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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask if anybody on here is pro-life?

999 replies

Teeandee · 28/12/2018 15:02

When it comes to the subject of abortion I've noticed a high number of people on here are very pro-choice and support abortion. Is there anybody else, like me, who doesn't?

Everybody is entitled to their opinion of course and I don't think badly of anybody who has had a termination and I don't judge. It's only my personal outlook and life experiences that shape my view and was wondering if I really am in the minority here?

OP posts:

greenpop21 · 28/12/2018 15:48

Pro choice and was brought up Catholic, though no longer practising.

Drogosnextwife · 28/12/2018 15:49

What I dislikeon this site is the absolute hatred towards people who are pro life. They are belittled, personally attacked, told that they are absolutely wrong and they are not allpwed to believe things they believe, it's not ok. I have never witnessed a pro life on here do that to anyone pro choice.
People saying the have no respect for anyone who says they are pro life except in certain circumstances, what makes you think that person needs ypur respect or cares what you think.
Apparently no woman is allowed to be pro life because it is misogyny. Is telling woman what to think not misogyny?

guacatrole · 28/12/2018 15:49

I believe abortion should be a choice if the fetus is likely to develop abnormalities, or if pregnancy is endangering woman's life (or in case of a rape, although I still personally think the baby should not be a victim).

The argument for abortion in case of rape is OK is so illogical.

You wouldn't support someone murdering their baby who was born of rape, so why do you accept abortion in that case, if a fetus is actually a baby?

I know I would never support a woman killing her two day old baby because it was born of rape.

Admit that you just don't like women having sex for fun.

I'm pro choice, whatever the reason because no woman should be forced to be pregnant.

LadyRenoir · 28/12/2018 15:49

@formerbabe - is it beyond belief that one can enjoy sex using contraception at the same time?
If you don't want to have children, contraception is the way to go. if you are too stupid to use it, or too stupid to think you need to, well then, maybe sex is not for you.

Thewifipasswordis · 28/12/2018 15:50

Pro choice in line with the laws set. Unless previously undetected genetic/life limiting/ending medical problems discovered in the mother or child.

A baby is a baby, it's a life. Why is it not 'murder' when it's inside another human but in the fresh air it would be? The line has to be drawn somewhere and the rules in GB do it well and give ample time for mothers own choice and accountability.

Genevieva · 28/12/2018 15:50

Pro choice accompanied by plenty of support and a liberal society in which women are not judged for choosing to have a baby in less than ideal circumstances. Pro-life societies are often the ones in which vulnerable women who might want to keep their baby are forced into back street abortions because the only other option is to be marginalised by society for having a baby out of wedlock.

Cassiacassie · 28/12/2018 15:51

ladyrenoir but on occasions contraception doesn’t work.

Burnt0range · 28/12/2018 15:51

I am completely pro-life! I don't believe in abortion at all!!!

guacatrole · 28/12/2018 15:51

No, they never threw blood at women leaving family planning centres, called women whores and murderers, or set up catfish websites that look like "help" for women in trouble that are actually pictures of aborted fetuses from very late pregnancies? Pregnancies that could only be aborted because the child had serious abnormalities? So are actually the remains of wanted pregnancies?

AveAtqueVale · 28/12/2018 15:52

I'm an awkward fence-sitter as I'm basically pro-life (life begins at conception etc) and do not believe we have a right to end other people's lives. I couldn't have an abortion myself, except possibly to save my own life, and then I think I'd feel like a coward. I have had an unexpected (and frankly, in the early days, unwanted) pregnancy too, so it's not like I'm talking completely out my arse having never been in that kind of situation.

BUT - I really hate the idea of minority religious viewpoints (including my own), dictating what other people can and can't do. And I also think that it's important for women to have access to legal and safe abortion, as history shows clearly that the alternative isn't that all pregnancies will otherwise follow their natural course. Many will end in illegal and unsafe abortions, and others will end in suicide and other awful situations for the mother.

It's something I've been thinking a lot about as I'm in my final year of medical school and am really interested in doing Obs and Gynae, but worry that the fact I wouldn't perform a termination would cause me to somehow compromise patient care. I know legally I'd be allowed not to, and that I'd obviously pass any patients on to a colleague who could help them, but I worry that I'd somehow inadvertantly influence them or make things more difficult at an already tricky time. Or they'd feel judged just by the fact I'd have to refer them to someone else. I don't know.

