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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not let DS sit AS Levels?

193 replies

bluebellpillow · 26/12/2018 07:59

Ds has always been a high achiever with little effort, was predicted straight 8/9s at GCSE. He barely did any revision, laughed and joked about not wanting to 'peak too soon' and that he would be fine. Results day he got all 8s bar one 7. In honesty we were disappointed as for him he could have done better, which the school wholeheartedly agreed with. He promised to knuckle down, had learned his lesson...

I will add here that due to where we are (without outing my location) he had to move to a fee paying school in order to pursue science/maths A levels. We did this before GCSE in order to make the transition for A level as smooth as possible. Ds knows that for us this is a sacrifice we are making.

Fast forward to now and his exam results have been terrible. First set he got B,C,D,U and most recently E,C,U,U. I phoned school to discuss this, according to them he is a role pupil who just isn't working up to his full potential Hmm. He is polite, does all his homework etc so no concerns.

Ds has lofty ideas about going to top unis which whilst are within his reach are laughable at his current performance. I have told him that if his next set of exams do not significantly improve that I will pull him out of school and he can get a job until he is willing to work harder for his exams.
AIBU? I'm just so annoyed and disappointed that we are paying for him to piss it up a wall.

OP posts:
Original poster
bluebellpillow · 26/12/2018 08:02

Forgot to add we have had many discussions, he insists that he should remain with 4 AS (I suggested dropping one) and that he will get 4 As in the 'proper exams'.

OP posts:
Urbanbeetler · 26/12/2018 08:04

I don’t think it’s fair to make it about the money. If you choose to privately educate, that is your ultimate decision. Pull him out if you feel you have to but because of money not effort.

The effort - this is his decision. He has a while to pull it back - see if his latest results shock him into it. He already knows he’s disappointed you.

Urbanbeetler · 26/12/2018 08:05

If you pull him out for any other reason than that you can’t afford it, he may well hold it against you for a lifetime. He should be allowed to see it through and then see what happens. He may surprise you one way or another.

PickAChew · 26/12/2018 08:06

Ywnbu to pull him out if he doesn't pull his own finger out and make the most of the opportu ity you're paying for. I would make the AS papers the deadline, though. That gives him a few months to catch up.

MsTSwift · 26/12/2018 08:07

Maybe send him to a good state school to take the pressure off you both? My uncle hated his public school failed all his a levels did fine st a 6th form college

NeedAUsernameGenerator · 26/12/2018 08:10

These are strangely low results for an intelligent person who has been attending the classes. Is he understanding the content of the lessons? Did he choose the right courses? Is he being examined on content that he hasn't studied yet? Maybe it's just me but revision should be RE-vision (I.e. going over stuff you already know) and if he's getting a U it suggests that he essentially got nothing right in that test.

4point2fleet · 26/12/2018 08:10

He sounds a bit deluded TBH. If he were super bright and concentrating in lessons and doing his prep, he should be able to do better than that even with no revision.

Has he always been told he's really clever? If he has, I think that's probably been his undoing. He thinks hard work is for lesser mortals. There is a section about that attitude in Matthew Syed's book 'You Are Awesome'- but he's probably a bit too old for that book. Might be worth having a look at some of Syed's other books though to see if his attitude can be re-set while there is still time.

LoniceraJaponica · 26/12/2018 08:11

The problem is that he doesn't know how to work. Many bright children who sail through their GCSEs often find that A levels are a big step up from GCSEs and struggle because the concept of applying themselves is alien to them. DD started off with low grades at the beginning of year 12, but she has always had to work hard. She ended up with AAA at A level simply because she worked hard and wasn't afraid to ask her teachers for help.

What does the school say?

Daffodil77 · 26/12/2018 08:11

Fee paying aside, I think you are right to suggest it's not worth him continuing if he's not going to out in the effort.

Some people struggle to have the motivation at that age. They can't see what it's for enough to pull their finger out. My brother was a later bloomer. He left college halfway through, did other bits for a few years before going back and then on to uni.

By suggesting leaving a levels, it might make him realise that this is serious now. But as others have suggested, make this the focus not the fees. Suspect that is what you intended anyway. Good luck op!

anniehm · 26/12/2018 08:11

By law he needs to be in education or training until 18, there's no "just getting a job" now. Those not in apprenticeships ;which usually start in September) have to register for college.

There's a big step from GCSEs, dd1 got five A's and 5 A*'s at gcse but struggled with two of her a levels, getting abde at as, then bbd overall.

Original poster
bluebellpillow · 26/12/2018 08:12

We didn't choose though, he wanted to do science/maths at A level so we discussed this at length, he was made aware that this was not something we could afford easily and that he needed to work hard. That's why I feel angry and let down if I'm honest.
I'm aware too that the university offers are based on AS grades and unless he pulls himself into gear big time he won't receive a single offer.

OP posts:
Avis7 · 26/12/2018 08:13

Yeah, I'm a bit concerned there's something else going on here. If he was skating by on Bs, fair enough - in my experience, that's what the bright but lazy kids end up with. Are these mocks? Can you ask school for a copy of the papers?

LoniceraJaponica · 26/12/2018 08:16

Are you in Wales? Most English schools no longer do AS exams, so universities are taking GCSEs into account.

