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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To have a word? (Parent and child parking).

325 replies

OptimisticIntrovert · 21/12/2018 13:15

I've just pulled into a parent and child space (with my baby who is sleeping so waiting for him to wake up before i go into the supermarket).

A woman pulled into the space next to me- no kids in the car- and went in to the shop. She's not back yet.

AIBU to accost her when she comes back and tell her that it's not fair?

Most answers wins!

OP posts:
John4703 · 22/12/2018 19:47

Thought I might politely explain why the spaces exist...
My youngest child is now 37 so when my children were babies these spaces did not exist. I am being honest in asking why they are needed. I never found it difficult to push a buggy from anywhere in a supermarket car park and the toddlers were fine toddling along.
I might get attacked for this question but I really can't see why such spaces are needed.

Marriedwithchildren5 · 22/12/2018 20:05

@John4703 spaces are smaller, cars bigger, more cars about etc. Im pleased as anyone to get a parent and child space. One less thing to worry about. Its usually the neighbouring car and not mine im thinking about.

John4703 · 22/12/2018 20:14

@Marriedwithchildren5 thanks, I had not thought about the increased size of cars and the same size spaces in car parks.

ThatThingYouDo · 22/12/2018 20:49

John4703
It's more to do with having enough room to open your doors to get a car seat out.
In regular spaces this can be almost impossible!

Sparklingbrook · 22/12/2018 21:17

Cars with rear sliding doors are brilliant.

Tigger001 · 22/12/2018 22:33

@hazeyjane see peoples' moral compass are all subjective I suppose. You feel yours is good, however I don't think calling people a "dick" and putting them under your large dick umbrella is having a good moral compass. But it's ok as your not actually making a comment as they pass by.

Would you possibly "go red, look a bit flustered" and be "a bit taken aback " had it been a face to face encounter you were having whilst calling these people dicks, like you had felt previously.

Or is it ok as you are on a computer ?

How has this now turned into a blue badge parking space debate. It's clear to everyone, wether you define yourself as disabled, if you don't have a blue badge, you don't meet the criteria so don't park in that space as they are obviously there for more severely disabled people who do qualify for a blue badge. So why this has become a larger point to the actual thread.

genius1308 · 22/12/2018 22:35

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Beautyandthe · 22/12/2018 22:46

Actually can't believe there are people defending people who park in parent & toddler spaces who do not have a young child / baby or are pregnant.
You're the problem.

hazeyjane · 22/12/2018 23:00

You're right Tigger, we have different ideas about what constitutes 'doing the right thing'.
I personally am taken aback that people think it's ok to leave notes on cars, approach people and follow them round shops.
You think me saying on an internet forum that people who do those things are dicks is morally wrong. (You're right, I probably wouldn't say they are dicks to their faces, because it feels like asking for trouble to call someone a dick when they have no qualmd about being confrontational enough to approach a stranger over a parking space)

People are different, I think sometimes we have to just accept that and move along.

PurpleDaisies · 22/12/2018 23:17

Actually can't believe there are people defending people who park in parent & toddler spaces who do not have a young child / baby or are pregnant.
You're the problem.

Did you forget to add “or are disabled” to your list of acceptable reasons to park in a p and c space?

Fififerry1 · 22/12/2018 23:18

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PurpleDaisies · 22/12/2018 23:19

How did you know she was totally able bodied?

gimmeadoughnut123 · 22/12/2018 23:24

Fififerry1

I look totally able bodied to anyone that doesn't know me. I actually have a chronic pain condition and on some days, struggle to walk very far at all. I hide the pain because it is my life.

I am now pregnant so thankfully the pain is kind of dormant during pregnancy. But my point is, don't assume somebody is ok just because of how they look.

jessebuni · 23/12/2018 03:32

Honestly as a parent I’ve never said anything to people doing this because it’s not worth the fight. I have better things to get on with and I don’t want to start a fight that may end up with someone using offensive language directly in front of my children.

P&C spaces are actually useful being close to a path to get to and from the store and have the extra space however I would be just as happy if they were much further from the store. I don’t need to be next to the shop if there’s an adequate path and adequate space. Most parking spaces where I live are woefully small and I do not have a giant mum-mobile I have a Nissan note. My local Tesco and Sainsbury’s I can actually fit easily into the spaces just fine and get the kids in and out but in the town multi stories I think there must have been a target for number of spaces as they are so small so I do need to use P&C there.

I definitely vote for just moving the P&C spaces further away from the shop. Then those people that genuinely require the extra space can use them and those that want to be closer to the shop can park in normal spaces closer to the shop.

TidyDancer · 23/12/2018 05:20

@Fififerry1 I really hope you feel ashamed for doing that now, but I suspect since you posted in the way that you did that you probably don't. As others have stated on this thread, you really don't know whether someone has a hidden disability and even if they don't, silly parking wars do not give you the right to be so nasty to someone.

cassie2and2 · 23/12/2018 06:08

seems some of the mumsnet topics are becoming as petty as the gransnetters, please let it be the angst of christmas planning, used to so love the devil may care attitude on mumsnet.Wink

Rockmysocks · 23/12/2018 06:48

I want a parent and cat space. In fact, I want 2 because I have 2 cats.

Spikeyball · 23/12/2018 07:46

"they are obviously there for more severely disabled people who do qualify for a blue badge."

Someone who doesn't qualify for a blue badge may not be less severely disabled. It just means there is no box to tick on the form and although local authorities are supposed to allow for this by doing their own assessment some just say a blanket computer says no.
It is absolutely fine for anyone in this situation to park in p and c space and they should be able to use their reasonable adjustment without being harassed by comments and notes.
If someone has an issue with someone else parking in a space talk to the store.

ncasouting · 23/12/2018 08:05

@fififerry1. The steroids I take to manage my pain have made me gain weight.

I can’t exercise because of the various conditions I have.

The reason I’m fat is due to chronic pain.

That was a spectacularly nasty thing to do.

Spikeyball · 23/12/2018 08:15

All these people saying it is difficult,
stressful and a nightmare managing in car parks and then have the time to write notes, make comments on passers-by and follow people.

Sparklingbrook · 23/12/2018 08:24

Yes in such a rush all stressed out shopping with babies and toddlers. Plenty of time for giving strangers a piece of their mind and writing notes or stalking though.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 23/12/2018 08:25

This grinds my gears. I regularly leave 'lovely notes' on people's windscreens. In our supermarket it tends to be boy racers, blokes in work vans and entitled old people

Entitled old people. Who the fuck do you think you are? Mind your own business and leave these people alone. You have no idea why an elderly person might be using that space. Stop being a busy body and keep your beak out. Angry

masterandmargarita · 23/12/2018 08:30

Well i guess we all choose the rules we like to break. Me, I love a good queue jump And having loud mobile phone conversations in the quiet carriage. Fuck dem rules

hazeyjane · 23/12/2018 08:33

There is always time to perform ones moral duty!

Whowouldathunkit · 23/12/2018 08:34

My BIL does this regularly. I was in the car with him once and another couple had a right go at us.

Now the thing is, we had agreed to meet my sister at the local Tesco to pick their two daughters up, a 3 and a 5 year old. My sister was out shopping while BIL was in work. He picked me up and we both went into town to meet up with my sister. So we parked in the parent and child space as they would need to put the kids in the car when they left. But obviously we didn't have the kids with us when we parked up.

Should we not have used the parent and child space?

This is why it's silly to challenge people who use them when they appear to not have kids with them . You dont know their situation at all.

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