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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be worried about DP

117 replies

Thesepreciousthings · 23/12/2018 04:09

My DP went out with the boys for Christmas drinks last night. No problem whatsoever with that obviously. He doesn’t go out all that often but does enjoy a drink.

Over recent years he has calmed down a lot, doesn’t enjoy drinking until the early hours and is quite sensible. I text him at 11:30pm to say goodnight, he text me straight back saying he’d be home within the hour.

Just woke up needing the loo (joys of pregnancy!) and he’s not back yet. Tried calling him, went straight to voicemail. Tried again 5 mins later and it rang but no answer. Panicking I call a few more times and it goes straight to voicemail each time but rings on one occasion with no answer. He doesn’t use Facebook but his best friend updated his story 5 hours ago with a picture of the gang. DP never, ever turns his phone off and he charged it before he left. He hates nightclubs but I get that a pub or bar could also be noisy.

I don’t begrudge him a night out ever. I am worried though, his text at 11:30 was clear and concise so he didn’t come across as if he was hammered and I am am fairly confident that he wouldn’t have got carried away.

I am worst case scenario. (I have severe MH problems with anxiety). It’s juat so out of character and I can’t get back to sleep I’m so worried.

OP posts:
Frankenterfer · 23/12/2018 13:39

Is he home?

PhaedrasChocolate · 23/12/2018 14:03

FissionChips Grin

FissionChips · 23/12/2018 14:37
Xmas Grin
FestiveNut · 23/12/2018 22:56

@Thesepreciousthings

Is everything OK?

Original poster
Thesepreciousthings · 24/12/2018 10:29

He staggered in at 7:30 in the morning! No shoes and soaking wet feet.

He doesn’t seem to remember anything from about 1am onwards. I went out and left him in bed until 2pm. He was very, very apologetic and felt terrible. Not for going out obviously but for getting carried away, ignoring me and being rude. I was a bit grumpy for a bit but he seems to be suitably guilty about what happened.

For the person who can’t work out why I was so worried - he stayed out for 7 hours longer than his text at 11:30 indicated, it was massively out of character and his behaviour was really off.

Strip club did cross my mind but he has always said he hates them. The state he was in, I highly doubt they’d have let him in!

He’s lost his favourite pair of boots and felt awful yesterday. Idiot!

OP posts:
Sexnotgender · 24/12/2018 10:36

How the hell did he lose his shoesConfused

WhenLifeGivesYouLemonsx · 24/12/2018 10:42

My husband does that when he goes out. He messages around 11pm then he doesn't get home until about 6 in the morning. I just take no notice of him! He gets offended when I say I don't care what he does lol.

Imalittleelf · 24/12/2018 10:44

Yeah..... I mean a woman in uncomfortable high heels would take them off.... but men don't seem to have that issue.. unless he was wearing his stilletoes?

I would be concerned that he can't remember his movements from 1am... any pictures/calls/texts that might help... or his friends?

Original poster
Thesepreciousthings · 24/12/2018 11:15

I have taken uncomfortable high heels off and walked home in my tights many a time, sober too! But comfy boots in the pouring rain Confused he wonders if he fell asleep/passed out somewhere and they were stolen. Who knows?!

He has a vague memory of giving the police his name at the end of our road and walking over a bridge (there are no bridges on the route home from town).

All pictures his mate took seem to stop at about 1am.

I’m glad it doesn’t happen often as I am a total worst case scenario kinda gal! I think he’s learned his lesson. To be honest, I wouldn’t have been worried if he turned up at 4am if he hadn’t said he’d be home in an hour at 11:30. 7:30 is a bit extreme though!

I know how unbelievably hopeless he is with women, drunk or sober so I don’t have any suspicions there.

I hope that losing his favourite pair of boots to foolish behaviour is suitable punishment and means he’ll think twice next time!

OP posts:
Santaclarita · 24/12/2018 11:34

Is there a bridge anywhere else he could have gone over? Seems odd. Sure he didn't leave his shoes at someone else's house?

53rdWay · 24/12/2018 11:44

A bloke I knew when I was a student came home without his shoes once, because he took a ‘short cut’ (it wasn’t) throught the woods and they kept coming off in the mud.

Glad he’s home and safe. Hope this puts him off doing something that stupid again.

Original poster
Thesepreciousthings · 24/12/2018 11:45

All his friends live in a completely different area on the other side of town. He seems to think he ended up in a residential area in the backstreets of our local area. Who knows?

OP posts:
AfterSchoolWorry · 24/12/2018 11:48

Probably throwing coke up his nose all night.

FestiveNut · 24/12/2018 13:08

Does he still have his wallet? Wondering if he was drugged. Spiked drink?

Jellylegss · 24/12/2018 13:31

If it’s completely out of character has he picked up someone else’s drink? Even from the actual bar. While out with my ex we had a round on the table (similar spirit n mixer drinks) and he took one from our side (me n female friends drinks).. a little while later we were literally having to carry him out in an awful state on his 3rd drink.

He’d been spiked but unintentionally, like it was meant for one of us, put in the drinks in front of us either between the bar or by someone coming to the table.
Was a scary night seeing how badly someone twice our size was affected.

Sandbox · 24/12/2018 13:35

nightclubs shut 4am at latest don’t they or has that changed?

Sandbox · 24/12/2018 13:40

No memory and friends leaving at 1am sounds like his drink was spiked, is that a possibility?

MinisterforCheekyFuckery · 24/12/2018 14:21

So where was he until 6am when he called you to say that he was making his way home? Clubs don't open until 6am, do they?
I find it odd that his friends photos all seem to stop at 1am but he didn't come home for another 6 hours after that.
Alsoo he said he was in a "residential area" and removed his shoes at some point Hmm which suggests he went back to someone's house.
I'm not a suspicious person usually but I would have a lot of questions for him.

Original poster
Thesepreciousthings · 24/12/2018 14:23

I went to a bar with a friend and her DP about 8 years ago - he bought the first and only round of drinks. He was carried out 40 minutes later. When the police stopped us and asked if we were ok they said it’s not uncommon for someone to spike all the drinks at the bar in the hope that it incapacitates a woman. Scary stuff.

I guess having his drink spiked is a possibility.

I’m pretty sure all the clubs shut at 4am round here as well. No explanation as to how it took him 3 and half hours to make a 45 minute journey home.

OP posts:
Original poster
Thesepreciousthings · 24/12/2018 14:26

Ministry - I totally agree. It doesn’t add up. I’m not sure he’d be stupid enough to call me at 6am if he’d been with someone else. I had a lot of questions for him and he’s tried to remember but can’t give me any answers. I trust him implicitly with regards to being with another woman and he was so unbelievably hammered I’d be very surprised if he’d managed to speak to another woman let alone go home with her.

OP posts:
Holidayshopping · 24/12/2018 14:33

Cancelling your call and a text saying he can’t talk now, plus taking his shoes off would make me think he was with someone else Confused.

Is he faking drunken amnesia?!

Ollivander84 · 24/12/2018 14:36

@Sandbox nope, the one in my town is open until 6am

Makatoned · 24/12/2018 14:41

AfterSchoolWorry has it spot on

Courts1988 · 24/12/2018 14:43

Sorry but he was definitely up to no good!

animallikeyou · 24/12/2018 14:46

It sounds like he was spiked to me.