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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be worried about DP

117 replies

Thesepreciousthings · 23/12/2018 04:09

My DP went out with the boys for Christmas drinks last night. No problem whatsoever with that obviously. He doesn’t go out all that often but does enjoy a drink.

Over recent years he has calmed down a lot, doesn’t enjoy drinking until the early hours and is quite sensible. I text him at 11:30pm to say goodnight, he text me straight back saying he’d be home within the hour.

Just woke up needing the loo (joys of pregnancy!) and he’s not back yet. Tried calling him, went straight to voicemail. Tried again 5 mins later and it rang but no answer. Panicking I call a few more times and it goes straight to voicemail each time but rings on one occasion with no answer. He doesn’t use Facebook but his best friend updated his story 5 hours ago with a picture of the gang. DP never, ever turns his phone off and he charged it before he left. He hates nightclubs but I get that a pub or bar could also be noisy.

I don’t begrudge him a night out ever. I am worried though, his text at 11:30 was clear and concise so he didn’t come across as if he was hammered and I am am fairly confident that he wouldn’t have got carried away.

I am worst case scenario. (I have severe MH problems with anxiety). It’s juat so out of character and I can’t get back to sleep I’m so worried.

OP posts:
heiheithechicken · 23/12/2018 04:13

Sounds like he's somewhere with bad signal, like a bar or club maybe? By the sounds of it he's probably got carried away on his night out.

fatpord · 23/12/2018 04:14

He's still not home at 4 am?

Igmum · 23/12/2018 04:15

💐💐 understand your worry OP. I’m sure it’s just a noisy environment plus a few drinks so he can’t hear the phone. Try to relax if you can. Here’s hoping he’s back soon 💐💐

curiousierandcouriser · 23/12/2018 04:16

I wouldn't panic until morning really - there are a lot of reasonable explanations as to why he's not picking up his phone on a night out.

If you are really worried, do you have any of his friends' phone numbers you could message?

Sexnotgender · 23/12/2018 04:17

I’d be worried too.

Also very pregnant and awake Blush

Original poster
Thesepreciousthings · 23/12/2018 04:17

Update:

He just cancelled a call and text saying ‘I can’t talk right now’. This is so out of character. I don’t expect a running update as to where he his but I cannot work out why he wouldn’t say why he couldn’t talk or answer my call, he knows I’m concerned and even if he were absolutely hammered he’d usually still at least say ‘home soon’ or ‘don’t worry, all ok’

OP posts:
MyOtherProfile · 23/12/2018 04:18

Contaxt the mate?

fatpord · 23/12/2018 04:19

Sorry but I'd be worried too.

Original poster
Thesepreciousthings · 23/12/2018 04:19

Thanks for your replies. I’m really hoping I’m just anxious and hormonal but this is so unusual for him.

Got his best friend’s number but don’t want to call at this time of night in case he’s passed out at home already.

OP posts:
fatpord · 23/12/2018 04:23

I'd call his friend without hesitation. His phone may have been lost/stolen?

vodkaredbullgirl · 23/12/2018 04:27

When i was pregnant with my 1st, my ex went out on an xmas do and came back pie eyed, collapse out the back with head in drain. I left him there for an hour. mind you i did keep checking on him and gave him a blanket so he wasnt cold lol

Original poster
Thesepreciousthings · 23/12/2018 04:28

Just tried his friend, no answer Confused

OP posts:
Monty27 · 23/12/2018 04:30

He probably is banjacksed and will be home when he wakes up, finds his coat and gets a cab
I wouldn't like to be in his shoes when he gets home.

I hope he's suitability reprimanded for doing it though.
Try and sleep. He's probably doing just that Flowers

fatpord · 23/12/2018 04:33

It's the can't talk right now text that would bother me the most - if it's out of character. I don't suppose there's anyone else you could call?

Original poster
Thesepreciousthings · 23/12/2018 04:35

He just called me, sounds very drunk. Said he’s in a nightclub but there was no music/voices. Had a go at me and hung up. So out of character.

OP posts:
MrsStrowman · 23/12/2018 04:36

Maybe the friend is being sick/thrown out of club/arrested and DP is trying to sort it out. Hope he's home soon Op

MrsStrowman · 23/12/2018 04:37

Ooh cross post sorry. Make sure you wake him up nice and early in the morning, in the noisiest way you can!

Orchardgreen · 23/12/2018 04:38

My mother’s phone cancels my calls sometimes then gets the can’t speak now text. Usually when she’s fumbling to answer it.

Rachelle3211 · 23/12/2018 04:38

I would be very unhappy if I were you. Did he give any explanation for not coming home?

Monty27 · 23/12/2018 04:38

He probably went outside to call you. Don't overthink it. Enjoy his hangover.
Angry

MarcieBluebell · 23/12/2018 04:43

Glad he's rang you. Hope you sleep now.

AuntMarch · 23/12/2018 04:43

He's just pissed!

fatpord · 23/12/2018 04:43

He's obviously still got signal. FWIW this doesn't feel right at all. Sorry!

Original poster
Thesepreciousthings · 23/12/2018 04:46

No explanation for not coming home. I’m not happy with him at all. He’ll be totally useless tomorrow. He did something similar 4 years ago (he’s calmed down now) and threw up all over the floor and said he was too ill to clean it up. I understand that he got carried away but I don’t appreciate attitude from him when I’m worried - he was fine and planning on coming home at 11:30. It’s not even as if he has the money for a huge blow out. He’s supposed to drive into work in the morning, guess that’s not happening now.

OP posts:
Dontstepinthecowpat · 23/12/2018 04:48

Sorry your up and worried I’d be the exact same. Maybe he’s drunk something that has an adverse effect? My DH is the most gentle kind man but give him a vodka and he’s an absolute idiot (even arrested when younger) so he doesn’t drink it anymore. If he did though this is the type of scenario that would unfold. I’m sure he will have a very sore head and be suitably embarrassed tomorrow