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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not let DS sit AS Levels?

193 replies

bluebellpillow · 26/12/2018 07:59

Ds has always been a high achiever with little effort, was predicted straight 8/9s at GCSE. He barely did any revision, laughed and joked about not wanting to 'peak too soon' and that he would be fine. Results day he got all 8s bar one 7. In honesty we were disappointed as for him he could have done better, which the school wholeheartedly agreed with. He promised to knuckle down, had learned his lesson...

I will add here that due to where we are (without outing my location) he had to move to a fee paying school in order to pursue science/maths A levels. We did this before GCSE in order to make the transition for A level as smooth as possible. Ds knows that for us this is a sacrifice we are making.

Fast forward to now and his exam results have been terrible. First set he got B,C,D,U and most recently E,C,U,U. I phoned school to discuss this, according to them he is a role pupil who just isn't working up to his full potential Hmm. He is polite, does all his homework etc so no concerns.

Ds has lofty ideas about going to top unis which whilst are within his reach are laughable at his current performance. I have told him that if his next set of exams do not significantly improve that I will pull him out of school and he can get a job until he is willing to work harder for his exams.
AIBU? I'm just so annoyed and disappointed that we are paying for him to piss it up a wall.

OP posts:
Littlecaf · 26/12/2018 09:21

I recall being told at the beginning of year 13 “you’re not doing as well as we thought you would”. That pepped my ideas up. He’ll get there. It’s only been a term

TheFallenMadonna · 26/12/2018 09:21

My DS was getting Es at this point in year 12. By the end of the year he was getting As and Bs. He was doing no work at all (also having breezed fairly easily through GCSE), and was astonished at the difference a bit of work made to A level success.

TheFirstOHN · 26/12/2018 09:23

For those asking why he is doing four subjects: many sixth forms will only allow students to take Further Maths if they are also taking three other subjects, so it could be that. Most sixth forms would allow an applicant with almost straight 8s to take four A-levels.

Berthatydfil · 26/12/2018 09:26

The jump from Gcse to a level is huge, and I think that for many students it’s very hard to cope with.
Mix this with a bright (lazy) student who didn’t achieve his full potential at Gcse and this is exactly what you get.
He probably coasted through his GCSEs with very little work and got good results and is expecting to carry on into a levels and his results are showing that.

It’s probably a mix of not knowing how to study, laziness, ego and disbelief at not finding it easy. I’m surprised the school haven’t flagged this up with you as a cause for concern though, as they agree he’s not working at full potential.

It’s not too late for him to turn this around though but he has to engage with this as well.

I would be expecting the school to be supporting pupils in study/revision techniques but he does need to be doing several hours home study/revision as well. He needs to come to terms with that ASAP.

With regard to him being in an independent I assume you have to give a terms notice to leave (not sure how sixth forms worth though) and the exams will be in May/June so you will have to pay for most of that time anyway so I would let him sit the exams but give him an ultimatum that he’s not going back if he doesn’t get good enough grades. He may find that if he doesn’t get above certain minimum grades he will be not be allowed to progress anyway or the school may refuse to let him go though to year 13 at all - so you may with to find out the school’s policy on this.

Original poster
bluebellpillow · 26/12/2018 09:26

Thanks for all your replies. He got one A*, seven As and a B at GCSE. The majority of those are the old style GCSEs, the school have not made the switch yet completely.

I've been trying to get to the root cause of what's happening; he says at GCSE he didn't even need to focus, he 'got' everything whereas it is a huge step up now and that is not the case. I offered to get him a tutor, but they are for 'thickos' Hmm

When he sat the entrance test for the school the HT said that the results were extremely impressive and his teachers have always praised his intellect which I don't think has helped. I spoke to his house master before the break hoping that they would give him a firm talking to, but 'he's such a bright and pleasant chap who just needs to apply himself' Hmm

He has a Saturday job and they would be more than happy to have him FT. I suggested he could do that and take a year out from school and go to FE next year but he thinks he would do even worse there as there is no pressure or demand from tutors.

OP posts:
Ellisandra · 26/12/2018 09:27

All the private schools in my area would have told you he won’t be allowed to return for A levels if those are the results he gets for AS. They are far too protective of their overall results to allow it. So, as well as you’re son’s own laziness, I’d be curious what is going on at the school here that he’s doing so badly.

GaryBaldbiscuit · 26/12/2018 09:27

If he is finding science and maths hard, which is understandable, can you move him to a state sixth form and he changes subjects.

RedHelenB · 26/12/2018 09:28

If he's paying attention in class and doing homework maybe sciences aren't for him? I agree that a bright student should be getting As/Bs at A level with minimal work. He may not be as bright as he / you think but was well prepped for gcses.

GaryBaldbiscuit · 26/12/2018 09:29

At a state sixth form you didnt used to be able to stay passed AS levels if your grades were lower than C, but these are mock results you are talking about?
I think you need a frank discussion with the school, as well as him. difficult situation since fees are coming in to it, but if you can believe the school's faith in him that is one step forward

Soontobe60 · 26/12/2018 09:32

He sounds like lots of boys I know. Bright enough at GCSE, but no strategy for independent studying so it all goes pear shaped in 6th form.
He's got the added pressure of you spending a fortune for an education which is available for free, and it sounds like he's being reminded of that constantly.
Leave him for the rest of the year, see how he gets on and then move him to a State 6th form to start again if there's no improvement. You're paying and not actually getting your money's worth; his teachers should be working out how to help him, not just you.

