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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To have a word? (Parent and child parking).

325 replies

OptimisticIntrovert · 21/12/2018 13:15

I've just pulled into a parent and child space (with my baby who is sleeping so waiting for him to wake up before i go into the supermarket).

A woman pulled into the space next to me- no kids in the car- and went in to the shop. She's not back yet.

AIBU to accost her when she comes back and tell her that it's not fair?

Most answers wins!

OP posts:
hazeyjane · 21/12/2018 23:05

hazeyjane at no point am I rude or ill mannered, I simply point out that "I think it is a space for parent and children". So I still uphold my manners.

Ah ok, so just pointing stuff out, for the purposes of small talk I guess, like....'I think the lights have changed'.....'you are in a shop.....'that is a traffic bollard'....etc. Just being jolly polite and friendly. Sorry for getting the wrong end of the stick. I thought you were deciding whether those people met the criteria deemed acceptable to park in those spaces and making sure they knew you thought they were in the wrong.

Tigger001 · 21/12/2018 23:05

Didsomeonesaybunny I have to agree with you.

People on here can be so unashamedly vile, but as its online, they seem to think it's acceptable and just expected on here. They just give the site a bad name.

You only have to see the language used on here by some people who "don't think it's a problem" to see where their manners are, I wouldn't like to be under the same umbrella as them if this is how they conduct themselves and deem it acceptable.

OP you don't need stringing up for being parked in parent and baby space, when you have your baby with you, who has dozed off in the back .

And yes it does annoy me when you see people parking in such spaces who do not need them.

Just wondering if you did say anything.???
On skipping all the bile I may have missed you post if you mentioned it.

Schuyler · 21/12/2018 23:08

I am Hmm when I hear of parents who make excuses justifying their apparent need for a P&C space. I wonder how they cope when going to busy car parks which are full of parents with children in car sears; soft play, LEGOLAND and the zoo etc.

hazeyjane · 21/12/2018 23:09

It's ironic that the people going on about how narsty it is on here and how rude people are here, are the ones agreeing with going up to complete strangers to pull them up on where they are parking.

bourbonbiccy · 21/12/2018 23:10

hazeyjane yes as I say I wasn't rude. No, at no point was I assessing wether they met the criteria, I was pointing out what the space was to be used for, it was then for them to decide if they had acted correctly.
By them turning bright red and scurrying off... I think they had decided themselves that they did not meet the criteria.

Didsomeonesaybunny · 21/12/2018 23:14

@hazey telling someone that they parked in a P&C space is hardly nasty though is it? Personal attacks against the OP on the other hand are unnecessarily mean spirited and nasty. No irony just a fact

Sockwomble · 21/12/2018 23:17

When I'm managing my son in a car park I don't want strangers coming up to us because it causes him distress and makes our lives more difficult.

hazeyjane · 21/12/2018 23:17

I'm just surprised you don't see that as rude. When people have pointed out that we are parked in a disabled space, or are going into a disabled toilet (not often, but it has happened)....I just say 'I know' sometimes ï¹°I go red, look flustered and a bit taken aback - but this is because it feels like they are trying to point out that we are in the wrong to be there, and it feels like they are actually being quite rude.

bourbonbiccy · 21/12/2018 23:23

@hazeyjane But we are not talking about disabled toilets or disabled parking? And I never approached anyone, I said it as they walked past me getting my DS out at the gym.

Tigger001 · 21/12/2018 23:28

Schuyler I would never profess to needing a P&C space. The spaces have been created to make it a little easier for parents getting children out of cars ( now car park spaces are getting more narrow ). So i just don't understand why people who don't need them would occupy them? I'm all for making people's lives easier if possible

I would never have done so before having my DS.

hazeyjane · 21/12/2018 23:29

I know we weren't. I'm just pointing out that your polite, remark may well come across as rude.

I don't know what the acceptable cut off is for parent and child spaces, but if we parked in one with ds when he is older, and someone pointed out that it was for parent and child as we walked past...I would think they were having a bit of a prod at us for parking there.

