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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not let DS sit AS Levels?

193 replies

bluebellpillow · 26/12/2018 07:59

Ds has always been a high achiever with little effort, was predicted straight 8/9s at GCSE. He barely did any revision, laughed and joked about not wanting to 'peak too soon' and that he would be fine. Results day he got all 8s bar one 7. In honesty we were disappointed as for him he could have done better, which the school wholeheartedly agreed with. He promised to knuckle down, had learned his lesson...

I will add here that due to where we are (without outing my location) he had to move to a fee paying school in order to pursue science/maths A levels. We did this before GCSE in order to make the transition for A level as smooth as possible. Ds knows that for us this is a sacrifice we are making.

Fast forward to now and his exam results have been terrible. First set he got B,C,D,U and most recently E,C,U,U. I phoned school to discuss this, according to them he is a role pupil who just isn't working up to his full potential Hmm. He is polite, does all his homework etc so no concerns.

Ds has lofty ideas about going to top unis which whilst are within his reach are laughable at his current performance. I have told him that if his next set of exams do not significantly improve that I will pull him out of school and he can get a job until he is willing to work harder for his exams.
AIBU? I'm just so annoyed and disappointed that we are paying for him to piss it up a wall.

OP posts:
MaisyPops · 27/12/2018 08:50

I can't get over people calling a group of A grades 'low' and saying he's not suited to a levels. What needs to be done to impress you people
They aren't a bad set of results, but they are low if you're claiming a child is very bright.
Equally, a child with those results and a poor work ethic and an over-inflated sense of their own innate ability is not the sign of a student who will succeed at a top university.
There's the whole big fish, small pond thing here, and I'm not entirely convinced her son is a particularly big fish. Applying to top STEM courses will be hundreds of applicants with straight A/A* at A Level and 8s/9s at GCSE and the required work ethic.
In short, he is probably reasonably bright but lazy and over-confident. If he wants to get to the courses he wants then he needs a bit of humility and a massive shift in attitude.
OP shouldn't be holding fees over his head though. A teenager shouldn't have the weight of family finances on them.

supermum85 · 27/12/2018 08:59

he must be in full time education until 18 so if he leaves the school he cant just get a job

Bugsymalonemumof2 · 27/12/2018 09:01

I think I was like him. I was predicted straight a*s, ended up with a mix of As and Be. Then flunked my first set of AS exams which is in reality set in. Ended up with AABB by the time I finished A2. I need to fail, not just do ok but not up to where I could be, for it to sink in.

Hopefully he has learnt his lesson

ReflectentMonatomism · 27/12/2018 09:06

he must be in full time education until 18

Threads like this are a sort of “wildly nonsensical shit people say at school gates and pass along not realising it’s nonsense” bingo.

supermum85 · 27/12/2018 09:07

i feel like no one knows what these numbers mean...

an 8 is an A*. a 7 is an A.
pretty great gcse results.

mirialis · 27/12/2018 09:24

I think the current U grades should be a bigger focus than the GCSE grades. I really think he needs independent assessment on his natural ability in Maths from a proper Maths tutor as well as a look at his general approach and conceptual understanding. If he is strongly numerate but not gifted at maths, for example, but getting As at A level is the most important thing to him, then perhaps he would be better switching one or two of his subjects.

I may have missed it but I don't think the OP has said what it is that he actually wants to do at uni and beyond, but I notice she said they moved him to the Maths and Science school before GCSEs, so he made that decision quite young. Mabye it wasn't the right one for him. I got A* in Maths at GCSE but I'm by no means a gifted mathematician and knew I would struggle to get As at A level and didn't love the subject so opted for subjects I enjoyed more where I had a better chance of getting As. It depends on what his priorities are but spending money for him to get Us because he's not putting in the effort (both because he can't be bothered and because he doesn't understand what putting in the effort means) is madness when that money could still be reserved for his education but put to more effective use.

bumblingbovine49 · 27/12/2018 09:31

He got very good GCSEs He just needs to drop one A level, learn better study skills and up the work he does.
I got 12 Olevels with minimal.work ( yes that old but I gather the new GCSEs are quite similar no coursework etc). Then DDD at Alevel ( maths, physics, chemistry). I also severely underestimated what I would need to do and my parents were loving but very uninvolved in my education so I had no help from there. I still got into a top Russell group university and got a 2:1 in a STEM subject ( even in the 80s universities struggled to get STEM students ). This was in the day when 2:1s were much rarer than 2:2s which were the standard degrees

. In my view Alevel were harder than university work in that I expected university to be hard and to struggle with the work.
I found the second year particularly punishing. I hadnt really expected it for A level for some reason and by the time I realised how behind I was I didn't have the right study skills and wasn't sure where to get help. You really did get much less help in those days even from schools.
I am sure your son will do fine with your support OP. Show him this thread,.most of which would have been helpful to me at A level and get tutor to help him with his study skills. Tell him you believe he will do.well as long as he puts in effort but that everyone needs a bit of help now and then as well. Good luck to him and you

LoniceraJaponica · 27/12/2018 09:34

"I got A* in Maths at GCSE but I'm by no means a gifted mathematician and knew I would struggle to get As at A level and didn't love the subject so opted for subjects I enjoyed more where I had a better chance of getting As"

That was exactly what DD did.

