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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask if anybody on here is pro-life?

999 replies

Teeandee · 28/12/2018 15:02

When it comes to the subject of abortion I've noticed a high number of people on here are very pro-choice and support abortion. Is there anybody else, like me, who doesn't?

Everybody is entitled to their opinion of course and I don't think badly of anybody who has had a termination and I don't judge. It's only my personal outlook and life experiences that shape my view and was wondering if I really am in the minority here?

OP posts:
guacatrole · 28/12/2018 15:56

Do you think that women historically felt it was their right to have a state guarantee they would not have to deal with being pregnant or giving birth

Historically women didn't have a choice to say no to sex either.

So glad we've moved beyond that

TitsalinaBumSquash · 28/12/2018 15:56

I find this so confusing because I would have always said I'm pro life and the thought of abortion for the wrong sex or at term or because a woman simply changed her mind would leave me cold, I expect it's my upbringing because my mum though the same.

HOWEVER.

I now have 4 children and a very difficult, exhausting lifestyle and said to DH honestly that if I fell pregnant now I couldn't keep the pregnancy as it would end me, I honestly think my mental health would be damaged to the point of destruction so now I don't know.

I still don't think there is ever a reason (beyond mother or baby being very sick) to have a termination at term or in the second trimester. I can't get over that fact that by then, it's a baby. 🤷🏻‍♀️

JacquesHammer · 28/12/2018 15:57

LadyRenoir

I’m on the thread, would you mind not @ me as I still get emails despite turning it off.

I had a pregnancy scare. Despite taking the pill religiously. We had a split condom. I’m also infertile.

Things do happen.

tillytoodles1 · 28/12/2018 15:57

Catholic and pro-life. I would never have an abortion under any circumstances, but that's just my opinion.

AtrociousCircumstance · 28/12/2018 15:57

Pro-life is an inaccurate term because those who are anti-abortion have no interest in what happens to the child (if a woman were forced to carry and bear an unwanted fetus).

Anti-abortion/anti-choice is far more honest.

guacatrole · 28/12/2018 15:58

If you think people who have unplanned pregnancies are irresponsible people who are too stupid to be having sex how exactly will throwing an unwanted baby into the mix help matters?

Well ideally we just give all those babies to proper good Christian families who can afford the fee. I think that's how they used to do it.

sconebonjovi · 28/12/2018 15:59

You can't be truly pro-choice if you say 'I'm pro choice but'. There are no buts. You either support a woman's right to choose, or you don't.

NCThisTime · 28/12/2018 15:59

LadyRenoir my surprise daughter was conceived despite using a condom and the pill. She was determined, or so she says.

ElonMask · 28/12/2018 15:59

So glad we've moved beyond that

Wtf are you on about ? Consequence free sex is not a moral imperative. Is it ?

JacquesHammer · 28/12/2018 16:00

Wtf are you on about ? Consequence free sex is not a moral imperative. Is it

But the consequence is easily dealt with - as per the law in the UK.

Drogosnextwife · 28/12/2018 16:01

A foetus doesn’t have a life, it hasn’t experienced the world and cannot think- it’s a bundle of cells.

That's called an opinion not a fact.

TinklyLittleLaugh · 28/12/2018 16:01

Can I just say Ave that a lovely friend of mine had a contraceptive failure, MAP failure, failed abortion and serious complications as the result of retained matter inside her.

Then after her stay in hospital she went for a scan to check everything was now gone and waited an hour in a room full of happy pregnant women, only to be told that the sonographer wouldn't see her because she disagreed with abortions.

I fucking well judged I can tell you.

So basically, if you do not feel able to provide all the services and treatments that the law has decided women are entitled to relieve from medics, then I think you should go and find another profession.

Outwards · 28/12/2018 16:02

OP, your update post completely contradicts your original post.

Hmm
JacquesHammer · 28/12/2018 16:02

Saying “I wouldn’t have an abortion” doesn’t automatically make you “pro-life”. You’re still exercising your right to choice.

AveAtqueVale · 28/12/2018 16:02

Pro-life is an inaccurate term because those who are anti-abortion have no interest in what happens to the child (if a woman were forced to carry and bear an unwanted fetus).

