To be shocked at this comment about poverty?

[abacucat]

I have been thinking for a few days about a comment a MNer made on a thread about poverty. She said that she has nearly been in tears because a woman at the toddler group she went to had a hole in her shoe and thus had wet feet.
I have a hole in my shoe. I got a wet foot today. I don't think this is a big deal or worthy of "nearly being in tears". Surely it is pretty normal to have to wait a bit to be able to afford to replace things like shoes?
I just do't see it as a big deal at all, and I think this comment was OTT.
AIBU?

I dont wish to digress into female sanitary wear but have we really reached the stage where there isnt even 95 pence per month available in the household budget?*

I don’t know many woman who can get away with one pack for the month, plus you have households with more than one female.
Add on the extra cost of using more toilet paper than usual (to clean blood and period shits). Then you have the cost of washing clothing that you may have leaked on, the electric for it, the power, the water, the heating to dry it. Then pain relief.

Yup, there are women who cannot afford to have a period.

So i check and i find very quickly that a pack of 16 branded always ultra sensitives can be had for 95 pence.

Ffs. There was a thread on here a while ago with this type of clueless, uneducated attitude. 16 sanitary towels wouldn't last many women throughout their period. The better sanitary towels cost more than this. Many women would need good quality tampons and sanitary towels. Not forgetting painkillers, prescription painkillers.

I dont wish to digress into female sanitary wear but have we really reached the stage where there isnt even 95 pence per month available in the household budget?

You don't wish to digress, but you have in order to try to pretend again that people are not in poverty.

Anyway i'll shut up for a while and perhaps just read and learn

Good idea.

I have had a hole in my shoe before because it was my favourite pair and I wasn't able to find a new pair I liked straight away. Doesn't mean i was living in poverty

I buy a prescription 12 month thing (£10 a month) too because I need 2 inhalers and tranexamic acid (for the periods), but I can’t get painkillers. If I didn’t have this on DD it would be £8.40 x 3. Many people can’t afforded the £10. Painkillers for all 3 of us, various sanitary towels, creams, loo roll, vanish gold (I literally leaked earlier onto my work coat) for x 3 people

I find charity shops too expensive for me their prices seem to have gone up (as has everything else!)

I tend to stick to my wellies as another poster says cheap shoes aren’t generally waterproof. I am aware I look silly though and they aren’t suitable for work etc.

Another thing that has received much publicity over the last year is this new thing called "period poverty". In my local Big tesco alongside the plethora of other collection boxes for foodbanks,cats,dogs,homeless,etc there is one called "red box". You buy sanitary wear and dump them in there.
So i check and i find very quickly that a pack of 16 branded always ultra sensitives can be had for 95 pence.

I dont wish to digress into female sanitary wear but have we really reached the stage where there isnt even 95 pence per month available in the household budget?

16 sanitary towels definitely wouldn't have been enough for me when my periods were at their worst, and that was for several years before they finally gave me a D&C and I haven't bled since. Before that, I used to bleed and flood for days on end at times.

And yes, what with having to deal with leaks on my clothes and bedsheets, and painkillers, it was an expensive business. Thankfully, as I said earlier, my DH is on a reasonable salary, so it didn't cause us hardship. But for a family living hand to mouth, that would have been impossible.

So no, @Arnoldthecat you don't know what you're talking about there.

Some people have no idea. They just can’t see further than the end of their own little noses.

Poverty is not affording a washing machine? Yeah of course love, that’s the definition.

In answer OP, I tend to buy loafers for work as I have a drive and then a woman mile walk, and find them comfortable. I will replace when the hole appears. The uppers look good but the sole gives our first. I don’t think it’s that unusual. I wouldn’t expect my children to have holey footwear, hence waiting until the hole before I replace mine; constantly replacing 3 lots of shoes isn’t doable that regularly.

Random ‘woman’ there, sorry.

Personally I'd wear shoes with many holes if it's meant my dear children and grandchildren has waterproof footwear.

It's about what you prioritise. Me, I'm happy to wear flip flops most of the year. Good in water, good in sun. Not so good at other times though and definitely not work wear!

