To be worried about DP

[Thesepreciousthings]

My DP went out with the boys for Christmas drinks last night. No problem whatsoever with that obviously. He doesn’t go out all that often but does enjoy a drink.

Over recent years he has calmed down a lot, doesn’t enjoy drinking until the early hours and is quite sensible. I text him at 11:30pm to say goodnight, he text me straight back saying he’d be home within the hour.

Just woke up needing the loo (joys of pregnancy!) and he’s not back yet. Tried calling him, went straight to voicemail. Tried again 5 mins later and it rang but no answer. Panicking I call a few more times and it goes straight to voicemail each time but rings on one occasion with no answer. He doesn’t use Facebook but his best friend updated his story 5 hours ago with a picture of the gang. DP never, ever turns his phone off and he charged it before he left. He hates nightclubs but I get that a pub or bar could also be noisy.

I don’t begrudge him a night out ever. I am worried though, his text at 11:30 was clear and concise so he didn’t come across as if he was hammered and I am am fairly confident that he wouldn’t have got carried away.

I am worst case scenario. (I have severe MH problems with anxiety). It’s juat so out of character and I can’t get back to sleep I’m so worried.

I had my drink spiked once. I remember being sat in a bar at about 9pm with my friend. I distinctly remember agreeing with her we were bored and would just finish our drinks and go home. Then two blokes (we were sharing a room with them, youth hostel) came over. I remember nothing at all between then and about 4am when I was running round the streets looking for my friend.

He was taking drugs and lost the plot for a few hours. My money would be on coke or mdma.

Re the ‘I can’t talk right now’ message - isn’t that one of the templates responses that you can tell your phone to send when you don’t want to pick up? (Driving/in a meeting etc.)

I've took 3 hours once to walk the 20 minute walk it normally is, and managed to get lost on a straight road I've walked a thousand times. I've also lost one shoe before

I wouldn’t get too hung up on the “can’t talk now” text - it’s a prewritten message that you can send when declining a call on your iPhone. I’ve declined calls and sent one of the prewritten messages by accident before now.

OP - I’m glad he’s home safe. I remember when DH promised to call me when he got home (we didn’t live together at the time) and I didn’t hear from him until 7am. Turned out he’d gone to the Casino with some friends! Hopefully he’ll get some memories back, but if not then lesson learned!

He can remember stuff though. Didn't he say he remembered talking to the police and walking home or something? It's not like a complete black out like when you're spiked.

I dunno, it sounds dodgy to me, but you know him better so if it sounds fine to you, you're more likely to be right.

Oh my God the idiot Mumsnet responses!

"You're constantly texting him."

"YABU leave him alone"

"He's taking drugs."

"My money is him being high on coke."

Oh do fuck off. 😆😆😆😆

OP, it was out of order and he is suitably guilty and sorry, as you say. I'm glad it worked out in the end and he is safe and it dead in a ditch - which you were very understandably worried about, I would be as well!!
Have a lovely Christmas, hopefully DH will have recovered by then.

He’s really not the cheating type so I’d be very, very surprised. He’s also not the drug taking type and nor are his friends.

My best guess is that somehow he got lost/confused on the way home. Would love to know what happened to his boots though.

I think some women are used to lower standards of consideration and respect from their partners.

This. And also, I'm always surprised by what people get away with just by shrugging, "I was drunk." Going out for a drink is not a free pass for bad behaviour. If you get drunk enough to act like a twat, be unfaithful, forget large chunks of time, put yourself in danger, then I'm afraid you're not controlling your drinking well enough.

They don't really take your laces

Well they never have with me anyway

Check his timeline in Google maps, may give him an idea on where to look for the boots?

Did his boots have laces on?

Because he was using them as a tourniquet to do heroin? 😂

Spiked drink is possible. Can you ask him whether he thinks this could explain it? If so he could report it and get a urine and blood test done ASAP. If he says it isn't possible then it sounds like plain drunk or possibly drug-taking.

*TruckLoadOfSubtleGlitter

Did his boots have laces on?

Because he was using them as a tourniquet to do heroin? 😂*

Mine did this once, fell asleep on the train, woke up in a village stop. Miles from home, walked all the way home along the track, fell over, broke his glasses and wrecked his best shoes. He too rolled up at 7am !!

Another time, rolled home at 6am, had been put in the clink for being drunk & disorderly at Paddington station.

It happens to the fools sometimes!

Do you think he might have gone back to someone's house? A friends or other.
Seems the most likely thing to me.