To consider kicking my MIL out for this 'joke'

[radioactiveimagination]

MIL arrived to spend Xmas with me, DH and DCs. DS 6 months has recently started babbling, 'dada' being a regular noise he makes (much to my chagrin ). Five minutes into stay, DH is saying to DS, 'who's your dada?' as DS has also started pointing/reaching for people he likes the look of. MIL looks on fondly. So far so cute. DH asks DS again, 'who's your dada?' To which MIL pipes up, 'we may never know.' WTAF? DH assures me this was meant as a joke, but I find it coarse and off-colour. We don't make jokes like that in my family and I don't understand the humour - 'haha, DIL, your child is probably illegitimate as you are clearly shagging around'. I feel like it was just an excuse to be bitchy (me and MIL don't get exactly see eye to eye). AIBU to be fuming?

Surely the response is then ha ha ha what a shame you wouldn’t be my MIL then with a big 😃

The joke is about you though...it’s because your child isn’t saying your dh. Thats what I would have thought?

I think you need tk get over yourself.

I didn't read it as bitchy or a joke at anyone's expense. I read it as a somewhat ill-judged joke of "DS is taking a long time to answer the question, perhaps we'll never find out the response", but then you were there and know your MiL whereas I wasn't and don't.

I'd file this one under 'Slightly random things people in the family have said' and think no more about it!

Rodenhide - this thread clearly demonstrates that not everyone would find it funny (or even vaguely appropriate). Either MiL didn't 'know her audience' or worse, did...

Just a sense of humour failure on your part OP? Chill out ffs!

Not funny but that's what xmas often is, both good and stupid jokes from family. at least for me. Don't let it bother you.

You are over reacting massively imo. It was a lighthearted joke.

If that is s joke .... it's certainly one with the funny bits taken out. Horrid thing to think, never mind say.

My DH's family would (and have) made such jokes and they considered it hilarious. My family would NOT. In fact, a similar joke was made at a family dinner by a cousin's newish BF and the silence was deafening!

Horses for courses. But not worth tossing the old biddy unto the outer darkness. Just do give her the smallest slice of cake and a 'short pour' of wine as punishment!

Bit of a sense of humour failure I think. It’s a fairly standard joke in our family. My dad has (for as long as I can remember anyway) always added “whoever he is” to anything where he’s said “dad is very proud” etc etc. “Who’s your daddy?” Would absolutely not be left unanswered with “the postman/milkman” in this house! You might not like it, that’s kind of the thing with jokes- not everyone finds all of them funny. But I don’t think it was any sort of slur and certainly a bit of an overreaction to even give it so much headspace never mind suggest you kick her out!

She’s hilarious! You need to lighten up.

If you are offended you need to check MIL. I would check the hell out of that we never know comment.

I would find it disrespectful. I'm sure if you said just like DH May never now, it wouldn't be funny or a joke.

This reminds me of the time that DS1 (now 16) pointed to a man in a shop and said 'Daddy'. The man looked TERRIFIED and made a point of saying he'd never seen me before in his life, hahaha. Seriously OP, I'd say something like 'don't judge others by your standards ;-)'

It’s a joke ffs. Surely everyone has said something similar. Guilty conscience op😂???

Probably an off the cuff remark not really intended to cause harm, but thoughtless all the same.

Maybe quip back "yes following in the footsteps of the other male in this household who's parentage would make Jeremy Kyle blush"
What is good for the goose an all that.

If she is staying for a few days mull over some one liners just for her that you can roast her with.

If MIL/DH get arsed about just pass it off as a joke same way she did.

Well she made me laugh 😂 lighten up

Definitely don't do something you'll regret!

Many of her 'jokes' seem to bypass my sense of humour.

That's definitely her fault. You seem so lighthearted and jovial. Plus there is only one sort of humour and everyone agrees what is funny and what isn't.

I think since Christmas is famously a time for holding grudges you should definitely assume the worst and hold it against her. No good ever came of giving close family members the benefit of the doubt.

Also the whole 'it's just a joke' , 'it's just banter' nonsense needs to fuck off. It's only people who are too cowardly to say what they really mean or think say. Can't stand it.

Yes those of us who don't immediately scream at anyone who offends us constantly feel sad that we are 'too cowardly' and envy the superb life choices of those with hair-trigger tempers and no impulse control.

Make a joke about MIL's inability to make a funny joke for the next 10 years

Surely everyone has said something similar.

Only once...and I wasn't joking!

We, me and my Adult DDs, all decided to get our Ancestry DNA done. My eldest said to me "is this were we find out (my youngest) isn't my Dad's?"

I replied, "no, you"

Which we all found funny.

It's the same thing.

Not funny but I wouldn’t be pissed off, I’d just think she had shite banter.

I think you'll find it's your DHs home too so kicking his mother out may not be so straightforward.

It wasn't very funny or original but then neither are the jokes in crackers. There's no need to lose ones temper over either. Relax or Christmas Day is going to be a long one.