Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want to take ds to be weighed?

39 replies

ratfly · 26/06/2007 14:28

Sorry, this is more of a rant really...

For the first few weeks I used to take ds weekly to be weighed, but I haven't taken him for about 6 weeks now. He is 5 months.

I am having trouble getting on with the health visitors. Last time I saw one (at an antenatal group) she said that ds waking for a feed at night when he had been only going through for a week was "like taking a step backwards".

When quizzed about my feeding schedule, I told them I feed him at 11pm whether he wakes or not - the dreamfeed so many people and books recommend - and she said "why would you do that?" like I was the most ignorant person on earth. I was too stunned to explain myself fully, and just ended up muttering about him waking earlier if we don't do it.

And the time before, when discussing sleep (he has had trouble since birth, with colic, reflux and now eczema) I was told (in a most disapproving way)to stop swaddling and using a dummy or he would never sleep. Funnily enough, he does sleep pretty well now, with a swaddle to stop him scratching, AND a dummy.

So, I don't want to get him weighed again as I know the HVs will wind me up. Or should I just grin and bear it? Or is there anywhere else I can get him weighed?

OP posts:
nickytwotimes · 26/06/2007 14:30

no wonder you don't want to go!
could you but suitable scales anywhere to use yourself? also, if he is well, maybe you needn't get him weighed? or go, and when they ask how things are, just say fine!

nickytwotimes · 26/06/2007 14:31

just re read op. my ds gets weighed every few months now, since about 4 mths.

themildmanneredjanitor · 26/06/2007 14:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Loopymumsy · 26/06/2007 14:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

canmummy · 26/06/2007 14:34

There is no need to get them weighed every week. I've got 3 and dd3 is also 5 months and I don't get her weighed regularly. IMO if she's feeding ok, has plenty of wet and dirty nappies, is alert and happy then I only go to baby clinic if there's something else I'm worried about and need to ask for advice. I'm sure he'll be fine

Original poster
ratfly · 26/06/2007 14:37

Thanks guys! He is feeding, sleeping, pooing, weeing and growing out of clothes so I guess everything is going ok. I thought I might start getting chased up or something!

I would quite like to know what he weighs, but without having to interact with the HVs at all. ..

OP posts:
Original poster
ratfly · 26/06/2007 14:40

It also gives me the perfect answer when people ask how much he weighs - I don't know!
Immediately gets me out of all competitive talk!

OP posts:
ChasingSquirrels · 26/06/2007 14:41

weigh yourself, then weigh yourself holding him if you want to know without seeing a HV.
ds2 has only been weighed (officially) once since his 6wk check, and that was at him 9mo check. I did him myself when I took him for his jabs as the scales are in the waiting room, but other than that I have no idea - as we don't have scales at home.

MaureenMLove · 26/06/2007 14:55

I only took my dd about 3 times! I know it was only that many times, because I went back to work when she was 3 months old. This was in the days, when SMP & maternity leave was pretty much nothing!
I remember the HV phoning me and saying 'Hello xxx and how's baby (rustle and turning of pages) xxx!' She didn't have a clue who I was! I told her I was going back to work, so I couldn't bring her to get weighed and she made me feel like a really bad mother, but like others have said, she was eating, drinking, pooing and she was perfectly pink and healthy! IF, I had any doubts about her, I would have taken her, but I really felt it wasn't necessary.

fennel · 26/06/2007 14:58

Mine only ever got weighed when we went for other things like injections. They were obviously big enough. I thought the baby weighing was just a chance to get out if you needed somewhere to go and couldn't think of anywhere else, rather than anything important in itself.

Twiglett · 26/06/2007 14:59

people on their 2nd don't tend to go at all IME

Gobbledigook · 26/06/2007 15:10

I took ds1 religiously because he was small and a crap 'eater'.

Ds2 - guzzled for England so hardly took him.