Teateaandmoretea · 26/12/2018 08:19

I think yabu he's only been doing A Levels for a few weeks Confused. He needs to get used to the level and then he'll find out where he fits. I'm not convinced going to a 'top university' matters that much anyway, it's more important to do a course that will lead to a job. Chill out and leave him be I reckon, ultimately it's his life and he is the one who needs to take responsibility in the end. As pp has said he has to be in education anyway and if he's immature I doubt he'd cope with an apprenticeship.

ischristmasoveryet · 26/12/2018 08:28

Why do 4 A levels ? My understanding is that schools only encourage the really bright and high achievers to do 4.

University offers are now based on 3 A level grades and unless you are not in England AS levels are no longer. Although if doing a science some schools may use that as a ' mock' at end of yr 1 because the way the science syllabus is structured.

My eldest has just applied to University and no AS levels used.

You can't just pull him out of education without a thought of what he is going to do for alternative education or on job training. Children must be in full time education or vocational training until 18.

ReflectentMonatomism · 26/12/2018 08:32

The step from GCSE to A Level is huge. There is a legitimate debate about how to solve that, but it is beyond question that compared to the step from O to A thirty years ago the step today is vast. The new GCSEs may or may not have helped, we don't know yet.

GCSE grade inflation has also given people distorted expectations: both my children got all A-star in GCSEs, but nothing like that at A Level. The step is huge.

ischristmasoveryet · 26/12/2018 08:34

You will also find that if you are in a fee paying school that if the end of this first year he is predicted poor grades after poor end of year exams he may not be asked back to complete year 2 !

riotlady · 26/12/2018 08:58

I’d be worried there’s something more going on here- yes, it’s a big step up, but a bright kid attending lessons and doing homework shouldn’t be getting multiple Us. Has he had any mocks back that you can go through with him? Is he getting the wrong end of the stick or is he panicking and not writing anything? Does he seem like himself generally or is he a bit down and withdrawn?
I do think it would be harsh to pull him out of school.

MissCharleyP · 26/12/2018 09:07

ischristmas I have worked in 2 sixth form colleges, one very good - top results, outstanding Ofsted, students getting 5 A/A* at a-level. You had to have a minimum amount of GCSEs to get in to study there. The other one took students who had lower GCSE grades and offered a couple of vocational courses but mainly AS/A level. At both you were expected to do at least 4 Alevels (or equivalent). I left the last place nearly 10 years ago so things have probably changed.

SmileEachDay · 26/12/2018 09:10

It’s perfectly possible for students who coasted and got Bs at GCSE to get Us at Alevel. He’s only been doing them for 2 terms and it’s a big jump in the way you have to think and the amount of independent work required.

I don’t think it’s fair to hold him up account for the decision to go private - yes, you discussed it, but he’s a teenager. He chose the thing that at that moment he wanted to do - he’s not responsible for the family finances and it’s doubtful he will have fully considered the implications.

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 26/12/2018 09:11

Teacher here - I taught a textbook "bright but never did any work" student a couple of years ago and he got Bs. If your DS is getting those grades, there is something odd going on. It sounds to me as if he is either not paying attention in lessons at all, not doing his homework, or not understanding the content of the lessons despite doing the first two.

I think before makng any huge decisions, you need to dig a little deeper; unfortunately, given what the school have said about him being fine but not working to his full potential, it just sounds as if his full potential isn't As and A*s. If it was, he'd be getting Cs and Bs now, not Us.

CharltonLido73 · 26/12/2018 09:11

Given that the new GCSEs are far more demanding than those they have replaced, there is less of a gap than there was between GCSE and A Level. That said, the new A levels in turn are more demanding, but pupils are generally better prepared for them than hitherto.

I taught at a boys school for many years and would say that your son is far from alone in his approach and attitude; boys tend to think that it will be alright on the night and rely on brinkmanship to get them through. This is a dangerous strategy though, and he does need to realise that he will need to pull his finger out and start working to his potential from now on if he is to succeed and that level.

To reiterate what other posters have said: he'll need to be in education or training of some kind until 18. Also, as has been said, the majority of English schools are not entering pupils for AS Levels; universities expect schools to predict A Level results based on three A Levels being taken.

Why not show him the comments and observations on this thread? It might give him a wake-up call.

ischristmasoveryet · 26/12/2018 09:14

misscharleyP things have changed with the eradication of AS although I suppose the fee paying schools will still pursue this as it boosts their 'success ' figures.

Three A levels is the norm now.

TeenTimesTwo · 26/12/2018 09:16

Would the school let you give provisional notice at the end of next term based on AS results? e.g. If he gets less than BBBC for his AS results he won't be returning?

Then you and he can see you are committed to finishing this year but after that it is up to him?

TheFirstOHN · 26/12/2018 09:19

Yes it is a jump from GCSEs to A-levels, which is why some effort is required. DS2 is at the same stage, doing four subjects (I would guess the same four), and getting A grades because he is putting the work in.

Your DS is assuming he can coast through A-levels on natural ability alone (as he probably did for GCSE).

If your DS gets those grades at the end of Y12 he probably won't be able to continue to Y13, so the decision will be made for him.

At this point it's still possible for him to turn things around and catch up, but I think the decision to do so (and the motivation) will need to come from him.

If he is looking at competitive courses at high-ranking universities, they will be looking for grade predictions in the A* to A range. In order to give these predictions, the teachers need to have evidence of this level of work. Most sixth forms use the exams at the end of Y12; deep down he probably realises that he needs to be getting A/B grades by then.