DH is abusive

[brusselsproutfan]

Last night me DH and 2 DC went to see the Panto. It's expensive so a nice night out.
Had small dinner before we went and picked up some chips to eat on way back to eat at home.
Had a brilliant time up until that point.
I drove with oldest DD in front of car and DH and youngest DD sat in the back. Youngest DD fell asleep and normally I pull up on the drive, unlock front door, go in and say hello to the dog as he goes crazy then come back out and get DD out of car.
My DH started beeping the car horn as I didn't come out quick enough as the car has child locks on the doors so he needed to be let out. I was coming out anyway to lift youngest DD out of car as she was asleep. He was so angry and came in and started shouting at my oldest DD saying she was selfish for not letting him out the car and was really shouting at her. DD started crying so I gave her a hug and DH got even angrier.
He went into kitchen and went to fill up the kettle and banged the lid down on the kettle several times so it's now buckled and doesn't fit on the kettle properly.
He got the chips that were still wrapped in the paper and thrust them really hard into DDs hands and said "go on eat them" he did it with force so he hurt her.
I was very upset by this and told him he's abusive and he went into the garden and started shouting at the top of his voice and we could hear loads of noises where he was throwing stuff about out there.
We were scared and contemplated calling the police as I don't think it's right to be scared in your own home. AIBU to do this?
All over not letting him out the car quick enough.

*lock

Mumofaprinny what a fucking horrible answer. Calling the op stupid when she’s going through hell.

Op - please speak to women’s aid who are fantastic and will support you through all of this. No, you shouldn’t have to leave your home, yes you can get orders to keep him away. However I understand you are also trying to get through Christmas when services are running on minimum and keeping things going for your kids.

If you can, it would really help if you could ring women’s aid and the housing association tomorrow. Please try and find the strength to report him to the police. Police now have to notify children’s services of any domestic abuse incidents however they will also support you.

Women’s Aid will help you to come up with a safety plan and help you to take the steps you need.

As for the posters calling you names or victim blaming they should be ashamed.

Fair enough, it was harsh, but come on, who here would let their other half back in after they done that? And then let him back in again after he’s been home and still blamed the OP’s daughter?! I’ve been in that position I choose to protect my kids, not just to leave the door open so he could waltz back in!🙄

Don't make yourself homeless. Tell him the children are too scared to be in their own home and he has to leave.

Maybe contact police before you tell him and they will probably give you a direct line or something where you don't need to speak and police will be sent straight out?

I'd do it whilst eldest DD isn't there

Op I was brought up on a household like this where my sup father was angry and abusive. I was often frightened. I don’t know how scared my mother was, but she didn’t have what it takes to move away and protect us.
My sister Is no longer in co tact with my mum as a consequence, my step father directed a lot of his anger at her( she’s the eldest).
It’s a very damaging thing to live through. Nobody should be frightened on their own home, nobody should be walking on eggshells.
Get your girls out (lock him out, don’t lose your home)now before too much damage is done.

you do that, you'll never see me again
That would be a result then wouldn't it!

Seriously he just sounds like really hard work and stress and possibly much worse I think I would be looking to remove myself from this entanglement were I in your shoes