That's a bit of a sweeping generalisation Hmm.

TwistedStitch · 28/12/2018 16:03

Well ideally we just give all those babies to proper good Christian families who can afford the fee. I think that's how they used to do it

Ah yes of course, turning women into enforced surrogates. I saw the argument on the recent thread that women should be forced to carry to term, give birth and give their child up for adoption rather than have even an early abortion- and these people consider themselves as having the moral highground.

JacquesHammer · 28/12/2018 16:03

My god TinklyLittleLaugh your poor friend. That’s utterlt abhorrent Angry

formerbabe · 28/12/2018 16:03

@formerbabe - is it beyond belief that one can enjoy sex using contraception at the same time?
If you don't want to have children, contraception is the way to go. if you are too stupid to use it, or too stupid to think you need to, well then, maybe sex is not for you

Oh the irony of talking about stupidity when you have barely grasped the question I was asking.

Are you pro life because you care about the unborn? If you are, then surely you don't think one life is worth less because it was conceived through non consensual sex?

Or is it the case that you're actually pro life because you think unwanted pregnancy and birth is a good punishment for women who willingly have sex.

ghostyslovesheets · 28/12/2018 16:05

abortion can not be used as contraception - that's a basic fact!

How do you square your pro-life views with your pro euthanasia stance though?

MotherOfDragonite · 28/12/2018 16:05

I am pro-choice for everyone to be able to make the choice that is right for them.

The right choice for me personally is pro-life.

NottonightJosepheen · 28/12/2018 16:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ohreallyohreallyoh · 28/12/2018 16:09

I am grateful to have never been pregnant when I didn’t want to be. I feel that I wouldn’t abort but it is the unknown, the what ifs and the possibly maybe that make me say abortion must be an option for the day that myself, my friends, daughters, sisters, colleagues and unknowns are pregnant and don’t want to be.

chibsortig · 28/12/2018 16:09

You dont like abortion - dont have one.
You dont like what it entails - dont have one, dont look it up.
You judge other women for having one- why how does it affect you? - It doesnt not your body not your choice.
Maybe the pro-lifers could campaign for better education, better child benefits, make sure all those unwanted children in various care systems around the world have lovely happy lives with no abuse or no feeling abandoned by the women who were forced to give birth.
But that doesnt happen no one wants to pay for someone elses children, no one cares after the baby leaves the uterus. If you dont care when the baby is here why should you care beforehand.
Im very sympathetic to people who struggle to conceive but still for a PP it doesnt give you the right to say no one should have a termination.
I am pro choice in any circumstance at any time. Its a service ive never had to use but i like knowing it is there should i or any other woman need it.

ElonMask · 28/12/2018 16:09

Or is it the case that you're actually pro life because you think unwanted pregnancy and birth is a good punishment for women who willingly have sex.

Pregnancy is not a punishment for having sex. The only way to be certain you won't get pregnant is not to have PIV sex..that may seem outrageous to you, but it really isn't. It is certainly not more outrageous than claiming the state has a duty to ensure that you don't have to deal with the consequences of sex if you don't want to.

Stephisaur · 28/12/2018 16:09

I don’t fully believe in the concept of “pro-life”

It’s still a choice at the end of the day. You are choosing to put the foetus above the mother. Other people will do the opposite. Those are choices that we make.

I do not believe that anybody should have that choice removed from them. Just as a mother with an unwanted pregnancy shouldn’t be forced to bring that child into the world, we should not say that those who find themselves accidentally pregnant should have an abortion.

It’s an incredibly complex moral and ethical issue, which can not be generalised as it really does depend on each individual woman’s circumstances.

I used to believe that I would have a termination if I got pregnant accidentally. Once I got pregnant (intentionally) I realised that I would not be able to make that choice because the baby was real to me from the moment I got that positive test.

However, both my mother and sister have needed to have terminations in the past. Both circumstances would have resulted in babies being born into less than ideal lives and would not necessarily have been loved as they could have been. I believe that these women were strong and made the right choice

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