FrancisCrawford · 21/12/2018 23:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Imissgmichael · 21/12/2018 23:34

I still don’t see why the OP thought it was ok to hog a p and c space just because her baby was asleep. You know some parents might have needed that space to do some actual shopping and you know, then go to work.

As for all the bitterness and name calling and yes I’m talking to you Persephone, your the one who thought it was ok to follow some around a shop in a very deliberate and obvious way. Very hypocritical.

As for wishing to meet some of these people in real life. That sounds like a threat. Give your head a shake.

Tigger001 · 21/12/2018 23:35

FrancisCrawford sorry, yes you are correct it may make there lives easier. I will rephrase. They are clearly marked as a P&C space as it has been identified that it would make life easier getting a baby/child out if the car.
So why would you not respect that?

bourbonbiccy · 21/12/2018 23:44

hazeyjane I apologise I don't quite understand your last post. If you parked in one when your DS is older, as in how old? My original point was I don't need it to be the law or enforceable, surely you will know yourself if you need to use that space for you child.

If he is of an age where he is capable of getting himself safely out of the car, then you stop using the space and no one would prod at you.

Sockwomble · 21/12/2018 23:48

My child is 13 but is not able to safely get themselves out of a car or behave safely in a car park. I could do without some random with no clue making comments about what I am doing

FrancisCrawford · 21/12/2018 23:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bourbonbiccy · 21/12/2018 23:51

And I would also hope they wouldn't make any comment to you.

Ginandsonicscrewdriver · 21/12/2018 23:52

I Parked in one today - I have no children. It was closer to the door of the supermarket and I was in a ridiculous amount of pain. I have a blue badge but the spaces were further away for some reason.

Ginandsonicscrewdriver · 21/12/2018 23:54

Also, I don’t have any qualms about using the parent and child spaces given the number of cars without blue badges parked in disabiled bays in shopping centres/supermarkets. If I can’t get a disabled bay I use whatever is nearest/gives me room.

Imissgmichael · 21/12/2018 23:57

I haven’t seen any vile comments. Unless you think supermarket c and p spaces are for parents to park up whilst baby has a nap. If so I think the supermarkets might have an issue with you.

Persephone70 · 22/12/2018 00:07

Imissgmichael - Your posts are making no sense, bitterness and name-calling have no resemblance to following around in a shop?! As for implying that I was threatening somebody!? That is a very strange perception of my saying that I would like to meet some of the people who were posting the brash comments, as I said it would be to see if they (you) were as brash and brave in real life - purely because internet warriors tend to be very different in the flesh. Like another poster said, MN seems to be a broiling ground for anonymous nastiness sometimes. I have broad shoulders, but there are other posters who may find the aggressive posts too much!

DrWhy · 22/12/2018 00:13

I appreciate that P&C spaces are a nice bonus, not an essential but I wish they would actually put them furth from the store so people who don’t need the additional space wouldn’t be interested in using them. Put in a good safe path with a barrier to the store and have a nearby trolley park with a range of child suitable trolleys and they’d be just as easy for most parents.

Imissgmichael · 22/12/2018 00:15

Persephone my posts may not make sense to you. Doesn’t alter the fact that following someone around to make a point is harassing and harassing someone can be seen as threatening.

Oh and yep I am as brave in real life. Been to court on numerous occasions to represent clients suffering intimidation, violence and domestic abuse.

Adorelabradors · 22/12/2018 00:16

I would never confront anyone in a car park for parking in a p and c space or a disabled space but it is quite simply wrong to park in p and c space if you do not have young children. It is wrong to park in disabled space if you don’t have a badge. That is why individuals are assessed in order to qualify. If you don’t qualify you don’t park there. It is quite simple.

I am astounded at the amount of criticism levied at the OP for this. Surprised to find that the majority of posters feel that it’s okay to park in these spaces if they chose to.

OP is right but I would not confront anyone.

I do however think that in car parks staff should be checking the disabled spaces to ensure they are not being abused.