 15 years, yet she still does not care Angry

Fwiw I will not be calling noise control because it is her DD's 21st and NYE. But I am still fucking furious, like hell we are going to go her party given its been the best part of a decade since we have spoken to both them and the DD.

OP posts:
bifflediffle · 30/12/2018 08:48

Personally I’d have gone and spoken to them before going straight to noise control. Because going straight to noise control is a dick move.

maxthemartian · 30/12/2018 08:50

A dick move is making other people's lives a misery with noise for years.

ourkidmolly · 30/12/2018 08:50

They sound like inconsiderate pigs. I'd be fuming at that comment. Not much you can do though.

pictish · 30/12/2018 08:51

Truck to be fair you haven’t been in OP’s position because as you say, your neighbour’s property was attached to yours and the disruption was nightly. OP’s neighbour is across the road and it’s occasional.

I’m not victim blaming. It’s just that their occasional 1am parties wouldn’t make a dink on me. I have next door neighbours here who like to party in the summer, using the house and garden its full advantage with scores of youngsters whooping it up. They’re good neighbours, very pleasant...and we don’t grudge them the enjoyment of their property in this way. We’ve had the occasional 3am singalong in here ourselves and they are similarly amenable.

I don’t think a 1am shut off is too bad. I can see why it clashes with your schedule but it’s not something you can expect any sway with.

Panicmode1 · 30/12/2018 08:52

Totally sympathise OP.

Our NDN had two teenage children who had parties almost every weekend which often ran into the very small hours for about two years - we had young children at the time so sleep was precious - and we got precious little of it at the weekends due to their DCs antics, and occasionally their own dinner parties.

In fact, one NYE, I did text at 3.30 am and ask (politely) if they could just turn the music down a little bit - because I knew we'd be up at 6am with very grumpy children who had had very little sleep. Apparently they then asked other neighbours in the street to 'have parties for your teens too so we're not the only villains'. Some people just have no manners, consideration for others, or any sense of anything other than their own entitlement.

Original poster
chipsnmayo · 30/12/2018 08:52

TruckLoad, that sounds awful!

Surely its common sense that loud music is a no no after midnight?

OP posts:
gimmeadoughnut123 · 30/12/2018 08:53

Have you ever spoken to her about the parties before ringing noise control?

My PILs used to have a feud with a neighbour who would call the authorities over little things e.g. parking 1 inch over his dropped curb. Not picking up a dog poo immediately from their garden (it is a private garden, they do not share). So every now and again they did something that they knew would wind him up, because he never spoke to them properly and just took extreme action for no reason.

If you've never actually spoken to her and just complain every time, then she might be taking that sort of view.

We used to have a neighbour that blasted out music most nights until 2am with very loud bass. One night my husband went round to speak to him and tell him the whole road could hear him. He didn't realise it was so bad as his house was detached, apologised, and didn't do it in future.

I do think there is something to be said for civil conversations. How frequently are her parties?

bifflediffle · 30/12/2018 08:53

They’re only there at the weekends. And they have parties in the summer when kids are off school and the weather is nice.

Personally I’d lose the “my child SPORTS” attitude and have gone over and talked to them. Maybe they are fuming about the loud voices at 6am getting into the car and the banging of doors?

Either way, the party on NYE is not UR. And the neighbour has let the op know she knows itwas her complaining.

How often were the complaints op? One a week? Three times a month? Every month? Only in the summer? All year?

NiteFlights · 30/12/2018 08:54

I can’t believe anyone thinks you’re the unreasonable one here. Also, you’re behaving perfectly reasonably about the NYE party - it would be silly to make a fuss about that.

Have you spoken to the neighbours? Especially her NDNs? Could you do something more focused than ringing noise control every now and then? At least keep a diary of the noise incidents. Your neighbour knows what a nuisance she is and you are more than justified in trying to do something about it.

As for NYE, try to relax and enjoy whatever you’re doing, and use earplugs. Don’t let her spoil your evening.

