AIBU to think it's not appropriate to take a toddler to a graveyard?

[MotherChristmas1973]

That's it really.

OP. You're very odd and YABVVU. Of course there is nothing wrong with taking a toddler to a graveyard. Stop being so silly and worry about more important things.

Yes,very odd. And precious

It can depend on people's culture - I know people who picnic on relatives' graves at particular celebrations. E.g.,:

www.vice.com/en_uk/article/3b4bm3/greek-party-at-the-cemetery-876

@GlitterStick I've always wondered what that meant and said to myself the next person I see put one of those I'll just ask...

Jam biscuit?! Asshole?

It’s the virtual equivalent of shoving a biscuit in someone’s mouth to shut them up.

Death is part of life. The more you remove children from it the more it makes it something to fear. Taking children to remember a relative is normal. If a mother has a baby/toddler and no to mind does that mean she should not visit the grave? For the record my toddler son has been to my baby’s grave.

YABU. Death is part of life, sharing memories of the people that loved us is a healthy part of life.

Eh? Why on earth would it be inappropriate? What do you think is going to happen to said toddler?

Oh I just thought it could be someone telling another person that they look like a bum hole. Whoops! 😂

My DS has been coming to the crematorium to visit my mum since he was a baby. I don't see why it's inappropriate

Presumably you thought that was funny when you typed it? Jeez

I feel burned .

DC are taken to visit dead relatives on special occasions including weddings, birthdays and Christmas. My aunt married a few weeks after she had my cousin and she visited her MIL's grave in her wedding dress with her new baby along with the wedding reception guests. The cars did a detour for this purpose.

It's a sign of respect and shows we do not forget, even when the new generations come along.

We’ve regularly gone to my granny’s grave for as long as I can remember. She died before I was born, and mum always liked to take flowers, and keep it nicely tended. Now that a lot of my family are sadly in the same graveyard, I too do this. It was entirely normal that we’d go to granny’s grave, and hear stories about this woman I’d never met, but wish I’d known. It wasn’t a weeping and wailing, but a way to ensure her memory was kept alive.

We’ve continued this with my two nephews. I don’t think it’s weird at all. It’s all about attitudes to death, I think. It’s sad, of course, but we try to keep their memories alive.

Dd2 visits the cemetery with me regularly. We first took her on our way home from hospital when she was 7hrs old.
She is 3yrs old now. I go to the cemetery to dd1 grave at least twice a week.

I take dc 5, 2.5 and 16 months to visit their great grandmas grave regularly. They tell her things, they've also been to funerals. They have a healthy attitude to death.

By the way OP, Christmas is NOT just for kids.

It is my Dad's birthday on Christmas day but he died 22 years ago. I always took my children when they were little to put flowers on his grave on his birthday. My daughter still comes with me now. It's not sad, just an act of love and remembrance.

Ds has come with us to visit his brothers grave since he was a baby. He has learning difficulties so still doesn't understand what it is about. A baby won't understand either so I don't see what possible issue there can be with them being there.

My three year old Granddaughter used to love me to read out the names and then say "and she died", really dramatically.

When it was whole families or children, she used to like to say "that's really sad isn't it", then move onto the next.

It gives toddlers a sense of death. It should always be done in the right way, of course. My Granddaughter also liked to walk past the old bit of the town and talk about the people who lived there, but are now all dead.

It used to be the norm to lay out people at home and neighbours, including children came to see them and visit graves.

YABVU OP, I loved going to the cemetery when I was little. Still do.

Dd2 visits the cemetery with me regularly. We first took her on our way home from hospital when she was 7hrs old.
She is 3yrs old now. I go to the cemetery to dd1 grave at least twice a week

to you Parkhead. What a lovely thing to do.

@TheRhythmessCarolMan lol, not a bumhole!
Means no comment - as in "your Op isn't worthy of a reply and I can't be arsed to comment, feck off, no comment

We go every year with our two children now tween and teen to visit DH's dad, their grandad, that they never got to meet and neither did I.
It's tradition, they've grown up knowing it as normal and like going to "see" him and placing flowers/a Christmas wreath.

Plus I like the comment upthread with the poster saying what a vicar said - that the sound of laughter or talking can be "heard".
Nice, that's a nice way of looking at it and how I like to think of it too.
Circle of life and generations coming together and all that

My friend had a stillbirth and used to take her older child then a toddler to the graveyard, some might find that morbid, but she had a useless DP, no childcare that day and wanted to remember her other child

I don't think she was being unreasonable and nor would I think others in similar situations would be YABU

@Charmatt exactly the same situation here, but FIL.
Love and remembrance