To be shocked at this comment about poverty?

[abacucat]

I have been thinking for a few days about a comment a MNer made on a thread about poverty. She said that she has nearly been in tears because a woman at the toddler group she went to had a hole in her shoe and thus had wet feet.
I have a hole in my shoe. I got a wet foot today. I don't think this is a big deal or worthy of "nearly being in tears". Surely it is pretty normal to have to wait a bit to be able to afford to replace things like shoes?
I just do't see it as a big deal at all, and I think this comment was OTT.
AIBU?

After eights, yours is temporary though, in a year or less one will be eligible for free nursery hours, lessening the child care cost burden, and in two both will be eligible, enabling you to go back to work, making you a two income family. As such there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Lots of people I think find their selves temporarily in poverty due to child care costs, I really don't think that's shameful, at all.

And I am in my late 50s. Is it shameful for me to have to wait to replace my holey shoes?

Op I don't know th answer, but I will be brutally honest, it could be yes and it could be no. The reason why is you haven't provided enough info.

What led you to this financial predicament, do you work, do you squander money on booze or fags, whatever, what responsibilities to you have,

If it's a situation of your own making through poor choices, then maybe, if it's a situation that is not of your own making then no clearly not.

So really it depends and no one can really answer it without further info.

I accept that not everyone has a launderette within walking distance. We didn't, we used our car. (I know, another thing that not everyone can afford.) I should think most people living in cities can access a launderette. I know that some people live in the country and can't get to a launderette.

Look at a map of the western part of East Sussex. There are launderettes in Seaford and Peacehaven, none in Newhaven, Lewes or Uckfield (each with a population in excess of 20k). None in any of the villages in between.

It's 10 miles to my nearest launderette, and takes 3 buses, or a bus and a train to the one 12 miles away.

Outside of big conurbations, launderettes are rare things. My late mother was adamant that there wasn't one in Milton Keynes, but I never felt the need to check if she was right!

More women work longer hours now, who would end up doing the hand washing of clothes?

When I was a kid, we had something called a "copper": it was a big, copper clad boiler, with a gas burner underneath. Every Monday, it would roar away, boil washing the sheets and towels, which would then be put through a mangle. The laundry took all day.

It sounds Dickensian now, but this was in the early 1960s, and not unusual.

sanpelle - 😂😂😂😂 classic mumsnet here we go. So you could just walk into a JD store and grab a pair of trainers in 2000 BC?

I know the thread has moved on but I just wanted to say that even in 2000 BC people wore shoes. Covering your feet to provide warmth and protection is not some weird, modern concept.

And if someone can't afford to replace their only pair of shoes they are living in poverty, I'm astonished anyone would suggest otherwise.

*Another thing that has received much publicity over the last year is this new thing called "period poverty". In my local Big tesco alongside the plethora of other collection boxes for foodbanks,cats,dogs,homeless,etc there is one called "red box". You buy sanitary wear and dump them in there.
So i check and i find very quickly that a pack of 16 branded always ultra sensitives can be had for 95 pence.

I dont wish to digress into female sanitary wear but have we really reached the stage where there isnt even 95 pence per month available in the household budget?*

I can assure you that "period poverty" really is a thing. Heavy and unpredictable periods and families with daughters can mean that a lot more than 16 towels a month are needed. The client I mentioned upthread, who has £70 a week for clothes, food, toiletries etc for a family of three, found it quite a burden, as does another client with 2 daughters who have started their period.

And the "household budget" is meaningless whes n benefit payments are late or don't arrive at all, when you're waiting 7 weeks (11, in some cases) for your first universal credit payment, when benefit overpayments are being clawed back at ridiculous rates or benefits have been suspended while the DWP, HMRC or council have decided they need to stop paying you while they take 8 weeks to reassess your claim because of a change of circumstances.

Also, there may be wealthy eccentrics walking around in holey shoes because that's the cut of their gib, but it does not negate the fact that people in one of the world's richest countries can not afford to buy adequate footwear.

My mum worked full time and hand washed in the bath. How she did it all I have no idea. She does say she remembers being absolutely exhausted a lot of the time.

Bluntness Why would I put up my financial details for some right wing people to judge me?

