Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I'm such an idiot, I want to cry

164 replies

SOSHelp · 27/12/2018 13:56

Not AIBU but need some serious advice and kind words right now.

We are getting married next June, and paid £250 deposit for the catering. I have now found out the venue is closing down.

After frantically emailing and calling, I was given contact details for the (former) owner to contact for my deposit. She said she is nothing to do with the business or accounts anymore, left last month, and is now living abroad. She then gave me a number for another owner. I spoke to him, and he said the first owner has taken all the money. I don't know who to believe.

I can not believe I have lost this money. I am trying to get through to the police but unsure if there's anything they can do? Does anyone know what I can do?

OP posts:
AssassinatedBeauty · 27/12/2018 17:51

It's not silly, some places will ask for a deposit like that, especially a small independent to avoid being out of pocket if the customer cancels.

You should be able to get the registered address from Companies House website if they were a limited company.

Original poster
SOSHelp · 27/12/2018 17:57

I can't find them on Companies House :/

OP posts:
AssassinatedBeauty · 27/12/2018 18:00

Are there any details on the terms and conditions?

Fluffyears · 27/12/2018 18:04

My cousin did s cheap reception. Local hall with licence (drinks were cheap) organised a caterer from outside to do the meal, there was a choice of beef or chicken and once tjodvwas served we all helped ourselves to potatoes and veg from bowlsmput onnthr table (vegetarian and other dietary requirements were also careered for). I can’t remember the starters or desserts. At each place setting your choices were printed so you got the right meal. The buffet was bacon or square sausage rolls and wedding cake with tea/coffee. A local
Band did the entertainment, she had 100 guests and it cost next to nothing.

LittlePaintBox · 27/12/2018 18:23

Just to say, you are not an idiot, OP, either for putting down a deposit or for not knowing about wedding insurance.

The only suggestion I can make is to make a complete nuisance of yourself to both people who might have your money, by threatening them with a small claims case, a news story or anything else that might persuade them that it would be easier to give you your money back.

I know you say you'd be embarrassed to publicise your story in the local press, but writing to any money advice column might get you some advice, and sometimes they'll make enquiries on your behalf.

The person who has taken your money should be embarrassed, you certainly shouldn't.

Thewifipasswordis · 27/12/2018 18:27

If you paid by bank or credit card just claim it through your bank as services not delivered. Easy.

Fluffyears · 27/12/2018 18:29

@thewifipasswordis please read the thread, it was a bank transfer and the bank cannot help.

Gth1234 · 27/12/2018 18:45

there won't be much you can do in practice. It could have been a lot worse.

mumsastudent · 27/12/2018 18:54

ah 16 & you so under 20 - how big is your house & do you have your own garden? or does one of your friends or relatives (so you can use theirs?) so- lets think - you don't need hall you needs upstairs room somewhere or back room - or go back to new owner & say this....(worth a try) … while you may not be responsible - as a matter of goodwill (& good advertising - because you will make sure the local paper knows about their generosity - :) & of course mumsnet! ) could they not see their way to offering you a space for your 16 guests & yourself - even if you have to pay £250 for catering (by card & with bridal insurance!!!!) - our town has a facebook page put a question on it for ideas & suggestions - imagine having a reception in a park or posh picnic?? come on mumsnet lets have other thoughts

OlennasWimple · 27/12/2018 20:17

A 50% deposit is quite normal, and is supposed to protect both you (so they don't take another booking on the same day) and them (so if you don't turn up or cancel at short notice, if they have incurred costs already they aren't out of pocket)

Honestly, it's the opposite of idiotic to put down a deposit to secure your venue

Stickerrocks · 27/12/2018 20:24

Do you have confirmation that you paid £250 and what it was for? If the original owner was a sole trader, she owes you the money. If she owned a company and the new owner has bought the shares from her, your contract still exists with the company and the new owner must fulfil it. If the new owner bought the trade but not the company, the company may still be liable for the contract you have with them.

You should initially write to the business stating that you have a contract and either expect it to be fulfilled or your deposit refunded. After that, use the Small Claims Service to get your money back.

Stickerrocks · 27/12/2018 20:25

Oops, sorry, skipped from the first page to last & may have missed some relevant info.

Original poster
SOSHelp · 27/12/2018 21:57

@Stickerrocks I have confirmation, but the owner is saying she is no longer a trader, her co-owner is. Her co-owner is selling up.

OP posts:
DistanceCall · 27/12/2018 22:14

OP, start threatening the shit out of all parties. Legal action, social media, newspapers, contacting their neighbours and families, the works.

Stickerrocks · 27/12/2018 22:15

If she was NOT trading as a company, your contract is with her, unless she formally transferred the trade to the new owner. Would you be able to PM the business name and the names of the 2 people you have spoken to, along with the part of the country you are in?

PoutySprout · 27/12/2018 22:18

The business owes you the money.

Not if they phoenixed, they don’t.

gimmeadoughnut123 · 27/12/2018 22:27

If the company isn't on companies house then more than likely it wasn't a limited company or LLP. Meaning they were probably a sole trader - Joe Bloggs trading as xxx xxx. You can pursue the individual via small claims court providing that You have some sort of evidence of payment and an agreement. It doesn't cost a lot to do and normally the threats make people pay up sharpish.

If you wanted a tea room style reception, you can hire a village hall cheaply, pick up some old china from a charity shop and do the catering yourself. Will probably cost a lot less than £250.

Original poster
SOSHelp · 27/12/2018 22:29

The problem with small claims is the woman who took the money is now living abroad, so I don't know how I can do that...

OP posts:
userschmoozer · 27/12/2018 23:18

Surely her co owner is liable?

Original poster
SOSHelp · 27/12/2018 23:20

The co-owner says she has taken all the money abroad. It all sounds very odd

OP posts:
AssassinatedBeauty · 27/12/2018 23:22

I would ignore what she says, and press on with going via the small claims court to get your money back. The co-owner is unlikely to admit liability and offer to pay you given her attitude so far.

garethsouthgatesmrs · 27/12/2018 23:34

another one saying take the coe co-owner to small claims. Its not your problem (or even likely to be true) if the other woman has moved abroad and taken all the money.

But i would take your DP's attitude as a serious warning. Do you want a lifetime of being blamed for everything that goes wrong and constantly being made to feel like an idiot? Does he do his often? Is he normally supportive and loving when you are sad and upset?

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 28/12/2018 08:09

Although it is a lot of money to you, it’s not likely to be worth spending any money on getting it back. It might be worth a small claim against the co owner that’s in the U.K.

It was not unreasonable to pay a £250 deposit.

If your DP is angry at you and remains angry at you, I wouldn’t want to go ahead with a wedding. This was not your fault.

Stickerrocks · 28/12/2018 08:16

If they were in partnership (Yoyou keep referring to co-owners which suggests a partnership) they are jointly and severely liable for the debt. This means in very simple terms that they are responsible as individuals for the money. The second partner still owes you the money even if the first partner has moved abroad. They are trying y bluff you as they don't want to repay you. They either fulfil the contract or give you your cash back.

Swipe left for the next trending thread