To consider kicking my MIL out for this 'joke'

[radioactiveimagination]

MIL arrived to spend Xmas with me, DH and DCs. DS 6 months has recently started babbling, 'dada' being a regular noise he makes (much to my chagrin ). Five minutes into stay, DH is saying to DS, 'who's your dada?' as DS has also started pointing/reaching for people he likes the look of. MIL looks on fondly. So far so cute. DH asks DS again, 'who's your dada?' To which MIL pipes up, 'we may never know.' WTAF? DH assures me this was meant as a joke, but I find it coarse and off-colour. We don't make jokes like that in my family and I don't understand the humour - 'haha, DIL, your child is probably illegitimate as you are clearly shagging around'. I feel like it was just an excuse to be bitchy (me and MIL don't get exactly see eye to eye). AIBU to be fuming?

Was she previously made aware that your family’s comedic standard is the benchmarch for all acceptable humour henceforth ? Seems harsh. cheers.

Blimey you must be very posh to be so insulted.

Not something I personally would rage about, but different humours and that.

I will say though, when Ive heard that joke it's more at the expense of the dad after many "where's dada" "who's dada" then a quick "God only knows"

I'd have pmsl if my MIL had said that. It would have made me like her a lot more

You should have said “Many a true word MIL, many a true word”.
And winked at her.

I'd be insulted, but on the plus side apparently I'm posh, woohoo!

Given that you and your MIL don't get on then I can understand why you took that comment as a slur instead of a joke. I do think it's relevant that you don't have a good relationship.

Actually I'd be insluted

Insluted

Anyone else find that funny, or just me?

It was a joke, funny to some, not funny to others.

Reminds me of, many years ago, when my sister was pregnant and we were sat in her best friends house chatting. Something was said about the father of unborn baby, who she was with, and she retorted with "Nah, it's the milkman's!"

Said milkman was sitting in the room, being sister's best friends long term partner. Oooops. Thankfully it was laughed off.

I hope your DH told her to get out and never return.

A tad of an overreaction for a joke!

This is the kind of joke said with our family.......but it's funny as my boys are spitting image of their dad

I think its quite funny, I would have laughed and said are you trying to call me a slag MIL? or you cant judge me by your standards etc.

My ex mil used to joke that her son, my ex, was the milkman's because he looked a completely different race to anyone else in the family. (He was extremely dark skinned whereas everyone else were white). It was laughed off time and time again. Please don't take it offensively even if you didn't like it. I doubt she meant harm.

If you get on famously and really get each other's humour then yes it is funny and crappy humour. But if you don't see eye to eye then it's not nice. sneeze in her prosecco See MIL that's funny - bants innit?

Actually I'd be insluted

Insluted

Anyone else find that funny, or just me?

'Kicking her out' was a bit OTT and was meant to be tongue in cheek.

Sureky this proves that anyone can get a joke wrong and your reaction is a bit OTT?

I think that was just a joke, she misjudved your humour and probably thought yoy were comfortable enough around her to make it. It doesn't sound malicious unless there is history.

My motger in law greeted me this mornong with " i love how your hair is just so different from normal hair... your hair has nothing whatsoever to do with modern styles or fashion, so it is perfect for you"... i was thinking "can i sit down before we start with the insults?" Lol. My husband spent 5 minutes trying to explain that she was just trying to compliment ke but my hair is such a disaster she couldn't think what to say...

Honestly if I or someone near me made that joke and you reacted so negatively I’d assume the paternity genuinely is in question and it would be very very awkward

It does sound like it was meant as a joke, though I personally wouldn't find it funny. (Certainly not if it was said every time I saw the person making the joke.)

I wouldn't take it to heart. It doesn't sound as if it's meant maliciously in any way.

What a pile of bollocks: get over the joke!

@DeathyMcDeathStarFace

My dads a dairy farmer so I’ve literally never been able to use that joke

Just say 'well this is your dada but we've got no idea if that's actually your grandpa'

Depends on your relationship overall .. do you get on well ? Or is this part of a pattern of behaviour . I got to admit I would be pretty annoyed if that had happened to me so can see your view

I would be offended. Even if it's meant as a joke - It's not a polite or even funny joke to make at all.
My dh wouldn't stand for that kind of joke from his parents and I wouldn't from mine.

I’d have found it quite funny but then I know not everyone has the same sense of humour as myself.

Although I suppose it depends on the context of your relationship.
TBH I would just let it go.