BIL new GF staying on Boxing Day

[Olivetree615]

Hi all, I don't know if IABU..
BIL has a relatively new GF who neither me, OH or FIL have met. BIL has decided to invite said GF along to our traditional Boxing day gathering; this also includes staying the night.

Now, I'm not over the moon that he has invited a stranger to our home to spend the night, at this time of year, but I have made my peace with it. However, I do not want them sleeping in the DSCs bedroom.
We have one sofa bed which FIL would be using and BIL uses the single blow up bed.. WIBU to ask them to bring something for her to sleep on?

I don't want to seem unaccommodating but I'm not sure what else to suggest or how to word it without coming off cold..?

Were you planning on telling your dc that their uncle shagged in their bed? If not how on earth will it affect them in the slightest!
I do hope you update the day after Boxing Day and tell us what went on. A sheet inspection perhaps and we can diagnose possible activity.

Hohocabbage this is why I’m thinking it’s my own issue, the kids will of course have no idea but it just feels icky
I’m on board for the update to no doubt tell you all how lovely she turned out to be

I strongly doubt they would be utilising the kids bed for such nocturnal activities! And if they did, what's the problem? Dies your dc have a double bed? If not a mattress on the floor next to the single bed is perfect

@Olivetree615 - Amazon. bung a couple of those on the bed, and point made!! Perfect if you're doing secret santa too!!
Don't worry about it, I had a bit of a meltdown this morning about people sending me things to wrap for the dcs. then I had a word with myself and reminded myself that I was lucky people loved the dcs enough to send gifts. Could've wrapped the fuckers though (a joke before I get roasted for being ungrateful!!)
It'll be OK, and if it's not? Gin

How about putting a Peppa Pig duvet on the bed , to make the point in a PA way

That might encourage them

“Ooooh, daddy pig, faster”
“Here we go Miss Rabbit, hold on”

Massive drip feed there!!! There we all are imagining a small single child's bed when there's a double bed in the room!!!

Your bil probably should have asked before inviting her, but if it was me I wouldn't see it as being a problem, my family are very welcoming towards new partners. Asking people to sleep on the floor/sofa beds separately is plain weird when there is a bed right there. I'd be very put out if I was asked to sleep separate from my partner as a guest in someone's house when it's clear that there is room for us to actually be together. I'd assume you were a bit odd/religious and it'd probably set the tone for our relationship.

The children are not giving up their beds. They are not there. The beds will be unoccupied.

It's still their room and their bed.

I wouldn't be keen to lend it out.

I understand where you are coming from. I wouldn't like a couple to sleep in my kids beds. I would be annoyed if someone had sex in their bed, even though I know it would be fine and I wouldn't be able to say much about it. I would get your husband to have a word and say not in a kids bed, surely that would put you off. But if I was that girl I wouldn't be having sex in a kids bed in a house with my new bf's family including father. Not exactly romantic.

You could slip written notes in the Christmas crackers.

'Please, for the love of all that is holy, don't have sex in my kids' beds'

Then pretend it didn't happen.

I spent Boxing Day last year at my boyfriends parents house (whom I'd only met once)- we'd been together 4 months then. I met his brother, nan, sister and her fiancé all at once, it was a lot and unfortunately I wasn't made to feel very welcome by the siblings (parents and nan were lovely). Try and make her feel comfortable.

I didn't stay the night though.

Give them your bed and you and your OH sleep in the child's double bed.

Your risk coming off as the crazy sex obsessed SIL who was unwelcoming during the holidays, if they do get married. And trust me, she won’t forget that. You would be forever referred to as the weird SIL.

Why should she give up her own bed for someone they’ve not even invited?! The new couple would be more likely to have sex in an adult’s bed than a child’s.

OP, stick a mattress protector down and strip the bed once they’ve left. It will be like it never happened!

If it were me, and my daughter’s bed, I think I would hint or tell them somehow that it’s “not for shagging”. I couldn’t bear the thought of someone having sex in my little girl’s bed.

I am that weird SIL though!

I doubt they will have sex in any of your beds, visitors usually don't if it's just for one night. She is really brave going to stay with her partner's relatives when she has never met them, I would never have done that. I'd have been looking for an escape route all the time and not relaxed one bit!

Hope all works out.

Shatners Wig - your question to me qas a while back but I had started.going out with him in the September and had been to their house at least weekly between Sept and Dec if not more. Indeed had stayed over but it was just the 'only family at Christmas when I was 19 and 3000 miles away from my parents/siblings. I would never let anyone be on their own at Christmas