"an 8 is an A*. a 7 is an A.
pretty great gcse results."

I agree, but mumsnet has many parents of truly exceptional children, and nothing short of 8s and 9s or all A* will satisfy them.

MaisyPops · 27/12/2018 09:35

an 8 is an A. a 7 is an A.*
No they're not.

Where there were 2 grades (A/A*) there are now 3 ( 7 8 9).
A 7 is like a low A, an 8 is like the top of an A to bottom of A and a 9 is the very top of an A. That's a rough working out because the courses themselves are more difficult so if I was going to compare like for like getting a B on the old GCSE English was easier than getting a 6 on the new spec.

Point being, whilst the OP's son is clearly reasonably able, he's not exceptionally bright and combined with a poor work ethic and an misplaced belief that he gets things without working then it's hardly surprising he is finding A Levels tough

NameChangeOhNameChange1 · 27/12/2018 09:36

I was intelligent but lazy at school. I did zero revision and barely turned up coasted along. My A Levels are ABB.

A child that is getting Ds, Es and Us at A Level is just simply not academic. As a PP has said, if he's as bright as he thinks he is he would be coasting along on Bs, maybe the odd Cs.

mirialis · 27/12/2018 09:42

Well that's bollocks as I was on Ds and Es at that stage and got As, a First and a Distinction. He may not be doing the right subjects or he may simply be lacking in conceptual understanding but it's ridiculous to label him as "simply not academic".

borntobequiet · 27/12/2018 09:42

I teach apprentices and we see a fair few with histories similar to your son’s. (They don’t have to attend my classes as they have the grades, but I oversee initial assessments and chat to them). Most go on to be successful and valued employees or opt for self employment, again successfully. They have a sense of self worth and are able to apply their intelligence and problem solving skills in practical ways. (A few crash and burn because they can’t apply themselves in any situation and their employers let them go, but they are very much the minority). Some of them play sport seriously, even semi-pro. It would be worth considering, but you would need to make sure you find a decent employer and training provider.

LoniceraJaponica · 27/12/2018 09:42

Threads are full of people comparing when they did A levels to now. This is completely irrelevant as the exams are different now.

I suspect you could coast on the old spec A levels and get those grades NameChangeOhNameChange1, but like GCSEs the specs have changed and they are tougher and linear these days. I doubt you would have got those grades with very little work now.

Grilledaubergines · 27/12/2018 09:44

I can’t get past you being disappointed that he got all A* except for one A. How could you be disappointed with that?

mirialis · 27/12/2018 09:45

Because he was predicted higher grades and didn't put his full effort in.

Grilledaubergines · 27/12/2018 09:48

I could understand totally if he’d been predicted 8s and got 4/5 (C?). But he was predicted 8/9s and got 8s.

MaisyPops · 27/12/2018 09:49

Grilledaubergines
He didn't get loads of A*.
He got one A, seven As and a B at GCSE*
Good results but nothing particularly exceptional (our top high achievers get 10/11 GCSE largely grade 8s with a couple of 9s and our high achievers get largely 8s and 9s with a couple of 7s. We are a state comprehensive.)

MaisyPops · 27/12/2018 09:50

Quote fail- He got one A*, seven As and a B at GCSE (from the OP who clarified they'd mistranslated grades across to numbers.

Fairylights2021 · 27/12/2018 09:56

Can you sit down and talk to him. The jump between GCSE and A-level maths and science is huge. If he was coasting while taking his GCSEs and has continued to do so there is every chance that he’s fallen behind in his understanding of the work at A-level and needs some help catching up. The pace of A-levels is so much faster and can be a real shock for bright pupils as many find that for the first time they really need to put some effort in to keep up. Rather than challenging him about it I’d try talking to him from the angle that you’re concerned, ask him how he’s finding it and try to get to the bottom of what’s going on and find out if he needs some help getting things on track. I wouldn’t automatically assume that he’s doing it delebrately or that it’s purely a result of lack of effort. The transition from GCSE to A-level can be a shock!

Grilledaubergines · 27/12/2018 09:56

Ok, sorry, I read all 8s, bar one 7 from the op. Which would be all A*, bar one A.

Grilledaubergines · 27/12/2018 09:59

I’m sure most know the changes, but just in case.

To not let DS sit AS Levels?
noblegiraffe · 27/12/2018 10:09

The OP got the grades wrong and clarified the letter grades in a later post.

Grilledaubergines · 27/12/2018 10:10

Ah ok.

FanDabbyFloozy · 27/12/2018 10:12

I would be livid with the school for such a laissez faire attitude. They should be lining up a tutor for each subject and really getting to the bottom of his issues - is he struggling to understand in class?
Also - and I hate to mention this - is he boarding? Is there any chance he could have gotten in with a difficult peer group who are taking drugs/skipping class?

Many people think independent schools are better at supporting pupils and lots probably are. But others can overlook the bright underachieving kids who seem just great in their cohort. Only you can tell if this is the case with this particular school.

ReflectentMonatomism · 27/12/2018 10:13

But there is no direct equivalence between grades for different syllabuses taken in a different format. All it says is that in general, most people from a large cohort who got this grade in this exam would be likely to get that grade in that exam, given equivalent study and all other circumstances the same. But for individuals the error bars on that are a mile wide.