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To Ask About The Most Hilariously Awful Xmas Gifts You've Received

312 replies

Absofuckinglutely · 18/12/2018 18:10

Lighthearted thread. The SIL's awful gift thread on here today made me wonder what the worst Xmas presents you've ever received are.

My stepmum - dad's third wife (who clearly doesn't like me and promotes her daughters and grandchildren over my child - whom she blatantly doesn't care two hoots about), gives the worst presents of all time.

There have been a few - monogrammed animal print dressing gowns for myself and my ex DH (we were still married at the time, she's not THAT bad). Cheapest, most flammable and flimsy material ever, Ex DH's barely skimmed his bum, and funniest of all, bore my married initial, when she knew perfectly well I had kept my maiden name.

The worst / best though was a bottle of vodka. Not too bad you're thinking......however, it had been opened and almost a third was missing. I shit you not. She'd clearly just gone into her cupboard and pulled out any old bottle that was lurking about and popped it in a gift bag - job done.

I'd also like to mention that they are incredibly wealthy people.

I now shake my head, laugh and wait for the next hilarious instalment of awful present giving.

Do regale me with your tales of crap present giving....

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
pomers · 19/12/2018 16:55

Armchairanarchist

I have just wet myself laughing

pomers · 19/12/2018 17:01

HeffalumpsDaughterGrin

theressomethingaboutmarie · 19/12/2018 17:02

My SIL, then about 25, sent DH and I a framed picture of her......

Knittedfairies · 19/12/2018 17:55

And there was me thinking my friend’s present of a burial plot as a Christmas present for her sister had to be a one-off! Silvercuckoo proves it ain’t so....

katseyes7 · 19/12/2018 19:13

When l was married to my ex husband (who my mother loved) we'd get money each, a video (back in the day), sweets, etc.
When l split up with him l got £1 coins from her. ln a Steradent tube. Several years on the trot. l'm not being ungrateful, l appreciated the money, but there was no thought about it whatsoever. And nothing at all on Christmas day. l'd rather have had a pair of socks or gloves and a £3 tub of sweets wrapped up!
At the same time she'd take delight in showing me stuff she'd bought for my cousin (expensive crystal ornaments, etc) "because l know she likes them." But there was no thought given to what l'd have liked.
l'd take her a ton of stuff on Christmas Day (she'd already chosen her 'big' present, a dressing gown or a coat, etc) like sweets, a book, a cd, a plant. She'd always say "you always bring me loads of nice surprises!" but it never occurred to her to reciprocate!

brizzledrizzle · 19/12/2018 19:17

We got a carbon monoxide detector from the in-laws.

At least they care, at least assuming it came with the batteries of course.

Bumbledop · 19/12/2018 19:26

A friend when I was at primary school gave me a set of three padded clothes hangers. I can still remember the disappointment. Funny thing is I still have one and it makes me smile now. We are still friends decades later Smile

katseyes7 · 19/12/2018 19:28

Not mine (fortunately!) but my friend's brother was notoriously weird, and even more notoriously tight fisted.
One year he gave her a video (this was about six years ago) of Princess Diana's funeral he'd got from a charity shop. The same year her kids got nothing from him, but her Staffie dog got toys and a treat stocking. All new.

BlackAmericanoNoSugar · 19/12/2018 19:29

My MIL once gave me pink, towelling, embroidered, fridge-door handle covers, similar to the picture.

DH and I argued about them for most of the flight home (12 hours), I thought they were horrendous and he thought I was showing a lack of respect if I didn't used them even though she would never know whether I used them or not. When we got home, tired and jet lagged, we realised that our fridge had recessed handles so we couldn't use them anyway.

To Ask About The Most Hilariously Awful Xmas Gifts You've Received
katseyes7 · 19/12/2018 19:30

EnglishRose13 That's a bit like buying someone one of those foot buffers. Nothing says Happy Christmas like suggesting you look like a Hobbit.

katseyes7 · 19/12/2018 19:31

BlackAmericanNoSugar Where the hell do you buy those?! l've never seen anything like it!

BookWitch · 19/12/2018 19:32

the first year we were married, DHs great aunt gave me a bottle of own brand anti dandruff shampoo. Lovely woman, but gifting was not her strong point.
Over the years, I also got poundland tea towels and a bright pink plastic tray.
Then, just to throw me, when DD1 was born (her first great-great niece), she crocheted the most beautiful baby shawl. It was amazing and DD1 now 24 still has it, and says she will keep it for her children one day.