Roussette · 30/12/2018 08:54

Mind you... I don't go round calling people arseholes when they post something I don't necessarily agree with

OP I'm sure it is annoying but it sounds like you used to get one. Your DDs were friendly, you used to babysit for them but now even her voice annoys you. Have you tried to talk to them given you used to get on?

Roussette · 30/12/2018 08:56

*used to get on. Not one

PumpkinKitty82 · 30/12/2018 08:57

Sounds more like they know you’ve been reporting them but instead of being angry at you they’ve chosen to turn the other cheek and invite you not necessarily that they know they’ve been disturbing people and don’t give a shit.
Agree that going away for the night seems a good idea

yUssssss · 30/12/2018 08:57

It really do be like that sometimes

Original poster
chipsnmayo · 30/12/2018 08:59

Pictish, it's not an occasional party, it is a few times throughout the summer. And sometimes there are even fireworks.

Like I said I am ok up to 11am, by midnight it really starts to piss me off though.

OP posts:
WomanWithAltitude · 30/12/2018 08:59

Tbh, what do you expect? These are people who clearly feel no obligation to be part of the local community. They're not your neighbours, they are occasional visitors who see your street as somewhere they can do what they want.

Couple that with the fact that they've previously made it obvious (by holding the loud parties) they don't care that they disrupt things for the residents who actually live there, of course they're going to be dicks! NYE is one night, but this is a long term pattern.

I bet they don't party that loudly when they're in their main home.

WomanWithAltitude · 30/12/2018 09:00

I would do what you normally do. Call police / noise control once it gets past a certain volume or lateness.

bifflediffle · 30/12/2018 09:00

How many times is a few times? 5? 10?

Roussette · 30/12/2018 09:01

So... a few times could be 2, or 3 times?

Can you not try and get on with them again because it sounds like you used to. I imagine there is a bit of a backstory here.

gimmeadoughnut123 · 30/12/2018 09:03

it's not an occasional party, it is a few times throughout the summer. And sometimes there are even fireworks.

As the summer is a few months long, I'm taking this to mean it's like once a month? For a part of the year? Which personally I wouldn't view as a problem...

I'd be asking for a heads up on the fireworks personally but that's only because our dog is scared of them.

Original poster
chipsnmayo · 30/12/2018 09:03

To make it clear, I have only complained a couple of times in the summers if it is bordering on 1am. My NDN next to me has also complained.

Biffled how do you know we do loud noises? And shutting a couple of doors / boot does not compare to hours of shit music

OP posts:
Ethel80 · 30/12/2018 09:05

I thought the comment was quite funny and tbh if you were calling noise control before you were talking to them then probably deserved.

They're clearly entitled dicks too (second homers) but people are allowed to have parties. Why is your daughters training schedule more important than their priorities?

Look, I think you'd have got a better reaction if your posts mentioned that you've talked to them several times and asked them to turn the music down etc but it doesn't sound like you have.

WomanWithAltitude · 30/12/2018 09:05

A few times a summer would be normal for a family that were permanent residents. But a few times a summer when it's someone's second home means that they probably do it almost every time they visit.

bifflediffle · 30/12/2018 09:06

So 2 parties in the summer?

God you have little to complain about.

I guarantee you’re noisier at 6am than you think. Said as the mother of a sporty teen or two who had early morning practice.

Original poster
chipsnmayo · 30/12/2018 09:06

I see this has received mixed responses Grin I appreciate the sympathy from other posters :)

PPL could be right about they feel no obligation to be kind to the community as they do not live there permanently (barely see them in the winter)

OP posts:
Roussette · 30/12/2018 09:07

If someone asked me about my neighbours and how many times they had a party, I would probably say a few times a year. In reality, it's a maximum of twice a year.

When it happens I mumble and grumble to my DH and move into another bedroom with earplugs and put up with it because neighbourly relations are far more important to me than a slightly disturbed nights sleep. And it means I can have a party when I want.

Now... if it were every weekend throughout summer I would be speaking to them. I would not ring noise control however.