Newsflash: it's 2018. We don't live in the 70s anymore, thank fuck. I was there, it sucked. It's entirely stupid and pointless to compare today to 40+ years ago, it's the past. My dad was born in the 1930s. He remembers the Depression, WWII, rationing, the 50s. And he often says he's so glad we've moved on because it all sucked.

Oh dear, I've just seen my bold fail! I was quoting from @Arnoldthecat and then my own experience.

all my shoes are pretty hole-y at this stage, but I really dislike shopping or spending money on myself so it takes me ages to replace old things. Money is tight though so I guess anyone judging me by my clothes wouldn't be far off if they thought I'm poor.

I earn 100k+ and have a hole in the shoes I wore today 😳 so not an indicator of anything.

Seriously, I stopped considering myself poor when I was able to shop in a supermarket and pick whatever I wanted regardless of the price. Obviously not lobster and champagne for dinner, but if I want say a certain cheese or meat or whatever I’ll get it without thinking «can I afford it?». It wasn’t always the case and I really felt rich when it started being possible.

You seriously think not being able to replace a washing machine is poverty

Considering that most people work outside the home, the idea of having wash everything by hand

Is this thread still going? I am surprised.

Holes in the only one pair of shoes means - poor.

If one chooses to wear some old holey shoes is a different matter.

What more needs to be said?

Except that we need to attack poverty, which can manifest in many ways such as having very little or no food.

Trussell Trust.

‘Steve’ with dints and dirt all over his BMW wouldn’t be judged and accused of living in poverty so why does ‘Kate’ with a broken sole on her H&M shoes get all the stick?

@sanpelle
What stick?

Nobody is 'accusing' here.

Poverty is not a shameful thing.

It is a reflection of an economy that does not work for thousands of people, and it reflects very badly on a government that has pushed a policy of austerity in the face of both popular protest and expert opinion. It is not something an individual should be ashamed of.

Your take on poverty is bizarre.

sanpelle Wed 19-Dec-18 10:00:48

What does telling random people on the internet that they live in poverty really do for you? Is it fun, does it give you a big rush? Aimed at any PP who has done that on this thread. Anyone who has been accused of living in poverty this close to Christmas please send me a direct message and I will see what I can do to help!

This is absolutely extraordinary.

'Accused of living in poverty'????

WTAF

why do people get judged on cheap things rather than expensive things

sanpelle, your take on poverty is stupefying, and your reading of people's comments here is astounding.

Do you think poverty is something shameful?

Don’t judge people that you don’t know. Just going to say it one more time for the people at the back. SHOES ARE NOT AN INDICATION OF WEALTH. My father is incredibly well off yet has been wearing the same pair of sketchers for the part 2 years. I think they have holes in them. He’s not poor. Simple

There you go again.

How could you possibly think of poverty as something to be ashamed of?

Do you belong to some sort of megachurch that preaches that prosperity is a sign of God's favour?

Period poverty isn't a new thing, Arnold .

I think poverty feels pretty shameful when your living it. I'm not what living in poverty we have a good over our heads but im poor in comparison to alot of people. My wages £850pm only cover my rent and council tax after all my other bills have come out of tax credits we have £80 a week for myself and 3 children to feed and pay for anything else. So things like shoes breaking are a bit of a hard thing to cover.

I’m often in this predicament, not necessarily with shoes, but clothes and coats. My kids and food on the table, we live hand to mouth and am sometimes tearful at having no money to get bits needed but can wait if they have too.
But then if I tell my sister she gives me some money sometimes.
Been at the till to pay for shopping and my cards declined.
It happens to people a lot.

I took that quiz and our family is poorer than I thought. I'm glad we moved up North.

Why does poverty feel shameful?

I am not one of those people complained about here who have never experienced it. I am not suffering from a lack of empathy either. Circumstances can very often be beyond our control.

It feels shameful when your children are picked on or when your card is declined in a supermarket. When you have to turn down any social event at work because it's just not possible to even contemplate it.