MIL (very very straight laced, prim, polite, home counties, bordering on snobbish) bought me a very sexy black basque, suspenders and thong. Me and Dh still laugh about that. It is normally the sort of thing that DH would "appreciate" , but confessed to me it was a complete passion killer for him, because he can't get past what on earth his mother was thinking when she bought it.

DD2, when she was about 4, went through a brief period of enjoying baking (for maybe six months or so). Same MIL bought her a baking/cookery book every birthday and Christmas until she passed away a few years ago. (DD2 is about to graduate as an aerospace engineer who struggles with toast)

DH bought me a kettle last year, but he insists it was a joke. He thinks he is a comedian, as he is now telling me he's bought me a slow cooker this year.

BlackAmericanoNoSugar · 19/12/2018 19:35

They're all the rage in Malaysia Katseyes7. Grin Are you asking because you have an American style fridge and feel the need for some? Wink

We do actually have the style of fridge that has that type of handle now, but the pretty covers have sadly been lost somewhere in five moves and two changes of country.

Heartofglass21 · 19/12/2018 19:36

I want that crystal crab with bleeding claws @Armchairanarchist

My late MIL was very religious and used to send the DC exquisitely embroidered biblical sayings, framed. She was a great needlewoman and spent ages each year selecting the appropriate saying for each child. Fortunately my DC were bribed well-trained to appear overjoyed when all their friends were getting MP3 players and Furbies.

On the other hand, after she passed away, the local convent nursing home were delighted with the tapestries and they are all on display in the foyer, which is nice.

FunkyPunkyOne · 19/12/2018 19:36

I'm quite punky. Mohawk, piercings, bondage trousers. Listen to The Clash, Ramones, Anti-Nowhere League that kind of thing. I've been this way for many years.

My ex in-laws got me and El Devo, an xfactor type opera cd.

katseyes7 · 19/12/2018 19:38

sassh Most of those are exactly the kind of thing l'd love, except the ukulele. Maybe we could do a deal here....

QueenofallIsee · 19/12/2018 19:38

My mum who is usually an ok gift giver in that she sticks to tried and tested scents/vouchers, lost her mind one year and bought me an ENORMOUS peacock hair clip, covered in bizarre gemstones to imitate the tail. It was practically the size of my head.

Special mention to my DD who made up my (excellent) gifts with an adult colouring box ( I lie colouring) but had misunderstood - ‘‘twas not a colouring book for adults, it was an ‘adult’ colouring book Grin. I had a marvellous time shading in a very detailed vulva on boxing day

katseyes7 · 19/12/2018 19:38

FunkyPunkyOne Make an ashtray with it and give it back to them.

katseyes7 · 19/12/2018 19:40

BlackAmericanNoSugar l'm devastated, but alas, l don't have an American type fridge or l'd take them off your hands willingly. :D

MrsDrudge · 19/12/2018 19:48

A pair of hand knitted slipper socks which seemed to be knitted from such coarse string they were actually a form of painful torture to wear.
And a beautifully wrapped bottle of Zoflora disinfectant and 2 tea towel from MIL.

Theresahairbrushinthefridge · 19/12/2018 19:48

A spirit level.

Reader I still married him Hmm

katseyes7 · 19/12/2018 19:52

Three years running in the Secret Santa at work l got an assortment of chocolate body paint, a sex manual, and condoms.
l was in my forties and very happily divorced at the time. l'm not sure if it said more about the giver, or me.

katseyes7 · 19/12/2018 19:53

This thread is genius. Absolute genius. lt's done me the power of good!

katseyes7 · 19/12/2018 19:56

l've just remembered this one. Not mine, thank god, but a few years ago one of the very young, very pretty girls in the office opened her Secret Santa present and found a pair of red sequined nipple tassles.
We found out later that a 50+ man who also worked in the office had bought them.

NorthbyNorthwest22 · 19/12/2018 19:56

I’ve suffered from hair loss for many years. Sometimes it’s worse than others. The first year it was really bad my vile ex mil bought me a hair dryer and hair brush set. When my then husband challenged her about it she said she thought it would give me something to look forward too!