Ds3 - probably got weighed at birth and that was it

UCM · 26/06/2007 15:16

We weigh DD with fishing scales every 2 weeks, I bundle her up in one of my sarongs

diplodocus · 26/06/2007 15:17

I can't be bothered to sit for hours at the HV clinic, so occasionally take DD to Mothercare where they have scales for checking your child's in the right size car seat. I doubt they're any less accurate than the HVs, and once they're a few months old all all this stripping naked seems a bit unnecessary, particularly when DD appears to be able to crap her own body weight, which they don't appear to take into account.

2mum · 26/06/2007 15:21

Hi ratfly, onl;y after having kids myself i realise that you have to suit yourself. its your child if you want to go and weigh him then do so. If you dont want to get into a mad conversation about what your doing with these health visitors then dont. some health visitors can be very pushy and try and talk down to people who they think they know more than. but you know your own child more than anyone and as long as you are looking after your child its none of their business.

saffymum · 26/06/2007 15:38

You sound like you are doing very well all by yourself with your maternal instinct. who gives a toss about the weight anyway. I always think the HV make too much of a fuss about weight anyway, you could also just go to your GP once a month and have it done or find another local clinic. What about changing HV?

elesbelles · 26/06/2007 15:49

i think your doing ok ratfly...if hv does chase you up tell her the truth, that you feel she undermines your judgement as a mother. its easier to do it over the phone and it may well put her in her place enough not to do it to anyone else!

yomellamoHelly · 26/06/2007 16:02

Took ds1 once. Used to get lots of messages left on ansaphone and had several suprise drop-bys (refused enrty on a couple of occasions), but still didn't take him. Haven't taken ds2 at all. (6 months) No-one's hassled me at all.

With ds1 my instinct has always served me well when something's been up and imagine it will do for ds2 too.

Original poster
ratfly · 26/06/2007 16:14

diplododus - yes I always wondered about poo too. If they feed before a weigh, or poo before one, that is going to affect it isn't it!

Will check out Mothercare for scales...

OP posts:
Tortington · 26/06/2007 16:22

i have no idea what this nationwide predeliction to weekly weighing of children is.

if you had a concern? if there were complications.

but for fucks sake. - they get weighed at home ( or used to) health visitor with a sling thing - might be the midwife its all blurry.

but my point unles syouhave a fucking fat baby, or a skinny rat thing - then why do it?

i mean really why do it?

i didn't - i told midwife and healthvisitor that if they were that bothered they could come to me becuase there was no way was i walking up steep fecking hills with twins and a toddler.

i just dont think its important - in the least.

and relatives asking " how much do they weigh?" like who gives a fuck?

chopster · 26/06/2007 16:24

I never took mine after the first. I stuck them in bowls on the kitchen scales until they got too big, then didn't bother at all. I could see them growing, so I was perfectly happy. The only time when I ever needed to know their weight was upon an A&E trip - so it is worth having a rough idea.

OrmIrian · 26/06/2007 16:28

Don't go. My HV was wonderful (no really ) but even so I didn't bother much with second and not at all with third. No need unless there is something you are worried about.

PrettyCandles · 26/06/2007 16:33

If the HVs can't address the issues that you have, in a way that is helpful to you, but are stuck in a groove doing things their way, then it's obviously of no help to you to keep going to the baby clinic.

You are under no obligation to have him weighed, nor to follow HV's recommendations. You may well get better advice for his issues here on Mumsnet!

FWIW, I have taken 8m ds2 to the baby clinic 3 or 4 times since he was 3w and the HV stopped doing home visits, and one of those times was only so that I could meet a particular mum who I knew would be at t he clinic on that day!

Lucycat · 26/06/2007 16:36

I'd agree don't take him!

dd2 was weighed at birth, 6 months-ish then when she was about 1 - I think!

Unless you are concerned about his weight in any way then don't bother - I don't even know who our HV is!

kittylouise · 26/06/2007 16:39

I don't understand this obsession with baby weight either. And the religious filling-in of those centile charts. What's the point?

I hardly every went with dd - but the 2 HVs were loopy anyway. Plus, was a young mother so I think they had me in the useless and clueless category anyway. They do have an uncanny knack of making new mothers feel stupid.

Swipe left for the next trending thread