Mostly I try to avoid the subject and focus on where positive improvements can be made in areas like sex education, better and easier-to-use contraception, better support for mothers, etc... Probably putting my head in the sand.

guacatrole · 28/12/2018 15:52

^formerbabe - is it beyond belief that one can enjoy sex using contraception at the same time?
If you don't want to have children, contraception is the way to go. if you are too stupid to use it, or too stupid to think you need to, well then, maybe sex is not for you.^

Even vasectomies aren't 100% Certainly not any contraception that has a risk of human error.

guacatrole · 28/12/2018 15:53

Having had an abortion I can confirm they're a lot worse than using contraception and I wouldn't have had one in lieu of it. No one would.

JacquesHammer · 28/12/2018 15:53

If you don't want to have children, contraception is the way to go. if you are too stupid to use it, or too stupid to think you need to, well then, maybe sex is not for you

Could you point me towards the stats for a contraception that has 100% efficacy?

LadyRenoir · 28/12/2018 15:53

@guacatrole - Sex should be fun. But it should also be responsible. People who are not responsible maybe should think twice, that's what I am saying. As for abortion in case of rape, I am not sayin it's 'OK', but I can see it more of an argument rather than 'Crap I forgot to take my pill'. I am in no position to tell raped women how to feel. I would think I would want to keep my baby.

JacquesHammer · 28/12/2018 15:53

Having had an abortion I can confirm they're a lot worse than using contraception and I wouldn't have had one in lieu of it. No one would

WTBE · 28/12/2018 15:54

I think alot of people are in the grey area with regards to late term abortions, using abortion as contraception etc. But realistically you either think a woman has full right over what happens to her body or you don't. The rest is personal decisions which thankfully, you don't have to choose if you don't want to!

BrokenWing · 28/12/2018 15:54

Everybody is entitled to their opinion of course and I don't think badly of anybody who has had a termination and I don't judge.

But surely if you don't believe they should have been allowed to make that decision you are judging (just not admitting to it)?

Original poster

Teeandee · 28/12/2018 15:55

To elaborate on my OP when I said I respect people's decisions what I meant was that whilst I won't judge somebody I don't know for having one, I still don't agree with abortion in almost all circumstances.

I have however definitely judged somebody harshly based on their nonchalance about having multiple abortions having done nothing to prevent the pregnancies in the first place. I have very strong feelings of distain towards people who use abortion as a form of contraception.

I think the only situation I'd understand personally would be if the baby was terminally ill and likely to be in extreme suffering at birth and inevitably pass away. If aborting would mean the baby suffered less then I would force myself to do what's right for the baby and do whatever causes them the least amount of suffering.

I would never abort a baby or support abortion of a child with disabilities such as downs or spina bifida as they are still able to have a quality of life.

I'm both a mum and a birth mother. My birth son was the product of an abusive relationship in which I was raped multiple times. I don't believe I should have aborted him based on who his father is and what he had done to me. I believe he had a right to life.

OP posts:

ElonMask · 28/12/2018 15:55

And what about all those women who never want children? Should they just pack it all in now and head to the nunnery?

It might seem incredible to you that sex carries a risk of pregnancy, but there you have it. Do you think that women historically felt it was their right to have a state guarantee they would not have to deal with being pregnant or giving birth ? Neither are totally reasonable when you think about it.

guacatrole · 28/12/2018 15:55

Apparently no woman is allowed to be pro life because it is misogyny. Is telling woman what to think not misogyny?

Arguing with a point of view is not misogyny.

Women having to take boats to England to get end wanted pregnancies with fetuses that are dying inside of them is misogyny.

Userplusnumbers · 28/12/2018 15:55

@Drogosnextwife

This has actually been a ~surprisingly~ respectful exchange of views, please provide examples of where pro-choicers have 'attacked' anyone on this thread?

speakout · 28/12/2018 15:55

So OP are you also against forms of contraception which work because a fertilized egg is discarded?

Methods such as the coil and the contraceptive pill ( where several mechanisms work in tandem) prevent a fertiised egg from developing into a baby.

Are you against these too?

Is every sperm sacred? Every egg?

Should church have such a say over fertility?

thefinn · 28/12/2018 15:55

I probably could never terminate excluding medical reasons. But I just can't see why I would have any right to interfere on other's lives at such a difficult time. Me being a taxpayer is still not reason enough. But should anyone want my opinion I would always recommend to choose to have the baby, and not leave it at that.. but really then help.

LadyRenoir · 28/12/2018 15:55

@JacquesHammer - of course nothing is 100%- but if you REALLY don't want a child, a pill and a condom should do the trick. It's not rocket science.

TwistedStitch · 28/12/2018 15:56

If you think people who have unplanned pregnancies are irresponsible people who are too stupid to be having sex how exactly will throwing an unwanted baby into the mix help matters?

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