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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect NOT to be called a troll if I post a thread hoping for advise?

50 replies

StarryStarryNight · 26/06/2007 20:08

It has happened a few times now, and I have only been here a month! I post a thread about something I am concerned about, and then somebody comes in and insinuate I am a troll. It is not nice. Why do people do that? Why do they assume troll? And it is not as if it is something controversial at all!

OP posts:
HuwEdwards · 26/06/2007 20:10

dunno starry, but rise above it, don't let it stop you

UnConfident · 26/06/2007 20:13

Do you post in reply on other threads?

I change my name often for different things

Sometimes all it takes is to post in answer on other threads so your name becomes known

Original poster
StarryStarryNight · 26/06/2007 20:20

I do post replies on other threads. I am not changing my names for different threads, but have recently gone from milkchocolate to milkchocolateStarryStarryNight then arrived at StarryStarryNight which suits me better.

But why accuse me of trolling? I posted a question about cooking without beef and pork, and that took off, and somebody called me a troll. Beyond me.

I mean, if your only contribution is to call somebody a troll, isnt that trolling, really? And why contribute with a troll insinuation?

Am I taking it too personally?

OP posts:
WriggleJiggle · 26/06/2007 20:21

Have you changed you name much? Looks like you've only been called a troll the once, and that was in the middle of quite a long thread with loads of people trying to help. Give people a chance, everyone gets one or two negative responses once in a while.

WriggleJiggle · 26/06/2007 20:23

Sorry, crosspost. Yes, you're taking things far too seriously. Remember this isn't real life.

lulumama · 26/06/2007 20:23

I think you are taking it a tiny teeny weeny bit personally

no pitchforks or angry mob was involved

sometimes people find it hard to imagine an unusual situation that they wouldn;t contemplate , is actually true

shrug it off...

Original poster
StarryStarryNight · 26/06/2007 20:27

Thanks guys. I guess I just find it hard to settle here. I do get lots of replies on threads I post (mostly) which I am really grateful for, but I feel like the most unpopular mumsnetter in the world as when I post on other threads I am hardly noticed, and so often I see that my reply is the last on the thread. Here I come, butting in, disturbing perfectly good conversation, and everbody leaves. Sorry, just haveing a sad and emotional day.

OP posts:
Rachmumoftwo · 26/06/2007 20:27

What is a troll? Apart from a little toy with a lot of brightly coloured hair? This is a genuine question. Thank you.

babygrand · 26/06/2007 20:28

Was going to ask that too.

Original poster
StarryStarryNight · 26/06/2007 20:29

I think it is somebody who is just posting to stir trouble. Not because they have a genuine question, just a trouble maker.

Lulumama, it also happened on a post just after I joined, cant remember which one now.

OP posts:
MuminBrum · 26/06/2007 20:29

It was me! I'm so sorry, Starry, I really didn't mean to offend - it was just that the situation you described sounded so outlandish, I couldn't believe it was real. Not so much the cooking witout beef and pork, but that your DH invited two individuals who you don't know that well into your home for a month, and then they were so ignorant of basic social convention that they wouldn't even try something as innocuous as cereal or toast for breakfast! I've spent a lot of time in India and in Indian homes, so I'm not coming to this from a position of complete ignorance. Please accept my apologies. It sounds like you've got enough on your plate without worrying about this!

doggiesayswoof · 26/06/2007 20:31

Occasionally some posters are too quick to shout 'troll'

It's all part of the rough and tumble though, and I guess your thread described an unusual situation (friends staying with you for a month)

However that was only one post - many many others were helpful and you got lots of advice.

I think it's a shame if your overriding memory of your other thread is that someone called you a troll. Look at it positively and shrug off the one negative comment

doggiesayswoof · 26/06/2007 20:33

x-posts muminbrum

Also don't worry about killing off threads. I do that all the time and also get ignored etc. MN is a very big place, it's not personal.

lulumama · 26/06/2007 20:33

erm, i guess then you have been unlucky.. please don;t dwell on it

MarshaBrady · 26/06/2007 20:35

hey starrystarrynight. hello from our away from home thread. Im glad i found out you changed your name from milkchoc otherwise wouldnt have recognised you.
Have a big from me

Original poster
StarryStarryNight · 26/06/2007 20:35

Thanks MuminBrum, apology accepted

doggysayswoof, I have taken all the fab comments on board, I am not letting this override it (ok a little, but that is because I am having a really really bad week, with having zapped my mobile in water, had my car crashed into by a dumpertruck and it will be in the garage for 3 weeks and we only get courtesy car for 2 weeks, and I cut my finger, got septicaemia and have been on intravenous antibiotics drip, and 4 different kinds of antibiotics so far, AND we have houseguests. sorry I am just SAD)

OP posts:
MuminBrum · 26/06/2007 20:39

Oh Starry! You poor soul! The houseguests just sound like a bridge too far at the moment. Your DH owes you bigtime!

nightowl · 26/06/2007 20:55

dont worry starry, everyone gets posted around from time to time, everyone kills threads, and everyone always feels like its personal!

it took two years for someone to actually call me by name and say they agreed with me!

it was a proud moment...and hasn't happened much since

anniebear · 26/06/2007 20:58

StarryStarryNight , you can't be killig any threads...thats my job

I post then thats it, no more posts

lulumama · 26/06/2007 20:59

hope things improve soon xxx

Rachmumoftwo · 26/06/2007 21:04

In my limited mumsnet experience I have found that there are some people who can be a little harsh, but there are many many lovely people too. The harsh ones are probably lovely too (can you tell they scare me), but sometimes can come across as quite judgemental. I think the trick is to not take it personally, and remember that posts can be read and understood in different ways. I'm sure no-one really sets out to deliberately upset others. x

alycat · 26/06/2007 21:05

Hi Starry,

Are you a complete newbie or from 'the other side'??? I'm from 'the other side'and have been coming on here around a month.

I have seen a few flamings and (imho) unfounded troll accusations, so have found things a little uncomfortable on here on occasions and have had posts ignored on threads too.

It has it's upside though - I'm spending much less time on the pc as I won't visit the 'other side' and I don't feel a particularly warm welcome on here. So my house is much tidier, my freezer is full of scrumptious homemade things and I'm all ready for my holiday in 10 days.

Chin up hun.

suncream · 26/06/2007 21:10

ooh, I'm so intrigued. Where is the Other Side? Please tell.

alycat · 26/06/2007 21:13

I'm not sure I'm allowed to say, not allowed to mention this place on 'the other side'

missyhols · 26/06/2007 21:14

Glad i saw this i feel same and was starting to think it was me. Don't get me wrong I've got chatting with some really great mn ers. But sometimes it gets bit too uncomfy for me. I'm getting used to it now but its big change from other side! Lol. Keep smiling starry!

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