I'm such an idiot, I want to cry

[SOSHelp]

Not AIBU but need some serious advice and kind words right now.

We are getting married next June, and paid £250 deposit for the catering. I have now found out the venue is closing down.

After frantically emailing and calling, I was given contact details for the (former) owner to contact for my deposit. She said she is nothing to do with the business or accounts anymore, left last month, and is now living abroad. She then gave me a number for another owner. I spoke to him, and he said the first owner has taken all the money. I don't know who to believe.

I can not believe I have lost this money. I am trying to get through to the police but unsure if there's anything they can do? Does anyone know what I can do?

Jointly and severally liable. Auto correct!

If they have not limited their personal liability to the company by creating a Ltd company then both owners would be jointly personally liable regardless of either of them nicking off with the money. I would find out where they live and send a letter there.

People are being very presumptuous to say £250 is nothing - not everyone's weddings cost thousands you know.

Whose names are on your contract (terms and conditions)? You have a claim against those names, whether individuals or a limited company.

If you have an address then you could try a Letter Before Action which might give them a fright.

www.citizensadvice.org.uk/law-and-courts/legal-system/taking-legal-action/small-claims/making-a-small-claim/

www.which.co.uk/consumer-rights/letter/letter-before-small-claims-court-claim

@AngelinaNeurosurgeon the company name is on the Ts and Cs

@slashlover I have the address of the premises but they have been vacated. I don't have their home/personal addresses

So your claim is against the limited company, assuming it exists. You say you can't find it on Companies House so I'm wondering whether it did ever exist or was just the trading name for the person you have been dealing with. I think the chances of you recovering your money are slim but issuing a claim and getting judgment may give you some satifaction knowing that will affect that person's credit record in the future.
You can issue against the last known address of the person, you don't have to have their current address.

The only idiot on this thread is the failed would be police interrogator

btw.

You might want to cry, but you aren't an idiot. There's thousands of people who've lost deposits and more on holidays, furniture, home improvements, bridalwear, and so on, never mind out and out scams. I hate paying deposits on anything.

SOSHelp you're not an idiot, honestly.

Your DP though - why is he angry with you? Are you sure you want to marry this guy?

TBH, if your DP reacts this way, maybe the 250 were a lucky loss and you can consider it a sign you shouldn't be spending/wasting your life with him.
He's a stupid twat.

Brizzle I think you can add the OP’s Dfiance to that list.

You aren’t an idiot OP, but you definitely need to tell anyone else that says that to do one.

I think you can add the OP’s Dfiance to that list.

Yes, quite possibly. I hope he's not on the thread though.

Are you sure this woman is living abroad or has she just told you she is?

You are not an idiot. The 50% deposit was entirely normal. The lady who has cleared off abroad has probably left far more than just her debt to you behind her. My apparently lovely ex neighbour did this in very similar circumstances, she was a secondhand furniture dealer (antique is too posh a word for her stock), she closed up and ran away over a bank holiday weekend. It was heartbreaking when a young couple turned up with a van they'd rented to pick up a huge pile of furniture they'd bought the week before. I gave them her mobile phone number which was the only info I had.

Meanwhile, yy CAB, and also, if your Dear Fiance is being such an arse about this are you sure about marrying him at all?

One of the best weddings I went to was in a hall. Instead of presents everyone bought a dish

Same here!

Home made table decorations - daft party games!

It was a wonderful wedding - the best I've ever been to. The young couple were so happy! It was magical!

SOS- I can well understand that it must have knocked you sick to lose such a huge proportion of your budget. Do as others have suggested (contact CAB etc). Put your DP right regarding whose "fault" it is - (clue: NOT yours), though he is probably just as upset as you and is taking it out on the wrong person (not that that is an excuse).

You are unlikely to get the money back, I'm afraid - though you may - but you can still have a lovely wedding!

Oh - Pinterest usually has lots of ideas for economical decorations etc which are easy to make.

Tough though it is I would focus on planning a new wedding party within your new budget or else looking at ways to raise the lost funds. Can you earn an extra £10 a week between you? Do a bit of overtime or babysitting?

Look at imaginative ways to host a lovely small party without breaking the bank or getting into debt. The summertime and small numbers should mean you have more choice.

Agree with the notion of catering fro yourselves with some help from friends or family. It can be done and be lovely. Don’t be despondent it’s a blip not a disaster.

Friends of mine had to get married in a hurry (long story). We organised a lovely wedding for them at very short notice on a budget of about £300 (this was in 2004 but still...). People lent things, baked things, photocopied things, went to CostCo...it was a real team effort and everyone (about 30 guests) said it was fab. Really you don’t have to spend a fortune - you just need to ask for help and people will be delighted to.

You are definitely not an idiot OP. Sorry if already suggested but do you have legal cover on home insurance, they might help you try to recoup the money! Good luck and try not to let this spoil your special day. Somehow you will sort this

You are in no way an idiot, 50% deposit is standard business practice. However, you have learned a hard lesson not to pay by bank transfer - in future run a mile if that's the only way to pay!

Your DF needs to calm the fuck down and stop over-reacting. His attitude also bothers me, reminds me of my sister's DF's behaviour to her the night before their wedding, and it didn't last beyond the year. He was a c-u-next Tuesday!

If you want to go ahead with the wedding then I think pp have given you lots of food (no pun intended!) for thought! If you don't have a credit card and you're booking anything else, give a friend or family member the money and get them to book it for you.

I'd pursue your money in any cost-free way you can, but start planning on the basis that you won't get it back, then if you do, it's a bonus.

And count your lucky stars you found this out now, not immediately before the wedding. How much worse would that have been?! Good luck x

Much cheaper than a divorce.

OP I agree with the others! The best wedding I had been to was the smallest hall ever, everyone chipped in and had a buffet

I’ve been to bloody massive weddings but it just wasn’t a patch on that little wedding

Go on their social media account and review it, the new owner bought the buisiness including this money. Ask friends to share. I’m sure a new business would not like the negative press and will refund. Mention this is half your wedding money.
Don’t threaten this, that would be illegal. Just do it.

Lesson learnt. 1)Always use credit card or PayPal for large sums of money. 2) Take out insurance.
Sounds tough but if it’s a large sum of money you can’t do without then you need to be careful.
It’s a difficult time economy wise, so many businesses going bust.