To be shocked at this comment about poverty?

[abacucat]

I have been thinking for a few days about a comment a MNer made on a thread about poverty. She said that she has nearly been in tears because a woman at the toddler group she went to had a hole in her shoe and thus had wet feet.
I have a hole in my shoe. I got a wet foot today. I don't think this is a big deal or worthy of "nearly being in tears". Surely it is pretty normal to have to wait a bit to be able to afford to replace things like shoes?
I just do't see it as a big deal at all, and I think this comment was OTT.
AIBU?

My next door neighbour noticed i inpynown one pair of shoes that were in ropey condition. She "outgrew" a pair of almost new ones in my size. Brand name ones too, which isnt something i care a jot about, but they are very comfortable. I think it is normal to be too poor to afford shoes until you absolutely have to replace them. For.me it didn't seem a good reason to buy some... i don't go out much. People who leave tge house every day obviously wouldn't be able to.keep putting the expense off.

I think it is absolutely shocking the degree of poverty that is revealed by what people are saying here about their reality

I also think people are encouraged to think poverty is shameful, that way, they will think it is their fault, and others will also think so, that way, we won't look too closely at inequality and just accept the status quo, assuming it is poor people's fault if they are in their situation and nothing needs to be done!

I would say, don't feel ashamed, feel angry!

It's difficult I think. You don't actually know that woman's circumstances. She may not be able to afford shoes for the foreseeable future. She may only have enough money to feed her kids. Or pay her rent. Or may be reliant on food banks. Universal credit is screwing some families right up.
So while for some people a hole in your shoes may be a short term issue that you can fix at the end of the month, for some it's not the case.

@Birdieinhand
I eventually bought a similar looking pair in Shoe Zone for a fiver once I could afford it.

I live on a very strict budget but doesn't mean I'm unhappy.

'We're all lying in the gutter but only some of us are looking up at the stars'

Oh god, I wonder what people in toddler groups must be thinking of me? They must be going home bawling I looked such a state

Or you can't afford the bus fare to buy secondhand shoes.

Alternatively, just because you cannot afford something right on the spot doesn't mean you live in poverty either. For instance a former worker's partner had plenty of money to be getting drunk on a Friday night, but no money to buy bread for sandwiches for the kids on Monday. That's called choice (regardless of what we may think of the decision and the person making it).

@Notbeforecoffee
Exactly what I'm thinking. I never wore my holely shoes but I went once without washing my hair or ironing my top?!

OP, i find myself surprisingly angry at your comments.

I am disabled and i work as much as possible. My dh just took a large paycut bc he is getting older and can't work out of town.

I think that what angers me is that true poverty is accompanied with hopelessness and fear. And i don't think that you understand the cold pit in your stomach fear.

Poverty is not a holey shoe or porridge for many meals; it's the dread of the next bad thing. The final nail in the coffin that will result in homelessness.

It's easy to "look at stars" etc. When you have a backup. We don't. We are it. No safety net.

I've been homeless, I've been broke, I've been hungry. A freaking hole in my shoe? Ha. Try no food. No money for medicine. Nobody who gave a darn and homeless shelters? They are crazy dangerous.

Yes, optimism is helpful but it's a platitude if you're hungry and cold.. Trust me, I've worked hard my entire life, I've cried bc i had no idea how to deal with the "next thing" that wiped us out.

And the real kicker? Im a middleclass person and i know other middleclass people who have lost everything including hope too.

Education makes poverty seem worse sometimes bc you feel like a failure. Sometimes it is really just bad luck.

Cats that's a bit unfair, the op is one of rhe few people who agree with you it's not poverty.

And no one is saying there is not more extreme levels of poverty of course there is

I'm sorry you're having it so tough right now, and I wish you all,the luck in the world.💐

Down to my last 3£ till Monday....Won't be buying shoes!

Just to clarify I'm not saying poverty is ok. I'm certainly not on the rich side of tge evergrowing divide & have I no back up either.

I'm not trying to offend anyone. Its your choice if you are. I just dont think people should judge.

I almost died of a brain hemorage a few years ago & before I was wheeled down to surgery not knowing if I would come out alive or vegetable I realised that material things don't matter.

