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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I don't need to plan my family around BIL's?!

128 replies

mistletoeandwine86 · 16/12/2018 21:04

DS has just turned 2. I am pregnant again with DC2 due in May. BIL and SIL are due with their first baby in Jan.

DH has just got back from seeing them today, DS and I were going to go to but DS has chickenpox. DH told me that him and BIL argued a little because they were/ are still a bit put out that I got pregnant again quite quickly after they announced SIL was pregnant.

We were actually already ttc for DC2 when they announced their pregnancy. I was certainly not going to just stop ttc just because they announced they were having a baby. I actually made a comment about how nice it will be that the babies/cousins a few weeks ago. It never occurred to me that it would be a problem or they would feel this way. Xmas Shock But apparently they waited until our DS was 1 before they started ttc!

So were we BU??

OP posts:
Original poster
mistletoeandwine86 · 16/12/2018 21:05

Meant to say, I made a comment about how nice it will be that the 2 baby cousins will be close in age.

OP posts:
Imaghosthowareyoooooo · 16/12/2018 21:05

They are clearly mad.

Shoxfordian · 16/12/2018 21:06

Yes you should ask them for their weekly sex schedule to avoid this in future...!.They sound ridiculous

Disfordarkchocolate · 16/12/2018 21:06

Getting pregnant is never guaranteed, I wouldn't put that on hold for anyone in my family. They are very odd.

madrose · 16/12/2018 21:06

No,

but sibling rivalry rears it's ugly head for the silliest of reasons.

Enjoy your little one and the one on it's way.

Sinead100 · 16/12/2018 21:06

They're idiots.

strawberrypenguin · 16/12/2018 21:06

Nope, you were not being unreasonable at all. They on the other hand sound a little bonkers!

SnuggyBuggy · 16/12/2018 21:06

They sound batshit

Stupidusername1 · 16/12/2018 21:07

I can't beat the p.p.

They are clearly mad.

CottonTailRabbit · 16/12/2018 21:07

They are loons.

BendingSpoons · 16/12/2018 21:08

Haha crazy! DNiece is 2 months younger than DD. It's great. YADNBU!

MilkyCuppa · 16/12/2018 21:08

What’s their reason for not wanting you to have a DC the same age as theirs? They sound nuts.

BendydickCuminsnatch · 16/12/2018 21:08

Ha! Utter lunacy. DS1 and niece 1 were due 2 days apart. DS2 and niece 2 were due 10 days apart. Good job none of us were as immature as your SIL sounds!!

Original poster
mistletoeandwine86 · 16/12/2018 21:09

Thanks for the replies

Apparently they are worried that it steals their limelight, they waited till our DS was 1 because they didn't want to steal ours! It would never have bothered me if they had got pregnant before. They are worried that the babies will be compared by grandparents etc.

OP posts:
AllShockUp · 16/12/2018 21:09

They want to enjoy having the family fuss around their new born for longer than 4 months when your second one arrives

WineAndTiramisu · 16/12/2018 21:09

They're completely nuts. End of. Grin

Ifangyow · 16/12/2018 21:10

Crazy.
Are you meant to take turns in getting pregnant?
How old is baby meant to be before its the other ones turn?
Take no notice OP.

AllShockUp · 16/12/2018 21:10

X post

thinkingaboutthinking19 · 16/12/2018 21:11

Wow - they are mad and need to get over themselves!

MilkyCuppa · 16/12/2018 21:12

So how long are you supposed to wait? I guess they think a year is the minimum? They are idiots.

LittleScottieDog · 16/12/2018 21:14

What if they had waited until your DC was 1 and it had taken 2 years for them to conceive (took me that long)?! We're you supposed to wait for that before contemplating conceiving again yourself?

They are crazy, it's not about "having time in the limelight", it's about living your own life.

pallisers · 16/12/2018 21:14

They are nuts. Do they get out much? Shock, horror, people of the same age have children around the same time.

Not only have all of my cousins multiple cousins of the same age - we mostly have the same names too :)

Groovee · 16/12/2018 21:14

My BIL and SIL have never forgiven us for having the first grandchild. Then I had my 2nd 5 months after their first.

My eldest is 19 now and she dislikes them both. We keep our distance as much as we can.

Marmite27 · 16/12/2018 21:16

When I got pregnant with DC1 my SIL was pregnant and I got the same reaction Hmm with DC2 I’d actually got a positive test the morning they told us they were 7 weeks pregnant. I enjoyed that secret rather more than I should have for a few weeks Grin

When it was mentioned again, they were it very firmly in their place and were told that I wasn’t planning my family at their convenience, they could like it or lump it.

The good news is they seem to like it as all the cousins are similar ages and play together nicely.

grinchmas · 16/12/2018 21:17

People get upset over the strangest of things. My sister was annoyed with her SIL for expecting her 3rd baby 2 weeks before she was.

She said dead pan that she "wouldn't have been annoyed if it was her second but she (her SIL) has one of each, why did she have to have more when she knew they'd be ttc after their wedding?!?".

My sister is a bit of a dick though.