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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Absolutely Raging at DSis

619 replies

DroningOn · 23/12/2018 10:45

DSis and her DH were at a wedding yesterday, we had their DD1 and DS3 overnight. We've got a panto today at 1:30 for me, DH and our 2 kids.

DSis knows of our plans and has just text to say that both her and DH had too much to drink last night and can't drive until at least mid afternoon. They're 90 mins away so that's today's plans fucked up. Obvs not an AIBU but I am incandescent with rage at the moment.

AAAARGH! Angry

OP posts:
Nativityriot · 23/12/2018 16:20

Also chiming in rage on your behalf! I LOVED our panto trip this year!

SleepingStandingUp · 23/12/2018 16:21

It would always be a tough call to be sober by morning
Only if you have no self control, alcohol abuse issues or are utterly thoughtless / selfish. One of you drinks til mignoght, one drinks what's thry want. It's a wedding not a night out clubbing so not exking back shots etc is hardly a problem.

Tartyflette · 23/12/2018 16:22

Please don't let them get away with it think it's easier to ask for forgiveness rather than for permission - give them both barrels.
And it seems they thought they were going to be late anyway so decided to make the most of it. That's really rubbing your nose in it.

Original poster
DroningOn · 23/12/2018 16:23

She's not coming to pick them up, sending her DH alone. Their house is a 5min detour off the motorway on their way to ours and apparently she's tired and just wants to get home.

Spoke to my brother who wasn't at all surprised by this and said she's got form for being thoughtless, seems I've been unaware of a lot of CFuckerry on her part.

Sent her a reply saying that it's not on and that it's ruined my plans for Christmas fun with my kids and that in hindsight I believe this was something they planned to possibly do if the opportunity arose.

Told her I'm really angry at her taking the piss like this and that in future she can find some other mug to sort out childcare when she fancies a night out.

DBro mentioned they've got another wedding in June in Ireland and she was hoping I'd take the kids. Well she can fuck right off and good luck finding someone else to take a baby and toddler for a run of nights while she enjoys herself, took a bit of pleasure in telling her that.

OP posts:
Violetroselily · 23/12/2018 16:25

Well done OP

she's CF of the year

itswinetime · 23/12/2018 16:26

Even if they didn't pre book it there were lots of ways the could have sorted out a genuine mistake without the op missing out. They didn't they went to the spa! It's rude and it's selfish and to those saying how hard it is with young children that isn't really the ops problem is it! She's done her stint with little ones! And op you may have complete angles but older kids aren't always easy especially at this time of year! So why should sisters need for a break trump the ops need for a nice family day out?

SleepingStandingUp · 23/12/2018 16:27

and your kids haven't missed out
Of course thry have, They've missed out on what might be the only trip out as a family they get all year. They've kissed out on having their Mum there to share the experience with. And OP had missed out too. Why are her plans less important that her sisters, just because hers aren't babies any more?

Letshopeitsallok · 23/12/2018 16:28

So not only is she selfish, she’s a coward as well.

She’s too tired to apologise (and is hoping OP gets over it before she next sees her).

Tisahardlife · 23/12/2018 16:28

True cheeky fuckery. I'm sorry you had your Christmas treat ruined by your sister and BIL, sounds like their selfishness has made sure they have no childcare to enable them to go to the next wedding. You reap what you sew...

SheWoreBlueVelvet · 23/12/2018 16:29

aaaaa but the Op's kids are having a great time. She just told us that.

It's very annoying but it doesn't sound like they have a form for this. It's just shit timing. Most people have a drink at a wedding and most drink at Christmas so it's an unfortunate combo. Not as if they have had a romantic night away on their own and took the mickey.

Think it says a lot about the posters here that everyone assumes they have done that deliberately. I know my friends and family wouldn't.

BottleOfJameson · 23/12/2018 16:29

Well that settles it you're never babysitting for her again and you can tell everyone in the family why. The apologies were obviously completely hollow.

Bluearsedfly36 · 23/12/2018 16:29

Well done OP xx

Handprints2018 · 23/12/2018 16:30

A cheeky fucker and a coward too to not face you together. When you seen your bil i would repeat all this and let him know its not on at all.

