to wish my mother would talk normally?

[IAmAlwaysLikeThis]

Every sentence has some twee, often made-up word in it.

“Pass me the dooda” instead of “pass me that plate”.

“Would you like a sploosh of tea?” instead of “would you like a tea?”

“be careful in case the fridge makes an avalanche” instead of “the fridge is full so be careful”.

It just makes me cringe. It’s impossible to talk to her normally. I know we all have our own little mannerisms but it’s just constant and grating. The thing is that she’s so grumpy and angry most of the time that it just doesn’t go with her personality at all which makes it more annoying.

My I'm mid 50s and often forget words, I honestly think it's a post menopausal thing. My best on was forgetting what Wednesday was called when telling someone that it could be done by then. I ended up saying the day between Tuesday and Thursday, I felt a right idiot

Sounds very irritating! Poor you OP.

Ignore the sanctimonious ‘you’ll miss it when she’s dead’ lot. They have a serious lack of imagination not to be able to recognise that their own experience with their parent doesn’t map onto every other person. You know your own mind. My mum’s dead and I still found things irritating about her. How bizarre to think that the fact humans all eventually die means you can’t find anything about them annoying.

YANBU, it sounds extremely irritating, especially as it seems to be an active strategy to avoid meaningful communication.

Things like this can become almost impossible to ignore and they affect everyone’s communication. I can absolutely see why you find it so difficult.

Perhaps you could say to yourself each time ‘one day my mother will be DEAD and then I’ll never have to listen to this crap again’?

My mother used made up words too, talked quickly and did a 'hee hee hee' after a sentence. Drove me potty and it was excruciatingly embarrassing if anyone else was around. She also put on a fake 'posh' voice when talking to acquaintances, stringing her vowels out on a clothes line.

I tried to tell her but she'd get the huff which I understand in a way but when I was a kid, people took the mick out of her behind her back. She wouldn't have it though, would never admit she was wrong.

She had her good points of course.

(Oh and by the way you don't offer 'a tea', you offer a cup of tea ;). )

Don't be too cross - my mother used some unusual words and phrases but what would I give to be able to see her tomorrow and give her some special presents.

My mother's dead. I DO NOT miss any of the infuriating things she used to say.

Nor do I of mine!

This might be the first 'I'm home for Xmas and they're driving me insane! thread of the year.

Oh god I feel so sorry for her. She probably started this for your benefit, when you were a toddler. You probably thought she was the funniest mum in the whole world. And she's just kept doing it because you'll always be her baby. And you're complaining about how irritating she is on MN.

OP has it ever occurred to you that your mother may find some of the things YOU say irritating?

Something for you to ponder on.

Teenagers do go through a stage of getting very embarrassed about, well, anything, their parents do. ‘ Most people grow out of it.

Don't be too cross - my mother used some unusual words and phrases but what would I give to be able to see her tomorrow and give her some special presents

it's great that you had a good relationship with your mother, however some of us hate our mothers because they were abusive and we'll be glad when they're dead

Heard a woman offer her baby a 'snick snack' several times yesterday; made me cringe.

I understand the irritation OP, but I agree with others that it’s probably due to your dislike of your mother in general (which is also ok btw).

I have a very lovely friend who finishes my sentences all the time. If an annoying colleague or aunt or someone did it, I’m sure it would infuriate me, but because it’s her, and it just seems to come from a general enthusiasm for our conversation, it doesn’t bother me at all.

My Father used to call me baby girl all the time which was annoying and I'd love to hear it again but he died when I was 19 so no chance but I'd like to think he'll be with us tomorrow in some way as we eat our Christmas lunch

Oh god I feel so sorry for her. She probably started this for your benefit, when you were a toddler. You probably thought she was the funniest mum in the whole world. And she's just kept doing it because you'll always be her baby

Seriously? OP's mum talking to her like she's still a toddler shouldn't be cause of irritation? Fuck sake.

This would infuriate me too OP. I find my mum intensely irritating. One of her most annoying mannerisms is constantly saying the end of completely normal sentences in a kind of ironic, faux foreign accent. For example "Dinner's ready! Everyone come and serve themselves some food" (with the italicized words in dodgy French accent. It drives me crazy and then I notice all the other things which wind me up.

I totally get that I'm being an intolerant cow, but of course it's not really about how she says things, it's a reflection on the fact that she was a pretty awful mother when I was a teenager and that we are quite different people.

The only thing has helped was going to therapy and working through how her treatment of me as a child made me feel. Bizarrely, even though we didn't even touch on my dislike of her mannerisms I now find them much less annoying.

I'm on my way there now though so will be interesting to see whether it lasts throughout Christmas

Mum tells me all the world news usually gets it a bit wrong. Mothers are... well, some are lovely, mine is a great person who is in pain and unhappy, so I cut her some slack. Suggest you do the same.

Talking normally is boring... Yay for the mum and may her tea always splosh and her fridge never avalanche :-)

Ah op you're getting a hard time on here, as is the Mumsnet norm.
It sound deeply irritating if she does it all the time and I'm sure you won't miss it when she has gone

When you find someone frustrating and irritating it's quite normal for their little quirks to drive you crazy. I'm sure almost everyone on here knows what that feels like, it just may not be their mother that bugs them.

And yes, it's not very tolerant or patient and we would probably benefit from chilling out and not letting it bother us... but we're all human and it's not always easy (do try though).

Letting off stream here is far better than being short and snappy with her about it.

Is she related to Bing?!

Some frankly bizarre answers on here (yes I should enjoy being spoken to like a three year old?!) and more than a few that haven’t rtft but thanks for the support from those who get it and don’t think she’s just a sweet harmless old lady and that when she’s gone I’ll be popping her into her wee coffiny woffiny and mourning the beautiful inane shite she comes out with.

Miranda made her sitcom about this very thing. Best to laugh about it i think.

This would drive me round the bend, especially the constant nature of it.

Most families have odd words they use, a kind of 'family code' - but this is way, way beyond that.

OP - maybe next year, have Christmas just you. I've done it a few times and thoroughly enjoyed it.

Your Mum is probably fed up with you rolling your eyes every time she opens her mouth

And probably make her try even harder to be acceptable. I can almost feel her discomfort.

Sensible words SleepWarrior. I talked about my mum above but it doesn't mean I didn't love her or that she wasn't good to me in lots of ways but her irritating speech and manner grated on me from when I was tiny almost up until she died, plus the fact she was always right.
Of course I rubbed her up the wrong way at times too, none of us is perfect.

My mum and I were like chalk and cheese. I was adopted, people have said that is why but I know other people who were adopted and they didn't have the problems we had.

I was always far more loyal to my mother - my parents actually - than they were to me.

Yet I loved them and they loved me in their way, they were out of their depth really. My dad died when I was 23 but mum lived on until I was 45, nearly forty six, she was 86 (both died unexpectedly & suddenly), I was devastated when she died. She had been such a support to me and mine and she could be extremely funny - humourous. She was an adored grandmother.

As you said, letting off steam here is better than thingy :-).

Toodle oo.