BikeRunSki · 26/12/2018 09:38

The problem is that he doesn't know how to work. Many bright children who sail through their GCSEs often find that A levels are a big step up from GCSEs and struggle because the concept of applying themselves is alien to them. DD started off with low grades at the beginning of year 12, but she has always had to work hard. She ended up with AAA at A level simply because she worked hard and wasn't afraid to ask he
Totally agree.
There is a big difference between knowing the syllabus and knowing how to communicate this on an exam paper at A level. A levels were by far the hardest exams I took for this reason. Does the school provide tuition in writing exam answers?

I also green about not making about money, frustrating though that may be.

Original poster
bluebellpillow · 26/12/2018 09:38

I have great faith in his potential, but not great faith in his ability to knuckle down which has disappointed me the most. If he didn't have the ability I would be fine with that, but he does and would rather stare at his bedroom wall than study. (I've tried taking away phone and switching Wifi off)

It's highly unlikely the school will kick him out, he plays a sport which is very important to the school and in previous years they have bent rules backwards for these pupils.

OP posts:
ErrolTheDragon · 26/12/2018 09:40

For students genuinely aspiring to top STEM courses where FM is highly desirable, a lot of the other applicants will be doing 4 subjects, and will have A*s in their predicted grades. I'm not sure where you can be that there's no state sixth form college in reach offering science/maths A levels, but it may be that in addition to some combination of laziness/undeveloped study skills he's suffering from 'big fish in a little pond' syndrome - if previously he could outshine many in his cohort with little effort maybe he's got an inflated sense of his own abilities.

Original poster
bluebellpillow · 26/12/2018 09:41

They are also spoon fed, given all past papers/examiners reports etc so he has good support both in school and at home, which just makes it even more frustrating.

OP posts:
CharltonLido73 · 26/12/2018 09:41

Thanks for all your replies. He got one A, seven As and a B at GCSE. The majority of those are the old style GCSEs, the school have not made the switch yet completely.*

When did he sit his GCSEs? In 2017 English and Maths were graded 9 - 1 and in 2018 most other subjects followed suit. A few are still to be graded under the new system in 2019, but less common subjects. I don't see how he could have had these grades unless he sat them all in 2016. The school does not have the option to choose.

Veganforlife · 26/12/2018 09:43

Why move him private if you can't afford it? Why is he doing 4 a levels .you don't need 4 to get to uni..it's given you a nice chunk of control over him ,hasn't it? You sending him private.now you can stamp your feet and demand his performance for your money....you should of left him in a state school ,but well that didn't give you power to meddle did it.

ErrolTheDragon · 26/12/2018 09:47

Some posters on this thread seem to have poor comprehension skills...in the OP
due to where we are (without outing my location) he had to move to a fee paying school in order to pursue science/maths A levels.

TeenTimesTwo · 26/12/2018 09:48

Charlton Wales and iGCSEs still have letters I believe.

Saracen · 26/12/2018 09:51

"It's highly unlikely the school will kick him out, he plays a sport which is very important to the school and in previous years they have bent rules backwards for these pupils."

In that case, perhaps you can get the school onboard by telling them that if his work ethic doesn't appear by the end of the year, you will move him. If they really want to keep him because of his sporting achievements, that might prompt them to give him the stern talk and/or encouragement which he needs to improve his academic results.

CharltonLido73 · 26/12/2018 09:53

Charlton Wales and iGCSEs still have letters I believe.

Thanks. I which case the OP's son did not get "all 8s bar one 7" as stated in post 1.

Grade 8 under the new system is more difficult to achieve than an A at GCSE (more like a 7 under the new system).

It may be that the young man is not as naturally gifted as has been thought.

Shimy · 26/12/2018 09:55

He got one A*, seven As and a B at GCSE. The majority of those are the old style GCSEs, the school have not made the switch yet completely.

Just gently pointing out OP that if that’s the case, you misread the results slightly. A 9 is higher than an A*. Therefore what he got was actually seven 7s, one 8 and one 6.

MojoMoon · 26/12/2018 09:56

Well, there seems little point in pulling him out of school before he sits his actual as level exams in May - it is only five months away.

He has enough time to pull grades up if he buckles down.
If he doesn't, then results day in August will show that and he probably won't be allowed to continue onto A2 anyway.
If you pull him out of school, it will be your fault he doesn't get as levels. If he stays until May and screws them up, it is his fault.

He is not a little kid - he needs to be responsible for his own results. Let him sit the AS papers and see what happens.

He needs to be in some form of education or training until he is 18 so he doesn't have the option of either not doing anything or taking on some work which doesn't have any training attached to it.

Would be a good idea to get some prospectuses from local vocations or FE colleges plus gather together websites where apprenticeships etc are advertised. But just leave them somewhere for him to look at - don't try and control it.

Shimy · 26/12/2018 09:58

Cross posts with charlton.

5fivestar · 26/12/2018 10:00

You can’t pull him out of education you can stop supporting him which will go down like a lead balloon. If you’ve paid all these years I’d suggest you do value his education kick him up the arse but I suspect it’ll be you that’s sadder if you withdrew him from school at this stage.

AnotherPidgey · 26/12/2018 10:01

You can be spoonfed to great GCSE results, but A-Levels need more depth of thought than that.

I found the transition tough and struggled with the depth of detail in y12. In y13, it clicked and with good revision managed to master the tough spots from y12 and got better than expected results in y13 (old linear A-Levels which I think the system has swung back towards in approach).

It took time to learn the techniques to answer well. GCSEs are largely point marked. A longer answer will be "level marked" for its depth, but is still quite easy for a bright person to pick up most marks. A-level is much more level based on the depth of a critical response. Regurgitating memorised facts won't get you far.