WilburforceRaven · 23/12/2018 16:31

What a coward she is! They planned this. Now she's leaving him to deal with it. It's bloody 4.30 and they're just now coming? I'd hand them over to your BIL. 'Thanks a load for completely ruining a special outing we'd planned for our family with no thought at all for us. You're both a pair of selfish, thoughtless twats and I will NEVER sit for you again. EVER. My kid were very upset and disappointed, but hey, you got your nice lie in and sexy time and spa day so that's you smug as all fuck. Now get out of my house.'

My kids would have been so upset!

HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone · 23/12/2018 16:33

Whilst its great that you've told her this she wont give a shit. She still got to enjoy her night out and a lovely relaxing spa day without the children. She doesn't care about the fact you missed out on spending the day with your 2.

I feel in this situation she will find someone else for the next wedding and in a few months time you will have forgotten and it will all be water under the bridge. Please don't be that person OP, if you say your going to stop doing favours and allowing her to be a CF, please don't regress in 6 months time to a point where she can do this all over again. Trust me i've seen it happen time and time again.

WilburforceRaven · 23/12/2018 16:33

It's very annoying but it doesn't sound like they have a form for this.

But they do. And no one has to drink at a wedding if they know they have no self control.

It really doesn't matter that the OP's kids are having a good time, the OP wanted to go, too, it was a family outing, they paid £30/each for the tickets and now she hasn't been able to go because of her pisstaking sister.

diddl · 23/12/2018 16:34

"Think it says a lot about the posters here that everyone assumes they have done that deliberately. "

But it can't really happen "undeliberately" can it?

You know you have to collect your kids by a certain time, so can't drink ot maybe just a couple.

You decide to exceed that-it's deliberate.

SleepingStandingUp · 23/12/2018 16:35

but the Op's kids are having a great time. but they might have had a better time WITH her and OP isn't unimportant just because she's what? Not got babies?? The older sibling?

Not as if they have had a romantic night away on their own and took the mickey well they got adult time, a hotel, a lie in, a spa. Nthey might night have been alone all evening but they've hardly been out at work or suffering a miserable time have thry? They've DEFINATELY taken the mickey

ChristmasFlary · 23/12/2018 16:36

Am so sorry OP. Please don't ever forget this and never babysit again no matter what excuses she makes.

BottleOfJameson · 23/12/2018 16:36

Exactly diddl if you're grown up enough to be drinking you're grown up enough to work out how much you can drink when you have to drive the next day.

ChristmasFlary · 23/12/2018 16:37

@HippoLatte - please say you have never babysat again...

QuackPorridgeBacon · 23/12/2018 16:37

I have never understood why people think journeys in a taxi are magically safer than a private car.

I don’t think that but I also don’t drive, so sometimes taxis are a must. In fact, when we travel for hospital appointments we have to use a taxi. I don’t think I would do more than a 40 minute journey though.

Kikipost · 23/12/2018 16:37

"Think it says a lot about the posters here that everyone assumes they have done that deliberately

Because it genuinely is alien to so many of us to be so utterly inconsiderate to someone who is doing you a favour AND also unfair on your own very young children.

WilburforceRaven · 23/12/2018 16:37

DBro mentioned they've got another wedding in June in Ireland and she was hoping I'd take the kids. Well she can fuck right off and good luck finding someone else to take a baby and toddler for a run of nights while she enjoys herself, took a bit of pleasure in telling her that

You do that, give into the begging and performance she's sure to put on, and I can guarantee they'll get delayed or their flight cancelled or some other bollocks so you wind up keeping her kids for more time.

She doesn't give a shit about your time. Bet they don't even offer to pay for the ticket you didn't get to use.

itswinetime · 23/12/2018 16:38

Think it says a lot about the posters here that everyone assumes they have done that deliberately. I know my friends and family wouldn't.

The difference is my friends and family would do everything in their power to sort out the problem. Ok they overindulged and if the op had said they were looking in to ways to get back asked if anyone could pick one of them up any of the reasonable things to do I would have said that it was a mistake, annoying but these things happen. They didn't they text sorry booked into the spa and left the op to deal with the consequences! And now instead of taking her sister wine and flowers to apologise say thank you DSIS is off to bed (making them even later to pick up dc) again not what my friends or family would do.