NeedAGoodUsernameThatIsntTaken ·
18/12/2018 09:33
For every birthday she texts or rings DH to make sure he sends a card and present, then rings him later to make sure he has done it. Sometimes she even tries to pick the present he should get or tell him how much he should spend (like trying to get DH to get a 50 pound birthday present for his aunt when she gets him nothing, sometimes not even a card). She even does this for thank you cards as well, telling us when we must send them. We didn't send thank you cards for the gifts we received for our son soon after having him so she send us a pack of thank you cards in the post to send people (we were busy and would have got round to it later). She even told DH who to send our baby scan pictures to, and that we must announce the birth on facebook. Just lots of make sure you do this then calls later to make sure he does it.
She didn’t want us to have a baby telling my DH "I hope your not trying for a baby". When we were were moving in together and DH was buying a house step FIL sent an email to both of us insinuating I might be a gold digger so be careful, and make sure we both do what is right etc (worded in the nicest possible way and I’m sure it was MIL’s idea). She told my DH the maximum amount he should spend on an engagement ring. At my sons christening we were trying to take pictures and she was in my DH's face saying we need to donate (we were going to after taking some photos) and she was demanding to know how much. His brother once went on a blind date with a women 5 years older than him and she was shouting and shouting about the age difference (I was staying at her house and could hear the yelling through the walls). She once thought I said I was a couple of years older than I am and the look on her face. When we first started dating she said I should really make an effort and wear makeup. If he puts on a little weight, she tells him he needs to walk to work (5 miles away), only have 1 meal a day, asks if he is eating to much junk food, and when she visits touches his belly and makes comments like "ow dear". We have decided I will be a sahm because with the cost of travel and childcare I would be just about breaking even or paying to work depending on how many days I can work from home. MIL is not happy with this telling my DH I should just work because I need a job and even tried to bribe him by saying she will pay for part of nursery (not an option because she would hold this over our head).
She constantly talks to me and DH as if we are children. When DH told her I was pregnant she was almost in tears on the phone asking how will we cope. For the first month after giving birth she would ring every day, giving unsolicited advice and pointing out the obvious. I really have to grit my teeth when talking to her because she constantly talks to me like a child.
She uses emotional blackmail to try and get what she wants. Like after always spending Christmas at her house, the first time we were going to spend it with my parents her reply was "but it could be your grandmothers last Christmas". One weekend we said she couldn't visit because I had a bad mastitis infection and I was devastated we had to top up with formula because our baby was losing weight. I especially didn't want to see her because she has been against breastfeeding since I have got pregnant making negative comments. She was constantly telling my husband "my friend started formula feeding and they and baby were much happier, and they got a prep machine and it was so much easier, ill get you one and you can formula feed". She also came into my bedroom when I was trying to breastfeed and she told me “its just so difficult, there is really no shame in giving up”. Because she couldn't visit that weekend she was shouting at DH over the phone saying "I'm just trying to help", and then she didn't visit for months and just sent texts implying we were stopping her from visiting and when will I be able to see my grandchild (we were just stopping her that one weekend). She also looked for any minor excuse to try to blame him or scold him for something.
She will lie and deny a lot of the things I'm saying here or say “I’m just trying to help”. She will deny things when its really obvious she is lying. She once made my DH buy a dress for me and his sister when they were in a store together. Mine mysteriously disappeared and his sister got it as a gift from MIL and when my DH asked where the dress was she denied all knowledge of its existence.
AIBU to be annoyed by this? Is this normal standard parent/ Mil behaviour?