Bluntness Why would I put up my financial details for some right wing people to judge me?

I don't understand the right wing element to this but clearly you don't have to. It's you who asked the question, I was simply responding to you saying it's unanswerable without further information. That's not the same as requesting you post further info, simply it's stating a fact. We can't answer your question on the basis of the info provided.

I'm another who had holes in their shoes and in my Jeans then this year I spent my birthday money on myself for a change and replaced a pair of Jeans and spent a jaw dropping £100 on a pair of boots kind of left me feeling sick to spend so much money on myself but the soul was half off my old boots and I hadn't had new shoes in 3 years!

When i was younger i never had money to spend on myself, it all went on the kids. But i had good looks....now i’m older i have the money to spend loads on myself if i wanted to....but the good looks have gone. Damn.

yep def poverty if you cant afford a pair of sound shoes

Having read this thread I consider myself fortunate that I do not think it is normal or OK for an adult to have only one pair of wet weather shoes, or be unable to replace shoes with holes in due to financial constraints.

I do think it is normal not to be able to replace an expensive pair of shoes with ones of the same cost or not be able to do it immediately due to time constraints. But having to wait until pay day, or even longer and having wet feet, is not OK.

It's not shameful on you op. It's shameful on our society that it is not organised so everyone has what they need. This is a rich country, lots of people getting richer at the expense of others. Cuts and low wages, housing shortage, are deliberate to keep people at a disadvantage. The government and press like to blame the victim. There is therefore a stigma attached to poverty, but the fact is more 'respectable' families need foodbanks and can't manage on their money. Not talking people with multiple problems or people who can't or won't try to help themselves, they are stigmatised and should have help too. I mean ordinary people who are forced to struggle, it's a disgrace on us all.

It's strange that this thread has come up as yesterday I walked home in my work shoes & my feet got wet!!

I looked at the soles & they have small cracks in them.

I panicked as I have nothing similar (got to be black, flat & comfortable) but my lovely mum has given me her new pair of unworn Clark's black dolly shoes. They fit perfectly!

I wouldn't have been able to get a new pair yet otherwise & she doesn't want money for them.

It's not shameful on you op. It's shameful on our society that it is not organised so everyone has what they need. absolutely.

It's not shameful on you op. It's shameful on our society that it is not organised so everyone has what they need

And I disagree. Becayse ( and I'm sure she's not) but the op could be someone who elects not to work, or only work part time, to spend what money she has on boozing and smoking, or goods she doesn't need, gambling, whatever, who has done it for a lifetime, and as such is in this predicament through her own choices.

As said, I'm sure she's not, but I fail to see how if someone makes these choices the shame is on society. We can't live in a nanny state making choices for people. The info and rhe education is widely available, so without knowing why the op is in this predicament, I fail to see how anyone can absolutely say the shame is society's.

I'm not talking about people that own property or prefer to save as that is a personal choice. You could sell up/cash in and be better off. I'm talking renters /lodgers etc.

Whilst saving is a choice I don’t agree that home ownership is. People have to live somewhere and there isn’t enough social housing to go around. Private rents are often more expensive than mortgage payments on a comparative property and there is no security with the tenancy. And lots of people can’t sell up to cash in because they might have no equity and they will still need somewhere to live plus if they can’t afford shoes I can’t see how they will afford legal fees, rental deposits and moving fees as they will need to pay for them before any capital is released from the house sale (if there is any capital).

There are so many offensive, lazy stereotypical assumptions on this thread equating poverty with 'boozing, smoking and gambling.'
Is it only poor people who 'booze' then?

Look at the actual statistics for poverty in this country. For example, families who care for a disabled person are much more likely to be living in poverty than families who do not have a disabled family member.
People who live in poverty are more likely to develop mental health difficulties than people who do not.

And period poverty is real...I've experienced it myself as a young adult.

I agree seven.
Period poverty is absolutely real - I experienced it as a teenager and we have the disabled family related poverty now I am an adult. I’m not int he same poverty league as some and I feel very fortunate but we are by no means comfortable and one other financial knock could see us at the food bank.
Those who think poverty is fake news and not really that bad could easily find themselves in a really difficult situation if just a few unexpected things happen.