To tell DP they're not staying?

[NomsQualityStreets]

DP is very passionate about his hobby and has now taken on a proactive/responsible role in the club that he is in.
Last month he announced that his friend who lives abroad but used to live here in the UK (I met him a few times) and his relative are visiting soon as he's also involved in the hobby and they will be going to a talk/seminar about it and will be doing a few more bits to do with it whilst he's here and they will stay with us.
I told him very clearly that this won't work and to make alternative arrangements , we have a small 2 bed terrace with 2 DCs who are 1yo and 3yo and a DDog and we are already overcrowded. DC1 is in the box room and DC2 is still in our bedroom in the cot as he wakes up sometimes, downstairs consists only of a kitchen and small lounge which gets occupied as soon as either of the DCs wake up which could be as early as 5.45 am. Also the dog needs letting out in the morning around 6am and she usually sleeps in the lounge.

Anyway he mentioned this month about the friends visiting and I asked what have they done about the sleeping arrangements and he said they will just have to stay in the lounge on a blow up mattress.
AIBU to tell him that's not happening unless he wants me and the DCs to bugger off to my parents for the whole time they're here? Im not very social and need my space, I hate hosting and the idea of being potentially stuck at home with the non English speaking relative of dhs friend and having to entertain/host and the sheer awkwardness is already making me twitch - he assures me that wont happen and relative is coming with them but I don't buy it.
And the general idea of us all just kind of shuffling past each other to get anywhere and cramming ourselves into the small spaces of the house just makes me feel exhausted already.
AIBU?

Your DP is a selfish fucker, isn’t he?

I think I would be so bloody minded about this I would stay and then make no effort whatsoever with the guests. I’d cook for myself and the children but then that is it. I would do nothing to prepare the house for them and I wouldn’t be so much as making a cup of tea for them. They are your DP’s guests so he can do all of the hosting. I would also make sure that if he needs any clothing or equipment to be ready for the weekend it wouldn’t be me doing it.

OP, if you let this go once you can expect it to be a regular occurrence.

Btw what is the hobby?

YABslightlyU it's 3 days. You can bumble through for the sake of DH.

However YANBU given that he went ahead and said ok without coming to an agreement with you, I would be pissed off for that reason.

Flummoxed are you surprised that sexims exits? Has it passed you by al this time?

sexism exists! Bit finger-tied.

@baronet - why should she? Because if she doesn’t, she’s going to come home to a giant fucking mess and be expected to clean up after these people - or have to live in it until he gets over his sulks. No ducking way would I leave my own house without VERY clear expectations about what I expect to return to if other fuckers are staying there - especially if I my original feelings on the subject had not been heard in the first place anyway!!! He is being a sexist twat, and all the “wifework” involved with hosting is going to be his job!!!

Book yourself a few nights in a nice hotel, and leave him to it if everything will be as fine as he suggests.
Or go to your parents and enjoy the peace and quiet.
If he won't listen, then why stress? Let him get stressed with your kids painting the guests, or the dog waking them at 6am.

I love an anonymous hobby thread.

I'm guessing metal detectorists. point entirely

^^ meant to say, missing the point entirely!

Actually, I've changed my mind - you shouldn't go away for the 3 nights, you should go away for an entire week.

That way he will have to live with whatever mess he creates and assumes you'll clear up - and tbh, if you return after a week and it's STILL a pigging mess, just walk out again and say you'll be back when he's sorted it out.

I absolutely would not have a stranger staying in my house. Your husband must be crazy, even before you consider the size of the house, only one bathroom, kids, dog etc.

It's your home too.
And you said no.

Ynbu. There's no room logistically. He's an idiot with his head in the clouds.

It’s going to be very cramped. Have you decided what you will do?

Can they not stay at your parents?😂

He wants strangers to come from overseas and stay in your house with your small children?!? You have no idea who these people are! No way I’d have strangers overnight near my kids from a safety point of view mainly. Have they been CRB checked? Do they have a criminal record? If you do go to your parents (which is what I would do) make sure you take your personal documents with you eg passport, bank stuff. I say that as somebody who had things stolen by a housemates foreign guests. Please be careful what you leave lying around.

It's his home too and he said yes.

Go to your mum's and let him sort it. It's a one off.

I would be so, so, so unhappy if my husband agreed to such an arrangement.

I'd force him to cancel.

This sounds horrendous.

Your DH needs to tell them your house is too small for that many people and sort out other accommodation for them. He has promised he can find somewhere for them to stay so he needs to do that. Someone else's house connected with the hobby maybe?

Tell your DH he's living in cloud-cuckoo land if he thinks his visitors are staying in your already cramped house!
It's his problem for not listening to you, so let him sort it out.

Go to your parents but 'bank it' as a three day 'break' him, then book yourself something with friends and he can take the children for three days so you can go have some fun

When we lived in our old house dp invited his brother up to stay on the sofa. The house was like yours in that downstairs was just a kitchen and a living room which you had to walk through to get to the kitchen. I had a 6 month old who still woke in the night and a 2 and 5 year old who got up early. I told him if he wants he can invite him, BUT he has to do all night feeds and early mornings as I refuse to go in the room, disturbing him either in my pjs or having to get dressed every time. Needless to say, the offer was revoked. Men (yes I know namalt) can be so inconsiderate.

So DP announces - doesn't ask - that two people are staying at yours. You say you aren't comfortable with this, for good reason - we live in a pokey 2 bed flat & one extra guest is a frigging nightmate - and he ignores you & invites them anyway?

So how many times do you have to accept this? Because it won't stop there if he is heading up the club. Tell him he's a selfish arse & YOU will go to a nice hotel. Leaving him two children, a dog & his guests to deal with

It's funny how no one has thought that the OP landing in on her DMs unexpectedly for 3 nights with DC will generate the same amount of bed making and meal preparation as the other guests.

OP I think you should go to your DMs but make sure you're contributing and not causing extra work for her as then she's the person paying the price for DHs guests ( although I'm sure she loves having you to stay)

rookiemere I'm sure OP doesn't need your advice on how to relate to her own mother ffs.

rookiemere, I'm with you. I don't have the rooms nor beds or bedding anymore.