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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I'm such an idiot, I want to cry

164 replies

SOSHelp · 27/12/2018 13:56

Not AIBU but need some serious advice and kind words right now.

We are getting married next June, and paid £250 deposit for the catering. I have now found out the venue is closing down.

After frantically emailing and calling, I was given contact details for the (former) owner to contact for my deposit. She said she is nothing to do with the business or accounts anymore, left last month, and is now living abroad. She then gave me a number for another owner. I spoke to him, and he said the first owner has taken all the money. I don't know who to believe.

I can not believe I have lost this money. I am trying to get through to the police but unsure if there's anything they can do? Does anyone know what I can do?

OP posts:
Lockheart · 27/12/2018 14:26

If £250 was half your budget and the catering deposit then I assume your whole budget was for venue and catering?

If so, and you can’t get your money back, then is there a local village hall you can use, or a room in a local club (i.e working men’s, conservative etc, not night club)? The remainder of your budget could feed a lot of people at a buffet including beer and wine! If it’s not a big wedding I assume you’re not feeding many, so £250 would cover a donation to the venue as well as food and drink. If you can make some of your own buffet food such as sandwiches then all the better! Or get guests to bring a bottle.

OlennasWimple · 27/12/2018 14:26

I'm confused.

If £250 was half of your total budget, then your total budget was £500. But this was only a deposit for your catering... So there were additional catering costs to pay on top, plus (presumably) venue hire, registrar fees, (presumably) something for new clothes... Even if you are doing most things yourselves and pulling in favours from friends I don't see how the sums add up Confused

persist · 27/12/2018 14:27

I think you've got some sums wrong.

vuripadexo · 27/12/2018 14:28

Presumably the OP wold prefer money back to our well wishes so she really should answer the questions.

Original poster
SOSHelp · 27/12/2018 14:31

Sorry the £250 was half the catering budget

OP posts:
Original poster
SOSHelp · 27/12/2018 14:34

No one has brought the company yet, and it's not a Ltd company.

OP posts:
Enigmam · 27/12/2018 14:35

Is the new owner prepared to honour all current bookings? I don't understand how you could buy a business and not do that at the very least.

PolkaDoting · 27/12/2018 14:35

Answer the questions asked

Grin that proper made me laugh!

Original poster
SOSHelp · 27/12/2018 14:36

There is no new owner (yet). The person why buys the premise may not even open a tea room

OP posts:
Lockheart · 27/12/2018 14:37

You said in your OP that the venue is closing down but the deposit was for catering - I presume that the catering came with the venue in that case? Is it a pub, hotel or restaurant? If so, do you know if there is a parent chain or brewery which you might be able to speak to?

Original poster
SOSHelp · 27/12/2018 14:38

It was an independent tea room

OP posts:
SparklyMagpie · 27/12/2018 14:41

@PolkaDoting me too Grin

Bobbybear10 · 27/12/2018 14:42

Your best bet would be Lawyer or CAB and see what they suggest.

SpikyHedgehogg · 27/12/2018 14:50

Answer the questions asked

I normally presume that posters on MN are female, so it's unusual that I "heard" that post in quite a deep voice!

WinnieFosterTether · 27/12/2018 14:50

The other option OP is a sad-face story in your local newspaper or in the newspaper local to the venue. Then you might get offers of help from other venues/caterers. Christmas/New Year is a very quiet news time so they'll probably publish it.

Loopytiles · 27/12/2018 14:51

Do you have a signed contract?

Whose account did you pay the deposit into? If a business account you could look the business up on Companies House website to see who owns it, the registered address and whether it is solvent.

You could email or write to the business / person you paid, outlining the facts and formally seeking your deposit back. Also seek advice from your local Trading Standards office or (if the company is insolvent) the Insolvency Service.

You might well not get anywhere but worth a try.

LuckyLou7 · 27/12/2018 14:57

Oh you poor thing. You're not an idiot. Another vote for CAB - you may get your money back. I hope you do, and hope you find somewhere nice to book - pay with a credit card this time.

There are some unpleasant people about today, what's the matter with you? Santa didn't bring you what you asked for?

GimmeGimmeHellYeah · 27/12/2018 15:03

I'm guessing you have no contract?

Mummyoflittledragon · 27/12/2018 15:03

You’re not and idiot. That’s the owner of the business, which by the sound of it is still the person, who’s gone abroad. They own / owned the premises as well, is that right? Horrid behaviour. You need advice from the cab at the very least.

Your thread is unclear, has the sale actually gone through? I’d ask the person buying the shop if they can give you any more details as to when the purchase is taking place. Perhaps you can get your money back from the proceeds of the sale.

abacucat · 27/12/2018 15:03

Any large amount over £100 needs to be paid by credit card..
Are you aware that poorer people often can not get a credit card? Seriously well off people talking rubbish annoy me.

DistanceCall · 27/12/2018 15:04

OP, this really sucks, but I'm a bit struck by the fact that the title of your post starts "I'm such an idiot".

This is sheer bad luck. You booked a venue from a dishonest person. You could not possibly know that this was going to happen. Why on earth are you flogging yourself?

Take a look at PPs' suggestions regarding small claims etc. And for God's sake, stop blaming yourself. Do you always do this when something goes wrong?

ReanimatedSGB · 27/12/2018 15:04

As a PP suggested, would you be OK with doing a sadface story? If you do it via Take A Break or Love It or one of those titles, they will almost certainly pay you in the region of £250 for some photographs of you and your DP standing outside the venue looking anguished, and an account of what happened.

Original poster
SOSHelp · 27/12/2018 15:10

I'm an idiot because I trusted them and handed over a 50% deposit.

I couldn't take the shame of being in the local paper

I don't have a credit card

The premises has not yet been sold but is not open for business

I have emailed both owners and they are blaming each other

My DP is really angry and blaming me for how much money we've lost, I don't know what to do about the wedding now

OP posts:
brizzledrizzle · 27/12/2018 15:12

The only idiot on this thread is the failed would be police interrogator

Don't beat yourself OP.

2isur2isubicurtis4me · 27/12/2018 15:14

I had wedding insurance! It doesn't cost that much.

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