Maybe there were more clues then just her shoes and the Op was referring to the whole picture. Let's face it the real point of your post is that you don't think poverty really exists in the terms that the status qou presents it. There isn't time here to explain the many different kinds of poverty that exist, but they do exist. Google it and find some solid data and studies and educate yourself rather than chucking opinions about based on nothing other than your inability to imagine lives different from yours. Happy Christmas.

Cats what youre describing is destitution and I dont think social class has anything to do with your experience of it.

Winnie who are you responding to?

Anyone else totally confused?

My favourite boots have worn through leaving me with wet feet when it's raining. I will just put up with them until February when I can afford to get a replacement pair, hopefully in the sales. They still look ok from the outside and nobody knows about the freezing squelching apart from me. Austerity is not over by any means. It is totally shit. We thought we'd have one more baby and ended up with surprise (gorgeous and much loved) twins on top of our already 2 child family. So now there are 4. The savings have run dry, we're renting and now faced with me unable to resurrect my career because of the cost of breakfast and after school club fees.

I remember the winter of 1963 when my family were poor and I had to walk to school in cardboard lined wellies..I hate to think that that sort of real deprivation is still here..it's a bloody disgrace in a rich country. It's the politicos who are ruling us who are living in a bubble...they really don't have a clue.
I consider myself very fortunate to have been educated and had a good job so I am solvent...
As a result of my poverty stricken childhood I only feel comfortable when I have a full food cupboard and several spare pairs of shoes. / spare clothes etc.
I also make sure I donate to homeless and food bank charities...I feel fine committing 10% of my income to that ,that's my privilege....but it is obscene that it is necessary...

I’m in the holey shoe brigade. I walk so much, my shoes wear through very quickly. Too many winters have I trudged to work and back in stupid cheap ballet pumps with holes in so now I have a pair of smart shoes that I keep in the office and wear walking shoes for the walking. The walking shoes will also wear through in time as they’re only good for a few hundred miles, but £30 from Sports Direct every 3 months isn’t too hard to budget for.

DS has school shoes, which I buy from the outlet and trainers and walking shoes which I get when they’re reduced.

I'd consider protection from the elements a fundamental human right, and in a rainy country like ours, I'd consider adequate footwear to be a basic need.

Therefore if the person is wearing holes shoes through necessity, not choice, the next question is why aren't they buying another pair. We're objectively very well off but when DD grew out of her school shoes (startrite) two weeks before the end of term, I made her wear them until the end, because it would be silly to buy a new pair at that point. She does have at least 12 pairs of alternative footwear, including sports kit though. I've been known to wear holey comfy converse just because I haven't got the time/energy to change them. I do have a wardrobe of alternatives.

If they can't currently afford a £200 pair of LK Bennett work shoes, then no, I wouldn't consider them poor from this measure alone. If they couldn't afford a cheap pair of shoes (say, supermarket) I'd assume they were struggling. Also if they're getting wet then I'd assume they didn't have an alternative, and anyone who only has one pair of footwear is someone I'd assume was not well off.

It makes me tearful to think of people who can't afford to replace their shoes when they're in this state. Being warm and dry is important for physical health (trench foot, anyone?) and mental health.

I had wet feet today but I'll have dry feet tomorrow as my new second-hand boots arrived from eBay!
The sole split on the boots I've worn for the last few years and they have been getting worse.
Tbh, I could have worn wellies but they leak too. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I'd say I'm quite poor but nowhere near "in poverty", it's nothing like it used to be where the gas or electric or both ran out frequently and we had to hide from the threat of bailiffs. I was terrified I'd be thrown into jail for not keeping up with the council tax.

I'm very good at budgeting now though and it makes me mad to see my friends constantly moaning how skint they are while wasting money like water. They want a certain lifestyle but can't always afford it.
I have friends with 4 times my income now who claim they are so poor and about to be made bankrupt, they are just shit with money and live well beyond their means.

I have loads of shoes which no longer fit due to bunions getting worse in the last few years.

I did not want to throw my old shoes out, because I remember not having decent shoes as a kid and am programmed to hoard. They have been accumulated over a few years, but a clear out is imminent.

Just to ask, would people actually buy second hand shoes from charity shops? I wouldn't because I need wide fitting shoes these days and prefer just one or two pairs which fit properly. Fashion is no longer a consideration in late fifties, but I have been too embarrassed to donate the old shoes to charity shops.