To think my neighbours are rude and inconsiderate

[chipsnmayo]

Background: my neighbours has a holiday house across the road from us, at weekends in the summer they often throw loud and large parties that go on to 1-2am in the morning, and she has an extremely loud voice that I can hear from my house. This is over a period of about 15 years.

Said neighbours have a DD about my DD's age that use to play together when they were young, so I would sort of friendly to them, and sometimes I would babysit their DD when they threw their parties but bit my tongue for the sake of their friendship. Their friendship fizzled out in the early 2010s about when they both started secondary school as their DD came out to the house less.

DD and I have barely talked to them since then, and have since rang noise control a few times since the friendship ended if their music if its still going after midnight. Maybe its because I have got older and my tolerance of their music keeps decreasing as the years have gone on.

Just bumped into them in the street and they told me that they are hosting their DD's 21st on NYE (she is born on the 1st), they said we (i.e DD and I) can either complain or join us I thought that was fucking cheeky, she then said their parties are no longer as loud because they have got older Which I dispute, but its beside the point as its their DD's 21st.

Wtaf, so she knows that they been inconsiderate to myself and other neighbours for the past 15 years, yet she still does not care

Fwiw I will not be calling noise control because it is her DD's 21st and NYE. But I am still fucking furious, like hell we are going to go her party given its been the best part of a decade since we have spoken to both them and the DD.

Its not just two parties, maybe two parties that go beyond 1am. But before 1am is pretty late imo.

If it was me, I’d have spoken to them. I most certainly wouldn’t have fumed and rung noise control twice a summer for 15 years.

Honestly, a couple of late parties in the summer is no biggie. I wouldn’t get my knickers knotted about that

Sounds like you just don’t like them now and if they shit in the palm of their hand they couldn’t please you.

You think they shouldn’t party til 1am once or twice at the weekend in the summer?

OP, is there more to this? I just can't imagine going from being friendly, your kids spending time together, you babysitting etc.... to a default position of you ringing Noise Control.

I didn't miss any point. I just can't believe that people think a few loud parties per year is unreasonable. Every weekend, unreasonable. A few over the summer and one NYE - reasonable. They can't live their lives around your family's sporting interests.

Is it just this op or are you generally an angry intolerant woman?

Sometimes one thing can make us angry and intolerant other times it's really who we are.

It's clearly only a few times max a year, so she's not been making your life miserable for 15 years. She was telling you she knows you complain and she was inviting you. Sounds like she's as fucked off with you as you are her.

We all have occasional parties where I live. There is only five houses. We are all tolerant of each other. I recall when I first moved here explaining to one elderly neighbour we would be having a party and apologising for thr noise in advance and her responding with "we used to have some really wild parties when we were younger, I could tell you some stories, you have fun" and laughing.

As long as it's not every weekend and no one takes the piss, then live and let live is a much more pleasant way to live rather than reporting your neighbours and spending your days all angry and intolerant

So how many parties do they actually have through the summer? Leaving times out of it

If it's a constant thing I would also be miffed. New Year's Eve/birthday and the odd occasion fair enough but not all the time.

The next time you see her say 'I'm sorry you feel upset, but have you given any thought at all to how we (the neighbours) feel? We actually dread the very sight of you because every time you turn up our road becomes a disco and none of us gets any sleep. I appreciate you want to have a great time, but if my DD needs to be up early for her sports then yes, I will complain that your party is still loudly ranging on past 1am. Perhaps you could be a little more considerate in future and think of someone other than yourself?

Some people have absolutely no consideration at all for anyone other than themselves. I have these people in my road too. I've found that if I say something to them (before reporting them) 'Hello, would you please mind not parking across my drive as it's preventing me getting my own car in/out when I need to.' Que them then parking across my drive every. fucking. day. all. night. long. for. months. It's as if they know that if something annoys you they do it even more. So now I don't even bother speaking to them, I just report the car blocking my drive. Some people are just arseholes and despite their own behaviour they will always see themselves as the victim.

Except that even by op own admission it isn’t every time they turn up?

I don’t think 1am is late for a party. In fact, I’d say that was normal time for a party to end.

Is it even a party? Or is it just friends round?

Okay I accept I am being somewhat BU, but I thought it was rude to have loud music after 11am? Or am I wrong?

I don’t think 1am is late for a party. In fact, I’d say that was normal time for a party to end

But the OP is unhappy with anything past 11pm.

Our NDN used to have frequent parties (more than once a month) until 6am. It's so selfish. Over the Christmas period it would be nearly every night. They were students with s very large flat do I think everyone piled back after the pub.

Just make sure you're up nice early with the lawnmower going and a Bluetooth speaker blasting music

11pm?

Every single night yes. But as a once or twice over the summer, it honestly wouldn’t fizz on me. Have they pissed you off over something else?

But chips why can't you talk to these Neighbours. You used to be friendly. They've asked you to NYE party they're having. What happened ?

The more you post the more unreasonable you seem, in fact you seem jealous of them.

Are there a lot of holiday homes in the vicinity? Is it a holiday type of a place?

Are people seriously saying that a holiday home where the neighbours throw a loud party most times they visit should be viewed in the same way as a permanent resident?

My neighbours all actually live in my street, we all get on ok and have an interest in maintaining good relations. If one threw a party I'd say nothing unless it was really late.

But that's not what this scenario is. This is people who don't even live in the street, rocking up occassionally and making lots of noise when they do so. That's a very different scenario to my mind, and it makes them dicks.

Any time I have asked people to turn music down, they have been uncooperative to say the least. I once managed to stop a neighbour playing heavy metal on Sunday mornings by playing some really horrible music back at him through the wall on Sunday evening (he had to get up early). But all of this ‘speak to them first’, although it sounds terribly naice, is the way to more frustration, I have concluded with some sadness.

I would not consider it rude to have the occasional party in the summer months and have music after 11 pm.

In fact I'd feel veryunreasonable expecting people to stop at 11.

Do you have much of a social life?

If the neighbours actually cared then they would remember that the neighbours reported them last time and try to be more considerate the next time. OP shouldn't have to ring for every party if they were reasonable neighbours.

YABVU. It's new year's eve. People are entitled to party.
And those who don’t want to are entitled to live in peace!